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AIBU to report my son for 'tuckshop selling'

(250 Posts)
marl Wed 16-Nov-16 20:37:00

Have just found a huge stash of chocolate under DS's duvet. It transpires he is making a good £20 a week by selling this at school which is against the school rules. His argument is 'the school don't care...one boy was caught to his knowledge and he was just 'told off'...and he 'doesn't see the problem'. As part of a small catalogue of teenagerish behaviours that have been escalating in the last 2 weeks, IDP and I are now too tired to be clear-thinking.

I recognise this is not exactly class A drugs, and some people might praise entrepreneurship. But I feel uncomfortable about it : 1. if he gets caught the principle is that 'I knew' so by letting him carry on I am condoning it. 2. I wondered why he was suddenly being a flash harry with cash - he has that over-confident tendency to talk about things that I think of as luxuries as being 'cheap' which doesn't feel great. He lives another very affluent life every other weekend with ex-h. 3. He has a £30 a month allowance to include phone top up. I remove some of it occasionally as a punishment. Obv now this holds now sway at all. 4. I don't think it's a great idea to be feeding crap to your 'friends'

WWYD? Remove his allowance on that basis that he no longer needs it? Talk to the school and get them to catch him..with the risk that I continue to be the 'poor parent' in his eyes if he realises it's me? Leave him to get on with it? I didn't get very far in talking about it with him - he remains condescending and scornful which is the norm at the moment.

Though of course, the upside is, as things stand, I now have a cupboard very full of chocolate :-)

Sweets101 Wed 16-Nov-16 20:38:10

How old is he?

allthatnonsense Wed 16-Nov-16 20:39:08

How old is he?

If ten, not good.

If fifteen, just be glad it's not drugs.

JellyBelli Wed 16-Nov-16 20:39:57

You can't take the chocolate and keep it for yourself without being a massive hypocrite.

ProudBadMum Wed 16-Nov-16 20:40:31

I know a few kids that do this. My brother used to go home bargains then sell stuff at school

I don't see an issue with it as long as they accept any consequence if they get caught

BratFarrarsPony Wed 16-Nov-16 20:41:21

I think you should congratulate him for being a good entrepreneur and offer to get him a job lot of chocolate from Amazon and up his allowance...smile

7SunshineSeven7 Wed 16-Nov-16 20:42:06

No way! He's being so ingenuity! He's not hurting anyone and making his own money. As long as he knows he has to accept the punishment if he gets caught what's wrong with it? A lad used to this in our school and saved enough to buy his own car by the end of high school grin

BratFarrarsPony Wed 16-Nov-16 20:43:25

When my son was 10 he was buying old shillings from the local junk shop and selling them for a pound in the playground.....smile that went down like a sack of shit I can tell you...

yoowhoo Wed 16-Nov-16 20:44:23

This reminds me of being back in school haha. A boy used to buy packs of 4 crunchie bars for £1 and he'd sell them for 50p each! I thought it was clever! I see some of your points though. But really... worried about the crap he's feeding his friends? Is he a teen? They control what they eat at that age

7SunshineSeven7 Wed 16-Nov-16 20:44:36

*Ingenuitive haha!

dybil Wed 16-Nov-16 20:44:58

I had a couple of friends who used to do this. Occasionally they got caught and told off, but the school were pretty ambivalent (that isn't to say all schools will always be as laid back).

I'd just tell him not to do it anymore tbh. Maybe threaten to report it to the school if he continues.

peachesandcreamdream Wed 16-Nov-16 20:45:00

This is the problem with schools going crazy over health these days.

It's like the prohibition era! If they just sold it to children it would be fine...just like it was for years and years.

Schools going bloody mental over a chomp and a bag of tangy toms 🙄

How is he procuring the chocolate? With the £30 allowance?

Be reasonable and ask him stop and if he doesn't.....

Ask for a cut of the profit to buy your silence grin

I'm joking...YANBU.

luckylucky24 Wed 16-Nov-16 20:45:16

I would let it go but reduce his allowance maybe. He can obviously afford his own phone at least.
When I was at school the trend was selling cigarettes. At least he isn't doing that!

marl Wed 16-Nov-16 20:45:18

He's fifteen, so yes I recognise it could be a lot worse!

Thatwaslulu Wed 16-Nov-16 20:45:47

My lad used to do this - he would go to Farmfoods on the way to school, stock up with cheap coke and energy drinks, and then sell them in his breaks. As long as he didn't ask me for the cash for supplies I left him to it.

IAmNotAWitch Wed 16-Nov-16 20:46:35

My 8 year old collected the free cards that a supermarket was giving out and sold the 'rare' ones at school.

I was impressed.

I told him if he got in trouble he would have to wear it. But I couldn't actually see a problem with what he was doing.

UterusUterusGhali Wed 16-Nov-16 20:46:49

I'm sure this is how Alan Sugar started...

TiggyD Wed 16-Nov-16 20:47:05

Why not persuade him to offer fruit as well?

MooPointCowsOpinion Wed 16-Nov-16 20:47:20

Please do put a stop to it, to show support for the school rules. He has made his own money this month, so no pocket money needed, he can pay his own phone bill with it. Chocolate is his, but he can keep it in the kitchen where food belongs.

School informed that you've discovered what he's been doing, punished accordingly, and they are then warned if he tries to do it again.

I wouldn't go mad at him, it's not a big deal, but he needs to follow school rules. The impact on the school is increased rubbish, arguments over who's got what and teachers wasting time telling kids off for eating in class, kids having half melted chocolate in bags/pockets making a mess. All small things but a bit annoying to have to deal with in a school when there's so much else to be done. I would ask him if he can see why the school has the rule, and why we have rules in general in the workplace, in social situations, in everything. It's all about making thing easier, more harmonious, for everyone. Some rules can and should be challenged of course but this school rule has plenty of reasons to back it up.

BratFarrarsPony Wed 16-Nov-16 20:48:32

" I would ask him if he can see why the school has the rule "

- what rule?

Hassled Wed 16-Nov-16 20:48:59

I am quite admiring of his entrepreneurial skills but I do appreciate quite how irritating an arrogant teenager who is now flash with cash must be. And as you say, you effectively now have no muscle with regard to "earning" his allowance.
If you alerted the school, how much would they care? Could they pretend to stumble across the selling operation, rather than revealing you grassed him up?
What does his father think/know? This is the sort of time where having parents who are both in agreement is really important - can you get him on board?
The selling junk to his friends thing is a non-issue; they're choosing to buy it and as you say, it's not Class As. And I agree you can't keep the stash yourself. Except maybe one bar.

IEatCannibals Wed 16-Nov-16 20:49:17

I would leave him to it.

Hassled Wed 16-Nov-16 20:50:08

Also - does anyone remember Gregory's Girl, where they sold pastries and eclairs out of the boys' toilets? I had a ridiculous crush on top pastry-chef boy.

Onemorewonthurt Wed 16-Nov-16 20:50:35

YABU

Instead of taking his stuff and reprimanding him for it why not explain why it's not a good idea to do it at school, then some spend time helping him come up with a better way of making some money.

Try and turn this into something positive

marl Wed 16-Nov-16 20:51:30

TiggyD love that. I can see him with a bag full of brown bananas after a bus ride to school. Then I would be blamed for the 'losses'! UterusUterusGhali yes exactly - can't bear the man - maybe it's me.

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