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To think people need to stop being voices of doom regarding hospital treatment?

(9 Posts)
LunaLoveg00d Tue 15-Nov-16 08:41:01

I'm booked into hospital for a fairly major operation - an abdominal hysterectomy. It's not a secret but I'm not broadcasting the fact, will tell people if they ask.

Yesterday two separate people when told why I wasn't going to be around launched into a great long story about someone they knew who'd had a hysterectomy and was seriously ill / in a lot of pain / took a year to recover / got an infection / was suing the hospital / never the same again.

Is it too much to expect that when you hear someone is having an operation that you limit your comments to something like "Hope it goes well, give me a shout if you need anything"? It's the same when you're pregnant, everyone is falling over themselves to tell you how AWFUL labour is.

kiki22 Tue 15-Nov-16 08:44:21

I had a section 12 weeks ago the hospital staff were all great gave me drugs on time and swapped one I didn't like though it was a hassle and I recovered great. Not everyone has a bad time you will be fine

OhBollocksFuck Tue 15-Nov-16 08:50:58

I totally agree OP.

It's the same with anything in life. I rescued a dog and people were clamouring to tell me horror stories of wayward rescue dogs that savaged entire families unexpectedly.

I'm doing up my house and people are falling over themselves to tell me stories of cowboy builders removing an entire back wall then riding off into the sunset on a white charger whilst the financially crippled family huddle together inside the house to see the winter out.

For most people, most things in life go absolutely fine. It's the very very minority who do have things go wrong that shout the loudest. For understandable reasons.

I also suspect that one person's story gets told many times over making it seem like bad things happen to many more people. So if Gina's operation goes wrong, people who'll re-tell the story will be Gina's husband, mum , sister, best friend, brother, friend from school, colleague etc. so there will end up being several stories floating around but only one actual thing that went wrong. If that makes any sense at all!

You'll be fine. Hope it goes well!

LunaLoveg00d Tue 15-Nov-16 08:58:45

I'm not particularly concerned for myself - I've done a lot of reading and have a lovely friend three doors along who's a nurse and can provide medical care on tap if needed.

I just don't understand why people always love to pass on the most negative things they can think of rather than keep their stories to themselves. Many people are fragile and worried about hospitals or giving birth and these horror stories mustn't help.

OhBollocksFuck Tue 15-Nov-16 09:02:38

I don't understand either. People are either unthinking and uncaring or else are so miserable with their own lives that they can't help it if they spot an opportunity to make someone else worried/miserable.

MatildaTheCat Tue 15-Nov-16 09:03:47

Bit different but when I was pregnant with my first my grandma told me all about her 3 week labour which ended with a huge tear and bleeding so profuse the midwife tied her legs together to staunch the flow. hmm

Luckily I knew better but hey, thanks Grandma. YANBU. Good wishes for a speedy recovery.

ViewBasket Tue 15-Nov-16 09:31:10

If someone starts, smile and say "I'll save listening to the negative stories until afterwards thanks!"

SpuriouserAndSpuriouser Tue 15-Nov-16 09:36:09

I think a lot of people say what they want to say, rather than thinking about what the person they are talking to will feel. They listen to what you say so they can reply, rather than listening to understand. If that makes any sense.

Anyway the reason that these horror stories stick out is because most of the time people go in for their operation, they have the operation, they go home, they recover, and then they carry on with their lives as before. That doesn't make a good story though.

mumonashoestring Tue 15-Nov-16 09:45:01

Oh my god YANBU - I get the rage whenever I hear people start yammering on at expectant mothers about their 36 hour, excruciating back to back labour culminating in a massive tear etc. instead of just saying 'congratulations', or telling someone who has a relative in hospital what a dreadful time their third cousin's best friend had with a sort of similar condition 30 years ago... It's thoughtlessness rather than cruelty in most cases but I don't see anything wrong with interrupting and saying 'nervous enough thanks, don't need to hear any more horror stories' then changing the subject.

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