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About friends cancelling my leaving meal

(51 Posts)
applesandpears86 Wed 16-Nov-16 18:08:17

I've lived in this city for 4 years. On Saturday I am moving away to start a new job in a city where I know a handful of people.

This week I've arranged to see different groups of friends each night, to fit them around each other before I leave.

The group I'm supposed to be seeing tonight have all cancelled on me just now; one can't get a babysitter and one has to go to the gym because she didn't go yesterday or this morning.

I've also been seeing a guy for 8 months and this morning we said our goodbyes (don't want long distance), my house is getting packed up and I just feel scared and nervous.

AIBU to feel really upset about this and the fact that none of them seem to understand why?

SeaCabbage Wed 16-Nov-16 18:11:35

Well the one who has to go to the gym is obviously a cow so nothing lost there.

YANBU to feel upset but if you have a few groups to get around to, maybe a night relaxing would be nice instead.

Good luck with the move!

MrsHathaway Wed 16-Nov-16 18:12:00

It's completely normal to feel twitchy about making such a big move.

The group I'm supposed to be seeing tonight have all cancelled on me just now; one can't get a babysitter and one has to go to the gym because she didn't go yesterday or this morning.

That gym excuse is dreadful, but babysitters can be like gold dust so I'd be inclined to believe her. Could you reply "shall I pop round with Prosecco and Maltesers then? Would hate not to see you before I go"?

RichardBucket Wed 16-Nov-16 18:12:05

Aw. I'd be scared and nervous too, you poor thing. Assuming all the other meet ups have been going well?

As for these two... The one who can't get a babysitter - depends if she just didn't bother to sort it, or if plans fell through. Assuming the latter, she isn't being unreasonable. She can't exactly leave the child alone.

Needs to go the to gym - hmm That woman is no friend of yours.

peachesandcreamdream Wed 16-Nov-16 18:12:28

Had to go to the gym?

You're well shot of that friend and id be telling her that.

What a cock.

Smartleatherbag Wed 16-Nov-16 18:12:51

The gym? That's ridiculous. Babysitter is fair.
Good luck

applesandpears86 Wed 16-Nov-16 18:15:06

Well she is trying to join the forces and has a fitness test coming up in the end of January so she 'needs to get her priorities straight'. She obviously had every other evening and morning to go to the gym.

Suggested going round instead but thats not popular...

chicaguapa Wed 16-Nov-16 18:16:13

The best bit about moving away is that you find out which friends were worth keeping. Time will tell whether these are.

Good luck with the move!

MrsHathaway Wed 16-Nov-16 18:17:10

Tempted to say good riddance then.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut Wed 16-Nov-16 18:19:33

Gym woman is an almighty cunt.

Babysitting reason is fair enough but not wanting you to pop round is a bit mean.

Still, two less Christmas cards to send this year smile

SuperPug Wed 16-Nov-16 18:22:30

Don't think you're missing much with them!
Had similar issues with a leaving do, one supremely selfish "friend" had to arrange a beauty appointment then, despite semi planning it and knowing the time hmm
Good luck with everything, there are better people out there to be friends with.

ninnypoo Wed 16-Nov-16 18:24:58

At least you know where gym bitch's priorities lie!

If it's any condolence, I've lived in my current city for 4 years. I'll be moving in the summer and when I do I'll have about 2 people to say goodbye to blush.. so the fact that you have made so many friends in this time shows you will have no trouble settling somewhere new.

JustSpeakSense Wed 16-Nov-16 18:25:19

Gym lady is a bitch!

Good luck with your move, and to quote Dr Seuss: 'You're off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, So... get on your way!'

Herecomedanotherone Wed 16-Nov-16 18:25:24

Are you sure they haven't arranged some sort of surprise for you? We arranged a surprise 'do'fir a friend once and part of the set up was that all friends except one cancelled on a night out, then I 'persuaded' her to come out with just me to a different venue. I'm sure you can guess the rest. Suffice to say, she had a wonderful time and it was the source of many happy memories for her. Any chance your friends could have something up their sleeves?

blueturtle6 Wed 16-Nov-16 18:40:38

The babysitter is mean with no invite round, if you were my friend and baby sitter had fallen through I'd bite your hand off. Prosecco and maltesers sound fab.
Gym friend is a bee with an itch.
Good luck with move and new friends

Obsidian77 Wed 16-Nov-16 18:41:23

Exactly what chicaguapa find out which friends are worth keeping. I'll always treasure the friends who made an effort in such circumstances. Gym chick is actually doing you the favour of letting you know you don't need to waste any more time or energy on her.
Best wishes with your new start, it'll all work out.

2kids2dogsnosense Wed 16-Nov-16 18:43:46

Well the one who has to go to the gym is obviously a cow so nothing lost there.


YelloDraw Wed 16-Nov-16 18:45:57

+1 for inviting yourself round to babysitting friends house

BalloonSlayer Wed 16-Nov-16 19:05:31

Oh God don't start saying "well maybe they've planned a surprise." That just makes it 1000 times worse when it turns out they haven't because they are shit friends.

stopfuckingshoutingatme Wed 16-Nov-16 19:16:12

Gym bitch indeed !

Onwards and upwards OP

MusterTheRohirim Wed 16-Nov-16 19:25:11

Good luck with the move, it sounds exciting. I hope gym friend fell off the treadmill and looked a tit grin

AnchorDownDeepBreath Wed 16-Nov-16 19:25:31

Moving is difficult, and one of the worst parts is that it shows you who your true friends are - often before you go, as you've found out. Unfortunately it doesn't look like the gym friend will rate your friendship once you're not conveniently located anymore. Babysitter friend might.

I hope the rest of your friends come through, and that the move goes well. I've moved a few times now and it's always hard, but there's a freshness in starting again, and it's a good opportunity to re-evaluate everyone you put effort into.

applesandpears86 Fri 18-Nov-16 13:59:35

Well... offered to go over to gym friend's house last night after dinner with another friend (not late - around 7pm) but she was going to the gym again.

Today she has a day off work but is 'busy' getting ready for a date - the whole day apparently!

Looks like I know who my friends are now...

Feilin Fri 18-Nov-16 14:23:40

That's a disgrace . I'd be saying something at the very least to "gym bitch"
That's the kind of "friend" no one needs.

toffeeboffin Fri 18-Nov-16 14:24:52

Sounds like you're best off well rid.

Good luck in the new city!

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