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To ask ex to drop DD at nursery?

(8 Posts)
FuzzyBoots Sun 20-Nov-16 23:21:53

DD is 2. Ex has her every other weekend and lives about 45 mins away. He hasn't had a job for about 6 months, I work part time. I asked if he would like to have any more time with her when he quit his job, he didn't take me up on it so I therefore pay for nursery while I work .

On his weekends, I was having a really rough time as he was insisting on dropping her back at about 3 on Sunday which meant she would sleep all the way home and bedtime would be an absolute nightmare. So, I asked if he could start dropping her at nursery in the morning on Monday instead. I said there was no set time and he could drop her in whenever but he said no as it was too much trouble to get there in the morning (even though I said he could leave after morning traffic). So I asked if he could drop her back at night, in pyjamas so when she falls asleep in the car I can just carry her straight up. This worked a few times but the last couple of times it hasn't.

It is now 20 past 11 and my child is shouting and singing and bouncing on the bed. We have to be up at 6 and she is going to be exhausted, as am I.

So wibu to attempt (attempt because Im no good at confrontation) to put my foot down and say he either gets up Monday morning and drops her at nursery or drops her back first thing Sunday morning instead? Or am I being harsh? If he genuinely couldn't because of work etc of course id be more understanding, but I don't see why DD and I should have to be up all night and be tired the next day so he isn't put out.

Ineededtonamechange Sun 20-Nov-16 23:32:49

You aren't being harsh. He is being a selfish lazy sod.

He needs to do what works for your dd... what else does he do in the week if he doesn't work?

MommaGee Mon 21-Nov-16 00:03:21

If he doesn't work can't he keep her Monday and drop her off at whatever time you'd get her back from nursery?

Chelazla Mon 21-Nov-16 00:06:15

You aren't unreasonable! I see why he's your ex lazy man!!!

Thingywhatsit Mon 21-Nov-16 00:11:04

He sounds like my ex - dropping her home after letting her have an extra long nap in the day and then her being awake till midnight. I just told him he either dropped her home by 3 (so he would only have her for 5 hours once a week) or didn't bring her home until she was asleep for the night. That soon sorted it out.

Lucked Mon 21-Nov-16 00:20:49

Well he sounds lazy so I don't think he will do more but could he change his contact days to Sunday/monday whilst not working then it is the same amount of time but one less day for you to pay for. Although Tuesdays might turn into the problem day.

Sell it to him as always have a Saturday to himself. Downside is you never have Saturday to yourself.

FuzzyBoots Mon 21-Nov-16 07:38:40

Thanks for your replies, I'm glad I'm not going mad! (My Mum often thinks I'm giving him a 'hard time' so I do sometimes wonder)

Ineeded, I have absolutely no idea what he does! I have thought the same myself.

MommaGee, he only has her every other weekend, so I can't drop Mondays so if he did that I would essentially be paying £30 for a morning at nursery for nothing, which although is possible, I really resent doing!

Lucked, if I change it then he would have to do it every week as opposed to every other to save any money, as nursery don't allow her to have a different timetable it has to be the same every week! 

harderandharder2breathe Mon 21-Nov-16 08:39:09

You're not being harsh, this is her dad he should WANT to do what's best for her! And since he's a selfish twat, you're having to push him to do what's best for her.

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