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To ask how I persuade DH to have another child?

(14 Posts)
Conniedescending Mon 21-Nov-16 07:49:21

Have thought long and hard about this after I had a mc a year ago following an unplanned pg. I know it is what I want and have separated the grief from the urge.

DH is not that keen but after A really hectic few weeks we 're going to have a proper talk tonight. So, what can I say to get him on board? Will caveat this with I won't be leaving him or issuing ultimatums if he is adamant but I do think he'll need a push to get in that head space again.

Loaferloveforyou Mon 21-Nov-16 07:55:19

Just tell him, don't try and persuade him. No one should have to be persuaded to have a child.

Explain your thoughts and feelings, lay it all out and if he's not keen initially ask him to at least consider it without trying to persuade him.

Sorry for your loss flowers

AyeAmarok Mon 21-Nov-16 07:56:18

You don't try to persuade.

You have a discussion, find out what his reasons are for not wanting it and talk about those. Tell him that you really do, and why. And see what he says.

You both need to be completely on board. Not one pressuring the other, as that way resentment lies.

Sorry about your MC flowers

Fortnum Mon 21-Nov-16 09:07:59

How many kids do you have currently ? How old are you both?

Conniedescending Mon 21-Nov-16 12:57:17

Thanks for the comments ...yes I suppose persuade is the wrong word - get him to see the positives is what I wAnt to do.

We have 4, youngest is 9. I'm 39 and he's 44 so it's now or never time I think

JackShit Mon 21-Nov-16 13:25:39

You already have 4 shock Leave it there I reckon.

hellsbellsmelons Mon 21-Nov-16 13:33:27

You have 4 under 9!
Blimey, I'm not surprised he doesn't want anymore.
But if you want one and he's OK with it then each to their own.
But if he is not then you should leave it and not try to 'persuade' him.

MuseumOfCurry Mon 21-Nov-16 13:36:36

If I had four children and my husband tried to persuade me to have more, I'd be seriously fucked off.

amusedbush Mon 21-Nov-16 13:39:00

I'm not surprised he doesn't want to start over again at 44 when you already have four kids!

FlyingElbows Mon 21-Nov-16 13:41:09

You don't try and persuade. You talk, you listen and you respect his choice (and it is his choice which he has every right to make) either way.

hellsbellsmelons Mon 21-Nov-16 13:42:30

Sorry - didn't read it properly.
Youngest is 9!
I agree with PP.
I wouldn't start again at 44 either.
Just as they are getting independent and you start to get a bit of your life back, you're back at square one with sleepless nights, shitty nappies, etc....
No thanks.

Conniedescending Mon 21-Nov-16 18:18:00

I probably can persuade him though. He is a good man and adores me and the children. I don't really see it as starting again and not Ina mad rush to get an independent life back. Our family is our life and we enjoy spending g time together

Tobeemoree Mon 21-Nov-16 18:21:12

It's not reasonable to persuade; it is very reasonable to explain your feelings, and listen to his.

How would you feel if you were uncertain, and he put pressure on you?

SEsofty Mon 21-Nov-16 18:46:19

Have you had any counseling about your loss? Having another baby won't replace the loss

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