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AIBU to stop breastfeeding?

(21 Posts)
Toofondofcake Wed 16-Nov-16 03:59:33

Or maybe to be dithering about over stopping breastfeeding?
Baby is almost 8 months old. Thriving and feeding well, we've had some blips with pain and oversupply but otherwise it's gone great and this is my second baby my older one is 2 and was breastfed til 5 months.

My issue is this, she has never slept any longer than 3 hours and it's usually 90 mins. I am exhausted. She screams if I don't settle with the breast and since I don't want to wake her DD2 I just feed her to make things simpler. I know formula will not necessarily make her sleep but I'll be able to take turns with DH at least. She also co-sleeps because I am too exhausted to sit up in the chair during the night to feed and resettle her and then get her back in her cot. As a result I have a really bad back from sleeping uncomfortably.

Basically I'm running on nothing and need to make a decision but I'm dithering because I emotionally love breastfeeding and love the daytime convenience of it.
I think I need someone objective to tell me what to do. Also I'm aware it's 4am and nobody will respond probably.

bikingintherain Wed 16-Nov-16 04:02:52

How about trying mixed feeding? Then you can still be during the day, and even some at night, but DH takes some of the other feeds with a bottle? It's a kind of half way house?

Will your baby take a bottle do you know?

bikingintherain Wed 16-Nov-16 04:03:16

How about trying mixed feeding? Then you can still be during the day, and even some at night, but DH takes some of the other feeds with a bottle? It's a kind of half way house?

Will your baby take a bottle do you know?

Moomoomango Wed 16-Nov-16 04:09:04

At this stage changing the milk is unlikely to change sleep patterns - I would look at gentle sleep training methods or perhaps night weaning where you only offer water and a cuddles. In a few days or weeks baby will sleep much better x

pikapoo Wed 16-Nov-16 04:09:38

I know it's not everyone's cup of tea and you also have DD1's sleep to consider, but if she's waking that often at night then it may be worth doing some sleep training (doesn't have to be CIO or controlled crying, there are gentler methods) - to help you get a better night's sleep and save your back.

Eg My DS is 6 months and until last month I never thought he'd fall asleep at bedtime without being fed to sleep. Some very gentle sleep training has helped him fall asleep by himself these days and as a result he's actually waking up less times at night.

Toofondofcake Wed 16-Nov-16 04:09:49

Thank you for replying! Baby isn't keen on bottles which had held us back so far but we are working on it and she drank about 2oz from a bottle today.
I'm torn and it feels like a love hate relationship now.

mamatiger2016 Wed 16-Nov-16 04:10:02

Is your little one EBF or are you weaning as well?

Toofondofcake Wed 16-Nov-16 04:11:30

Also I am reading the no cry sleep solution but I'm waiting until I can get DD1 to sleep out at my mothers before starting to use it as baby screams the house down at the moment of not fed to sleep.

pikapoo Wed 16-Nov-16 04:12:35

And I think YANBU for considering switching to formula (I too love the convenience of BF) but as PP said, it may not change her sleep pattern and you may find yourself still waking when she does, even if it's your DH's turn to feed her.

abigwideworld Wed 16-Nov-16 04:13:56

YANBU. BF is really really hard because no one else can do the night feeds sad we're considering switching to bottles at only two weeks for the same reason

Toofondofcake Wed 16-Nov-16 04:14:56

I know I know I'm just at my wits end sad.

I wish that I could take charge of the sleep situation but I feel like I have to do the easiest option so as to avoid waking DH and DD1. I'm being a right wuss about it all.

sleepy16 Wed 16-Nov-16 04:26:13

I'm thinking the same although my dd is 10 months, I have just had my second (in 6 weeks) mastitis and it's made me really poorly.
Also she doesn't sleep more then two hours at a time and like your baby wakes up and wants feeding.
She won't take a bottle (tried every bottle going) or any beakers.
It's exhausting it really is.

pikapoo Wed 16-Nov-16 04:26:16

OP - don't be hard on yourself, it's tough when our LOs are EBF and won't sleep for long stretches at night (I'm awake at this silly o' clock because DS won't go back to sleep!!)

As a stop-gap measure, have you tried the dummy for resettling her at night?

DesignedForLife Wed 16-Nov-16 05:16:02

Can you get you DH to try and settle her without milk? That's what we did with DD, picked one feed time and that was his turn, no milk, just cuddles, then shushing in the cit. Took a couple days or weeks, but she soon got the idea and dropped that feed and settled herself. Once that one achieved go for next feed. I don't think formula will make her sleep better, but again switch that one feed at a time if it helps you! You can still be during the day.

DesignedForLife Wed 16-Nov-16 05:16:34

*cot hmm

oblada Wed 16-Nov-16 06:30:56

Of course YANBU however make sure you think this through as it is difficult/pretty impossible to switch back to bf. Ff may not help with the sleep at all and think of all you will lose by losing bf (immunity, ease of dealing with childhood illnesses/traumas/stages, ease of dealing with unsettled child, convenience when out and about etc etc). Try some expressed milk maybe or as someone said settling the LO without milk (DH would definitely be better at doing that) and some gentle sleep training if you feel up to it. My 1st daughter woke up 3-4 times per night until she was close to 3yrs old but my DH would deal with a lot of those wakings after a certain point (can't remember exactly when but probably around 8-10months as I went back to work when she was 5.5months and I really do not cope well with broken sleep!)mostly with singing/patting etc to sleep. I then continued to bf her until close to 5yes old.
Also at some point Co sleeping usually becomes much more comfortable. With my 2nd daughter I co-slept and would barely realise if she was feeding at night. I can count on one hand the bad nights I've had with that one!

gamerwidow Wed 16-Nov-16 06:40:27

It might not help the sleep but if you're not enjoying BF anymore and you want to stop then stop. It's a very personal decision that none of us get to make for you.

bikingintherain Wed 16-Nov-16 08:30:11

I think there's a lot of wisdom in what pp posters have said about some gentle sleep training.

My DD (5 months) is ff but after a cold was waking up to 10/15 times a night for a few weeks, DH and I were on our knees. Even though we both shared feeds, you are still shattered, even 2 or 3 is hard.

We decided to first always try and settle her (rubbing tummy, singing etc) and if she woke up again shortly after to feed her. I'm not going to lie, she did cry with it a bit, but after a week or so had gone from 10 night wakings to 1 or 2.

Last night she slept from 7 until 4.30. A few weeks ago that would have sounded impossible.

bikingintherain Wed 16-Nov-16 08:32:18

Oh, and we have two older DC, so we're concerned about waking them, but decided it was worth the risk. But maybe you could set a travel cot up in the living room and transfer the baby when you go to bed just for a few weeks. You could sleep on the couch or set a baby monitor up.

Toofondofcake Wed 16-Nov-16 10:05:06

Thanks for the replies ladies. Finally got her back to sleep at 5:30 last night and toddler was up soon after. Not coping well today I've already been so short tempered with toddler, I really feel like a crappy mother on days like these because I just don't function well.

My DD2 is also a bit of a scratcher and biter so I'm finding feeds less pleasant these days but I know I would be gutted to not be able to comfort feed her when she's upset or unwell. I think we are going to try some gentle sleep training, I know that if I got a couple 4 hour stretches of sleep I'd function and feel like a new woman and probably not resent breastfeeding.

Everyone tells you that the tiny newborn stage is the hardest but I loved that so much and find this long term sleep deprivation so much harder.

oblada Wed 16-Nov-16 20:02:24

Fab!! Good luck smile

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