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To dislike my step son and brothers friendship?

(9 Posts)
leavesandgrohl Sat 19-Nov-16 12:55:57

I definitely am being unreasonable. I think I know that.

My step son is 17, my brothers are 18 and 19 (both living in our city for university). They met about a year ago at a family event and have gradually become quite close friends. Which is great for helping my step son to feel part of the family, etc etc.

Here's the issue:

My brothers and I have always been close; we have always confided in and covered for each other from our parents/school/etc and I'm the first person they call when they're in trouble, which happens more often than anyone would like.

My step son is my OH's oldest son, he's the age now that my OH was when he was born and my OH is very protective of him. My step son and I have always had more of a friendly relationship than a parental one (due to our relatively small age gap), but obviously I would never hide things from my OH so he could go out partying etc like I have done previously for my brothers.

I know I need to grow up, be responsible and let my brothers have my step son as a friend instead of me (yes, I'm jealous, before anyone says it!) and be a little a lot less involved in their lives. That's why I'm here, I feel I need a bit of a kicking, to be told to suck it up and be a grown up (I'm a mother for christ's sake) but I can't confide in anyone in RL. Nc for this.

SaltyBitch Sat 19-Nov-16 13:01:09

How old are you?

leavesandgrohl Sat 19-Nov-16 13:06:57

I'm in my mid 20s

leavesandgrohl Sat 19-Nov-16 13:07:26

I'm 24

leavesandgrohl Sat 19-Nov-16 13:07:45

Oops, sorry, posted twice

BubbleGumBubble Sat 19-Nov-16 13:11:26

Well you know what you need to do so do it.
See it as a positive that your family has blended so well.
Maybe you need to extend your own friendship circle?

usual Sat 19-Nov-16 13:13:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaltyBitch Sat 19-Nov-16 13:14:44

Ahh with an age gap so small between brothers and step son, there is no wonder it is tricky. They could all easily be your peers in a social sense, and having to take on a 'parental-type' role for someone only 6/7 years junior is very tough indeed.

I second the idea of expanding your own circle. Sometimes distraction is a great tool - if you are just too busy you won't notice the jealousy.

leavesandgrohl Sat 19-Nov-16 14:29:35

Thank you so much for your kind responses so far. I really appreciate it. I moved around a lot as a child so my siblings have been my closest friends for a long time (I have sisters too), but I think you're right about expanding my own social circle. Almost all of my friends currently don't have kids, so making some "Mum friends" will probably help.

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