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Sleep deprivation flip out

(109 Posts)
peardropz Fri 18-Nov-16 07:05:27

Anyone else had these? My dd has never slept great, slept through for the second time in her life night before last, I knew I shouldn't get excited but when she woke up at 1am last night I just flipped out, swore lots (not proud), couldn't get back to sleep cos I was thinking about how tired I'm gonna be when I go back to work in 2 weeks, how I just don't understand how she can do it one day and not the next, how I felt so good yesterday, so much energy, and today I'm gonna be the same haggard grumpy witch I've been for a year. I was tossing and turning angrily and inexplicably furious at my husband who has had numerous full nights sleep since she was born, swore at him a bit (again not proud).

He was telling me to calm down and I was being ridiculous but aibu to have a meltdown like this every now and again? I just need to get it out of my system. I concede that 1am is not the best time.

SarahJane333 Fri 18-Nov-16 07:12:03

It is frustrating and I can totally understand how tired you are (my 11 month old wakes up at least 4 times every night and needs to be bf back to sleep!!)

However swearing and kicking off sounds scary, I hope your dd didn't hear you.

I think you could maybe try and change your mindset, remind yourself that babies are designed to wake up frequently, they have small stomachs, they need cuddles, etc. Who decided a 1 year old should sleep for 12 straight hours? I find it easier to have her in bed with us after the first time she wakes up, at least then we're not up and down all night. Remember this will pass, this is a small part of your life. My 6 year old hasn't woken in the night for years, unless he's ill.

GoofyTheHero Fri 18-Nov-16 07:13:57

Yes I've had this. My 3 year old still doesn't sleep through. DH takes over on these nights!

GoofyTheHero Fri 18-Nov-16 07:14:42

Meant to say I don't do it in front of the children, I just rant a bit at DH!

MoonlightMedicine Fri 18-Nov-16 07:16:08

I'm 6 years into this (2 non sleeping children) and have had several similar episodes on the worst nights. It's bloody hard OP, I feel your pain.

WordGetsAround Fri 18-Nov-16 07:17:26

There is absolutely no need for a 6 month + baby to wake frequently in the night. If you're that tired you need to come up with a plan to sleep train. Martyr yourself if you want to, but it's a choice.

BingBongBingBong Fri 18-Nov-16 07:18:30

I can relate to this, but it turned out I had pretty bad PND, which I think was caused by the sleep deprivation. Anti depressants have helped me cope massively with the sleepless nights. It's hard to explain but I was so focused on sleep because of my PND but the drugs made me feel more balanced about it I suppose. Not suggesting you have PND but that could be an avenue to explore - sleep deprivation is a fucking nightmare (my son was an awful sleeper for the first year or so) flowers

peardropz Fri 18-Nov-16 07:18:44

No I'd never do it in front of dd so that's why dh gets it blush

peardropz Fri 18-Nov-16 07:19:17

Oh sod off worldgetsaround grin

WordGetsAround Fri 18-Nov-16 07:19:26

Sorry - that response reads a bit harshly now - it was in reply to PP saying why should we expect a nearly 1 year old to sleep through? Well, I would. And I wouldn't be feeding back to sleep numerous times a night.

WordGetsAround Fri 18-Nov-16 07:20:16

Fair enough! smile

paddlenorapaddle Fri 18-Nov-16 07:22:27

I have there's a reason why sleep deprivation is a method of torture

Hand the baby to your OH and get some sleep

Our worst arguments are from when we are both incredibly tired

Babytalkobsession Fri 18-Nov-16 07:23:25

I've totally been there with my first who didn't sleep much day or night. I got so ill and hated life most of the time. I was probably depressed on reflection. Second DS is only 5 months so I'm still ok with night wakes (especially as ds1 at 3 years old mainly sleeps through now!!)

YANBU if it helps. My husband never understood the crippling tiredness I felt all the time & I was full of resentment for him. I think just a bit of sympathy can make you feel better! In the end I paid a sleep consultant- she told me things I already knew but I was so muddled was putting them into practice.

I really hope you get some sleep soon. You are doing a great job. You might find going back to work better for many reasons: coffee, dc might sleep better as will be tired out from nursery, plus you will have had a break from dc so it doesn't feel so relentless!


lozengeoflove Fri 18-Nov-16 07:23:51

I beg to differ word. Lots of reasons why babies and toddlers wake frequently: teething, reaching and practising developmental milestones, growth spurts, growing pains, night terrors...

I feel your pain OP. Sleep deprivation is a terrible type of torture. Children doth murder sleep here too!

peardropz Fri 18-Nov-16 07:24:09

Thanks all, I'm honestly fine most of the time, lots of coffee and I generally have a nap when she naps which helps a lot, I know it's within the realms of normal to wake up at this age, I remember having unexplained sleepless nights before I had her so it's not like it's just babies! Also she did some massive farts when I went in to see her so perhaps something she ate yesterday disagreed with her.

Anyway I just felt such tired despair when she woke last night after the night before's blissful sleep! I've apologised to dh.

drivingmisspotty Fri 18-Nov-16 07:25:36

Oh I have definitely felt like this. Had broken sleep for about 2.5 yrs with youngest. Yes, SarahJane is right they are built to wake up etc and 99% of time I could realise this and be calm but sometimes I would just feel the rage! Especially at DP sleeping peacefully next to me but also I must admit towards DS. I probably did speak and angry word* to DS once or twice which is also not my proudest moment and also completely futile or even counter productive. But I'm human and not perfect. Just try and have an easy day and an early night tonight and hopefully you will feel better.

*To clarify not shouting at my baby or anything, more irritated 'ffs why won't you sleep? Just go to sleep!' he doesn't seem to remember any of the swear words now!

Trifleorbust Fri 18-Nov-16 07:27:08

I'd expect a 1 year old to sleep through as well. It's not about there being a law that they have to hmm It's about having to function in day-to-day life - all very well saying they need cuddles in the night but you need to sleep as well. I would be sleep training.

peardropz Fri 18-Nov-16 07:31:16

She can self settle, and often does so during the night so I'm pretty sure when she can't it's for a reason. Anyway I'm not looking for sleep training tips but thanks anyway.

PeachBellini123 Fri 18-Nov-16 07:36:51

Have you got grandparents or someone who'd have her for the night to give you a break? We started looking aftet DN once a week for the same reason. My SIL said it saved her sanity.

scallopsrgreat Fri 18-Nov-16 07:53:17

Peardropz why is your husband not supporting you more? Why is he not the one getting up when clearly you are at the end of your tether (completely understandably)?

And 1 yr olds not sleeping through isn't unusual at all. Not sure why people are piling that pressure on to you.

ohtheholidays Fri 18-Nov-16 08:00:08

It's hard when your running on broken sleep all the time,how come your DH doesn't help in the night as well?

Does he know he's going to have to when your back at work?

5DC here and my best sleepers were our 3rd DC and 4th DC,our youngest DD9 still sleeps like a newborn most nights,she's disabled bless her but the lack of sleep can be torture for me and my DH,we do the lack of sleep between us,I think you have to otherwise one of you can become resentful of the other one.

FatimaLovesBread Fri 18-Nov-16 08:00:56

Sympathies OP. I have nights where wake ups don't bother me followed by nights where I feel like they're doing it just to taunt me.

Not sure about saying one year olds should be sleeping through. I'm 30 and I quite often don't sleep through, I need a drink or a wee or sometimes just wake up and lay there. Obviously the difference is I don't need someone to get me back to sleep, but it will come in time

peardropz Fri 18-Nov-16 08:02:24

Ok the reason he doesn't get up is because I bf her back to sleep, I didn't want to mention that cos I know I know people will tell me that I should stop. And I know! I think we're ready to try and nightwean again now and he's happy to help. Whenever we've tried to do it before she kicks off so much, and it's just been the easiest short term option.

toptoe Fri 18-Nov-16 08:03:21

Take it in turns getting up in the night with her.

HurricaneSwallows Fri 18-Nov-16 08:03:31

I can relate aswell! Don't beat yourself up! It happens! Sleep deprivation is hard to deal with. Everyone loses it from time to time.

Word what a load of rubbish. What's your excuse for being a twat this morning?

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