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to just leave at my normal time?

(162 Posts)
Chilver Sun 20-Nov-16 08:54:56

My office has mandated training in a certain day. My daughter's (nearly 5yo) first play, where she has lines, is on the same day at 5.15pm. She is very excited and talks loads about me seeing her in her first play. My commute is 1.05mins.

I asked the office director if there was an agenda as yet for the day as I would be gutted to miss the play and want to see if I could leave at 4pm. (It could potentially also be my last day at work for the year). He has responded with a cheery 'the agenda runs from 9am-5pm. Your request cannot be accommodated. Sorry!'

My contracted hours are 9am-4.30pm with flexible start and end times; I work 8am to 4.30pm every day. Could I just leave at 4.30 and hope I get there to at least hear my daughter's part? Or should I stay until 5pm and miss the play entirely. Or just walk out anyway at 4pm??? AIBU to be pissed particularly at his cheery response (he hasn't actually got the detailed agenda from trainer, just a generic block time)??

peachesandcreamdream Sun 20-Nov-16 09:04:47

I don't think any of us can answer that sad

Your boss sounds like a dick.

If I were you I'd make no more mention of it and then oh my goodness what a terrible migraine you'll have at lunchtime on the day of your course. Need to go home. Sorry!


monkeysox Sun 20-Nov-16 09:06:31

I'd stay off that day.

StealthPolarBear Sun 20-Nov-16 09:09:23

Hmm. Your boss sounds extremely in accommodating although I'm not sure I agree with the pull a sickie line!

ScrumpyBetty Sun 20-Nov-16 09:09:33

I would go at 4 OP! Sounds like you've been doing more than your contracted hours every day and I'm sure that missing the last hour of your training won't be the end of the world.

ClopySow Sun 20-Nov-16 09:10:08

What does your contract say? If training is mandatory and flexibility works both ways then you have to attend.

Chilver Sun 20-Nov-16 09:10:21

He's actually not my boss, but my boss sits in another country. He is the office director so in charge of this training. Not sure whether to speak to my boss directly and have him potentially override it?

StealthPolarBear Sun 20-Nov-16 09:10:48

Keep pushing for an agenda or send boss an email confirming uou will need to leave dead on 4pm.
only you know how those will go down. I could do the second because my boss knows I am extremely flexible and we are family friendly

peachesandcreamdream Sun 20-Nov-16 09:11:20


I'd never normally advocate it but experience at these type of work
Events tell me that OP will spend the last hour doing something where she is completely superfluous and raging that she could've been watching her child in a play

JosephineMaynard Sun 20-Nov-16 09:14:24

It's an unhelpful response.

But difficult to say whether it'd be unreasonable to walk out early without knowing more about e.g. how important the training is for your work; what repercussions you'd face from management etc.

Unprofessional to pull a sickie though, and I can't see it going down well if work find out you've been at your child's play instead of at home on your sickbed.

OnlyEatsToast Sun 20-Nov-16 09:14:51

I would email him, cc in HR,
Dear x
Further to our discussions regarding the agenda for this mandatory training, I must apologise in advance as because my working hours are 8-4:30 due to childcare arrangements, I will have to leave at 4:30 and may have to miss the last 30mins of the session. I'd be happy to catch up on any key points that I miss at a later date.

CrazyCatLaydee123 Sun 20-Nov-16 09:15:19

Is the school only doing the play once? At our school we do them 4 times in a week - once for the rest of the school, once to the infant school, plus an afternoon and evening showing for parents.

StealthPolarBear Sun 20-Nov-16 09:15:22

Oh completely agree. I am at a mandatory all day event tomorrow which finishes at 3, I have booked on the 3.08 train home smile but I know I can get away with it every now and again as when there are important events that i ctually should attend I rearrange scool pick up to make it happen. But pulling a sickie will be obvious and just make her look unprofessional. She also might have to redo the training - hopefully she'll find out it actually finishes at 4.

Chilver Sun 20-Nov-16 09:16:16

I'll check my contract again - from memory it has the core hours statement with flexible start/end times (because I made them put it in because I didn't want them to turn around saying I had to work to 5pm!). It does say something about working extra hours on occasion as needed. We have had a battle regarding overtime as I've worked a lot due to the Director (whole other story!) And they pushed for clarification and now I get paid or TOIL. But this doesn't fall under that, the intention is I'd just start at 9am not 8am as per normal on this day.

Chilver Sun 20-Nov-16 09:17:24

And yes, play is only once as it's actually a stage coach kind of play, not school one.

StealthPolarBear Sun 20-Nov-16 09:18:07

Ah so you don't work over - the 8-4.30 gets your hours done?

Chilver Sun 20-Nov-16 09:18:42

Training is for new finance/ project coding system. I really can't actually imagine that it would even take from 9-5pm to teach 3 of us the whole system!!

Chilver Sun 20-Nov-16 09:20:47

Yes, stealth, 8am-4.30 is my normal working hours. (I do a lot outside that even not counting any agreed 'extra hour's that they will pay)

Trifleorbust Sun 20-Nov-16 09:22:09

Phone in sick and then start looking for a new job. I am usually a stickler for the rules but... It is only a job. Why work for people like that? You will only ever have one first school play for your child.

But wear a hat and glasses so you aren't recognised 🤓

CruCru Sun 20-Nov-16 09:23:40

Why is it your last day at work for the year? Are you going on mat leave?

Trifleorbust Sun 20-Nov-16 09:24:13

Sorry, just read your update. Email him back: 'Thank for you for email. I am sorry as I seem to have made the request unnecessarily. Having checked my contract, my working day goes to 4.30pm so I will be leaving at that time. Thank you for considering my request.'

Then look for a new job.

EsmesBees Sun 20-Nov-16 09:24:17

This is annoying. Especially as the last hour is unlikely to be the key to the whole day. How important is this training and how many others are on it with you? I only ask because On the last full day training my team did (where there are lots of working parents) we asked the trainer for a shorter lunch break so everyone could leave 30 mins early.

Chilver Sun 20-Nov-16 09:29:48

Lol, like some of these responses, thank you! I am already intending to look for a new job in the new year grin (largely due to this Director!

And CruCru, I'm supposed to be going on leave as I'm owed so much overtime I have a couple of weeks to take before the end of the year! (Hasnt actually been approved yet.....)

CruCru Sun 20-Nov-16 09:35:47

Ah I see.

viques Sun 20-Nov-16 09:48:11

The pm session is bound to have a break . I would go to the loo and not reappear. Of course if the total number of participants is less than 20 this might be noticed, but if more I doubt if anyone will miss you. If they do then refer to an embarrassing attack of upset stomach , blame it on the catered food if catered food provided ( "I didn't think the ham was very naice.")

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