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Report to school or no?

(16 Posts)
whoppet Tue 15-Nov-16 17:08:20

Name changed as this may ID me. Dd moved schools in September following a serious incident of which she was the victim, on going bullying and lack of sen support.She is very quiet and struggles to fit in and not be isolated. Her previous experience resulted in contacting camhs.

Her new school have been fantastic however she is in someone mixed year nine/year ten classes and she is now having issues with a pupil in the older year.

My dd doesn't see much of this girl apart from the mixed classes but for no apparent reason this child has decided that she doesn't like dd. She has been spreading rumours about DDS sen and telling people that dd gets away with (expected work standard and test score allowed level lower not behaviour wise)

If she has to sit next to dd she won't talk to her or work with her, she tries to force dd to move to a different table away from her friends, she tells dd to move her (the girls) rubbish and when someone stuck up for dd she stormed of crying.

We have just come out of an horrendous time with dd at breaking point so I a aware I may be oversensitive.

I don't want to make a minor issue worse but I am fuming this kid is going to ruin the first time in three years dd has been happy at school.

whoppet Tue 15-Nov-16 17:10:33

Sorry about spelling and grammar. Phone screen is tiny and auto correct on gah.

BoopTheSnoot Tue 15-Nov-16 17:11:01

I'd report it. It's bullying, and I fear that if you left it, things could get worse.

noblegiraffe Tue 15-Nov-16 17:11:37

Yes of course you should report this to the school. At the least teachers can be asked to ensure that the girls are separated from each other, but I would hope that the girl is also spoken to about her unkind behaviour and told to stop it.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Tue 15-Nov-16 17:15:15

Of course you should report. Your dd has been through enough without some kid (i wont write whst i really want to call her) adding to it. Get it stamped out straight away. This is bullying.
God I despise bullies.

whoppet Tue 15-Nov-16 17:22:10

Thanks I am bloody cross to be honest. For the first time in her senior school she is happy and how date they. The kid is 15 ffs and dd is 13 and sen.

I just wanted to check

harderandharder2breathe Tue 15-Nov-16 17:27:35

Report it

Your DD's scores don't affect the other girl in any way! I'm assuming that she's the last person DD would go to if she needed extra help (I could understand some frustration if she was constantly expected to help your DD keep up with the class but still no excuse for bullying).

Don't let your DD feel that she will just always be bullied and put up with it. The teacher can presumably make sure the girls aren't sat together or in the same group in project work etc

whoppet Tue 15-Nov-16 17:56:47

She isn't expected to help dd at all. Small classes and high support staff mean teachers do that.In fact she wont even speak to her anyway.
Dd is on target for A to Cs so but has not massively behind but has extra time to process, extra support (small classes so not an issue) and in this particular lesson less expectation score wise as it is her biggest area of struggle.

whoppet Tue 15-Nov-16 18:01:34

Sorry this tablet has a mind of it's own on predictive typing.

Cary2012 Tue 15-Nov-16 18:01:56

As a KS4 teacher I'm struggling with the idea of 9s and 10s being taught effectively together. The 10s should be on their GCSE path.

However yes, this needs nipping in the bud before it escalates, so definitely report.

Allthebestnamesareused Tue 15-Nov-16 18:04:43

What cary said! How do they teach yr 9s with 10s unless the 9s are taking GCSE early?


youarenotkiddingme Tue 15-Nov-16 18:08:19

Sorry to hear to hear your dd has been through all this. DS and I have have just had a very similar experience (victim of crime, bullying, Sen, Camhs and school move!)

He's still having issues with others kids - I'll be honest it's 50/50 - but I don't agree it's ok they make his life difficult.

What I'm finding is I'm worried about contacting school because of previous incidents - do you feel that?
Can you ask for a meeting just to ask how DD is getting on and how they see the classroom issues? Take it from there?

whoppet Tue 15-Nov-16 19:41:30

With regards to teaching year it is a long story. It is a previous year 10 - 13 school which is in the middle of expanding to take all years. As a result they have taken some year 8 and 9s before 'official' expansion.

The kids start their gcse pathway choices in year nine.
Most classes taught are year nine but there are some lessons were year 9/10 are currently being taught together by ability rather than age.


Part of it is previously school were horrendous victim blamers who did nothing and I'm guessing weren't complimentary about me when dd left as I had made an official complaint so you worry about new school thinking you are 'that' parent.

Have emailed form tutor.

I am in close contact with school and from what I can gather she is brilliantly behaved and the go to pupil for being reliable if you need something done. Always has been.

Teachers are really pleased with her and her form teacher thinks she is great so no issues there.

She does get a lot of attention so maybe it causes a bit of jealousy. I don't know.

All I know is for the last eight weeks she has been happy, no meltdowns and couldn't wait to go back to school after half term so I am gutted.

whoppet Tue 15-Nov-16 19:45:53

By gets more attention I mean she has always been that pupil who struggles social/is quirky and more vulnerable/young for her age so tends to attract more teacher 'parenting' or nurturing than the others.

youarenotkiddingme Tue 15-Nov-16 20:19:02

Omg are you me?!

That's exactly what I worry about! That the old school will have made out its all my fault - plus I've made a complaint!
TBH they made out its all my fault at the time - like I can control what they do, say and Ds autism!

I've discovered a good way in is to say DD is struggling with X interaction and have they any ideas how you can support her. It draws attention to it without getting their backs up!

whoppet Thu 17-Nov-16 07:50:25

Just an update. Seemed to be a case of shit stirring

Someone had told the girl dd had called her a bitch hence the girl not wanting to work with her.

Someone had then spread rumours the girl had been calling dd dumb and stupid due to her sen.

Anyway it has all been sorted and stamped on now hopefully.

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