My mum has a terminal illness, the doctors have said she could have a year or 2. There is only my sister and I and my dad (mum and dad are separated but are on friendly terms, but my dad doesn't keep that well himself).
Now a bit of a background, I love my mum, dad and sister but I'm not close to them, never have been. It's always been the 3 of them, it's me who has distanced myself from them (mum and dad were/are alcoholics).
I was devestated when my mum was diagnosed with her illness, but my world didn't stop like it did for my sister.
I have been going down to see mum everyday making her lunch and I usually sit for about 3 hours and my sister goes to see her after work to take her dinner.
I am a foster carer so I am at home when the children (my own and FC) are at school.
Going down everyday is starting to take its toll on me and the past couple of weeks there would be one day a week when I wouldn't go down. At the weekend, I didn't go down on Saturday because I was at a training course then I was going out for dinner, however, I became ill on Saturday early evening, and was still ill on Sunday so I didn't manage down at the weekend at all.
The hassle I received from my sister IMO was ridiculous. She started going on about how she knows I have no time for any of them, it's terrible that I don't go down everyday, if I can't manage down during the day I should go down at night.
Although mum has a terminal illness, she can actually manage the odd day here and there herself and even my dad has said she doesn't need someone to go down everyday BUT he won't say this to my sister to keep the peace.
Because I'm going down everyday the housework is slipping, the kids aren't getting the most nutritious dinners most days. At the weekends I go down later afternoon/early evening so can't plan to do anything with the children. I think my sister thinks I just sit on my arse everyday and do nothing (I do sometimes do this but not all the time).
DSis just doesn't get that my "job" can be stressful sometimes, that I have to keep my house up to a certain standard. Once I've dropped the kids off at school it's back to the house to clean up the breakfast dishes, take the dogs out, grab a quick breakfast for myself then it's down to see mum, by the time I leave her it's back home to take the dogs out again, then it's time to get the kids, take them to their clubs, then home to make shitty dinners for them. Sometimes the only thing I get to eat is a yogurt in the morning and I dint get to eat anything until later in the evening.
I hate confrontation with family members and I'm trying so hard to keep everything together for my mums sake, and also because Christmas is coming up and we will all be spending it together and I just can't be bothered with the agro.
So is it me. Am I the one being unreasonable?
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3 replies
Battendownthehatches · 16/11/2016 23:51
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