Towards my 'D'F?

(7 Posts)
LoonyLunaLovegood Wed 16-Nov-16 18:48:26

My dad smokes cigars, always has and probably always will, he always smokes in the house and has done ever since I was a baby. He smokes around my 4 year old niece & has no disregard for anyone else and refuses to smoke outside as it's cold (even if is summer).

Lately I've come to resent him for it as he doesn't care that he's endangering us as well as him. My DM will always make excuses for him as if he doesn't get his way he'll strop and have a hissy fit so she gives in. He's had a heart scare but he just won't stop.

Mum hates that we don't get on. It's got a lot worse since I moved back home (can't afford to move out again) but I can't stomach when he is so flippant about our health as well as his. Every time he sees the doctor he tells them he's stopped and gets more tablets which pisses me off as they get shoved in a drawer and cost the NHS money for no reason!

Do I need to just be more patient with him? I can't tell if I'm blinded by resentment or if he is just being a dick! Sorry for the rambling!

pipsqueak25 Wed 16-Nov-16 19:02:27

it is massively unfair on everyone around him, but when he is in his own home, it is his choice where he smokes, would dm use plug in air freshners to help clear the air ? this doesn't help your health but it might smell better, as far as his tablets go, gps are aware thar patients aren't always truthful about smoking and drinking habits but they won't generally 'rock the boat' his clothes will probably smell anyway, so no doubt gp takes the 'i don't smoke 'with a pinch of salt anyhow. is there any chance you can move in the near future ? or at least plan ahead for a future date ?

LoonyLunaLovegood Wed 16-Nov-16 19:07:45

No air fresheners no, I think it's got worse for me since they came back off holiday & I notice it more again. Where I live is really expensive and rent for a 1 bed is over a grand which is more than I get paid (I work in the NHS) & even the cheaper places surrounding are really pricey. I had a flat with a friend who left after a month without paying the rent and the estate agents wouldn't let me move out so I'm in £2000 debt from that. I think I just need to suck it up!

Justmuddlingalong Wed 16-Nov-16 19:09:09

I would have a hissy fit if I one of my kids moved back home and dictated what I could and couldn't do in my own home.

pipsqueak25 Wed 16-Nov-16 19:12:28

just with you on that one, but i think op is more concerned about df's health and those around him. passive smoking isn't good.

HammersWidow Wed 16-Nov-16 19:12:31

You just have to suck it up I'm afraid. Literally grin

RebelRogue Wed 16-Nov-16 19:37:16

It's his home. Your mum has a choice of asking him to stop or put up with it. You're niece's parents have a choice of asking him not to smoke,keep visits short or not visit. You have a choice of putting up with it or moving out. He might be a selfish twat,but he's a selfish twat in his own home.

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