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To be annoyed that mother-in-law is doing my kids' Christmas stocking?

(305 Posts)
Nickname1980 Sat 19-Nov-16 21:52:09

Ok first world problem.

This is really bugging me and I think I am being unreasonable but I can't help it!

Anyway. I made my DCs' Christmas stockings this year, a bad knit job, but I'm proud of them as I can't make anything much. Anyway, yesterday, MIL says "oh I found my kids' old stockings! So I'm going to fill them up for your children on Christmas Day. You can hang them at the end of their beds in the morning" blah blah blah.

Immediately I replied "oh thank you" because I was surprised and I am basically a people pleaser and didn't want to say no.

She then said it would bring so much joy to her and her mother (their great granny) to do that together, that they've already started buying the gifts.

Then I told her that I'd already knitted the kids' stockings because I really don't want her to take over. She replied "oh well, these are heirlooms!"

Am I being mean that I don't want her to do their stockings? That she had her chance to do it when her kids were little and that it's my turn now?

She does a lot for us, and tries really hard, and utterly dotes on my DC. Am I just being totally selfish and should I let her do this?

I know. Total first world problems. I wonder if I should just feel lucky that she wants to be so involved?!? But I just feel a bit annoyed that she's trying to take over.

Mummyshortlegz Sat 19-Nov-16 21:53:01

Hang them out on Boxing Day and tell them they were so good Santa came back or something?

Backingvocals Sat 19-Nov-16 21:53:28

I'm with you. Its your turn now.

Valeriemalorie Sat 19-Nov-16 21:53:47

Do both?

DeadGood Sat 19-Nov-16 21:54:08

What's your christmas day plan - is your MIL coming to you? Are you going to them?

Basically, can there be two stockings?

Sparlklesilverglitter Sat 19-Nov-16 21:54:24

Can't they have two ?

I did as a child, grandma gave me a stocking and so did my parents. I still have both stockings DH fills them for me each year

OohhThatsMe Sat 19-Nov-16 21:54:26

No. Tell her firmly that Christmas stockings are for the parents to do. She did them for her children and now it's your chance to do them for yours.

Don't let her, OP!

BertrandRussell Sat 19-Nov-16 21:55:35

Your stockings most definitely at your house for Christmas morning. And hers at her house for whenever you visit! "Oh look! Aren't you lucky- Father Christmas knew you were coming to Granny's house and brought you stockings here too!" If you need to sell it to her say that way she'll have the fun of seeing them being opened.

EatTheCake Sat 19-Nov-16 21:55:55

Can't they have both?

All my DC have 2 stockings one from me & DH and one from the inlaws. My DC open 1 stocking with breakfast and the other after dinner.

Fevertree Sat 19-Nov-16 21:56:07

I think you need to give her a call, apologise but explain you really want to do them yourself. My grandparents are a little bit like this (buy my dd's Halloween outfit,Christmas jumpers etc) and they do it out of love but some things are the parents' job and this is most definitely one of them x

Doublemint Sat 19-Nov-16 21:56:21

YANBU. She's had her run at being Father Christmas and now it's your turn.

My MIL did the same thing with "Santa sacks" (she buys too much stuff for stockings) including making the sacks and embroidering their names on. She would only let Dds open them at hers at a later date after Christmas Day. She also gets confused and as they're opening them says they're from her, even thought they're supposed to be from FC.

It was a lovely gesture but this year me and DH have said on numerous occasions that we want our children to have one visit from FC. She can still give the same massive overkill volume of presents but they must all be wrapped and labelled from her, so Dds know who to thank and that FC only visits OUR house and not hers

wobblywonderwoman Sat 19-Nov-16 21:56:59

Bert has it nailed

HarryDresdensLeatherDuster Sat 19-Nov-16 21:57:05

Hers under the tree from Grandma and yours at the end of the beds (or on the landing they contain a kitchen like ours diode year!).

My kids are mine at Christmas!

idontlikealdi Sat 19-Nov-16 21:57:33

My mil seems to think it's her job and it royally fucks me off. I've bought the stuff already and she's just asked for the stockings. I've told DH to tell her. It may not go well.

LightsLoveLaughter Sat 19-Nov-16 21:57:44

Just say thank you and give them your stockings and leave the other gifts somewhere else?

Pinkheart5915 Sat 19-Nov-16 21:57:54

Anyway you can use both?
Either have them both at your home and allow children them at different times of the day OR they have your at home and mil stocking at her house over Christmas period "Santa left it at mil"

My DC have 2 stockings one me and dh brought the other mil knitted

Microwaste Sat 19-Nov-16 21:58:24

My MIL does stockings for all her grandchildren on Boxing Day, they love it. Can you not do something like that?

MyHairNeedsASnip Sat 19-Nov-16 22:00:31

Yep, MIL does this. Stocking, advent calendar and she seemed surprised that I'd bought a DD a Christmas jumper because she's got her one too. DD is happy getting all the stuff but I do wish I could just do it on my own. We'll only get the Christmas jumper on Christmas day so I'm not sure if she expects me to put it straight on her.

I'd accept the filled stocking but leave them downstairs with the other gifts and use yours as the 'real' ones.

happypoobum Sat 19-Nov-16 22:02:40

Oh God no I would "lose" them..........

BertrandRussell Sat 19-Nov-16 22:04:45

"Oh God no I would "lose" them.........."
Or you could take one of the other suggestions which makes everyone happy.......Just a thought.

Allalonenow Sat 19-Nov-16 22:05:08

Ask her for them ASAP and give them to your children on December 6th, St Nicholas Day, then do your own stockings for Christmas Eve. Tell her what you plan to do, she may not bother again.

SaucyJack Sat 19-Nov-16 22:05:40

No, it's not selfish to want to do these things for your own children yourself.

I think you should be honest with her though. Ring her up and thank her for her kind offer, but tell her (nicely!) that you will be doing them yourself.

If she wants to have a shit fit then that's up to her. Not your problem.

Tangoandcreditcards Sat 19-Nov-16 22:07:36

Oh gosh. I'm so glad you wrote this thread. My (honestly) lovely MIL is doing stockings for our DCs (not yet 1 and 2) and I've backed down and said she can because I can't bear to have 2 lots of stocking rubbish for each of them and thought it would be nice for her as she seems to enjoy it (so do I!). But I've been secretly seething about it and thought I was being so unreasonable.

I'm still too much of a chicken to do anything about it but I'm feeling vindicated in my secret feelings!

Qwertie Sat 19-Nov-16 22:08:16

YANBU doing the Christmas stocking is by far the most magical part for me & DH. We have ruddy well earned that magic through the year too. I'm really lucky that me & DH have exactly the same views on father Xmas; what presents he brings, what type of wrapping paper he uses...& I think he would be equally horrified by this. You need to politely explain that you love to do this and your children will only be small for a short while & you won't get another chance at this (hint, hint; you've already had this chance mil)

BertrandRussell Sat 19-Nov-16 22:08:47


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