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DD Sports Anxiety

(24 Posts)
user1479165598 Mon 14-Nov-16 23:28:30

My daughter is anxious about a lot of things at school and has recently been enjoying hockey. She has been doing really well in matches playing in attack and scoring goals. However, the teacher has moved her from attack to defence (where she is no longer socring goals). This has upset her and she takes this to mean that she is no longer deemed to be a key part of the team. I have pointed out that this is just part of being in a team - but my partner thinks that this is something we should raise with the hockey teacher. Personally, I think this is just part of playing team sport and we shold use it as an opportunity to teacher DD that her this is not something to worry abou - however, my partner wants to discuss it with the teacher and I think this just feeds the idea that this kind of issue is important.
Advice? Please!

WorraLiberty Mon 14-Nov-16 23:33:16

I think you're right and hopefully the the teacher will make your partner realise this.

Those who score the goals always get the most 'glory' so it can be difficult for them to understand that every goal scored, involves a team effort.

From the teacher's point of view, they also need to give other kids a chance to try out for various team positions.

Is your DP not into team sports at all?

WorraLiberty Mon 14-Nov-16 23:34:48

And ask her what she means by a 'key part of the team'.

Every team member plays a key part.

But as I said, they just don't get as much glory.

7SunshineSeven7 Mon 14-Nov-16 23:35:47

I agree - its annoying that she has been moved from a position she likes to play but I would think the teacher is going to be moving people around throughout the year to ensure everyone gets a turn. Its probably that someone else's mum has discussed their child being stuck in defense and therefore that child has been swapped positions with yours. She needs to learn she can't be scoring goals all of the time and sometimes she can't get her own way - defense is a good time to learn ball control, turning and blocking.

I do understand her though, I was aggressively competitive in sport - especially hockey. Nothing better than scoring goals for me, loved being CF but in practice we switched up every week, whoever was best in each position was put in that for competitions and we understood why - it worked.

Is she being moved for competitions as well as practice?

ElizaSchuyler Mon 14-Nov-16 23:36:55

Ds is a hockey goalkeeper.

The defence is in my opinion the most important part of the team. At ds's club often some of the stronger, more accurate players are put in defence.

BackforGood Mon 14-Nov-16 23:55:13

I agree with you OP. You continue to explain to your dd that every player in the team is important, and that, if she wants to play a team sport she's likely to find that squads often move people round. My dd plays football - one of the biggest strengths in their team this year, when they've got a smaller squad than last year, is that all of the players are ready and willing to play out of their favourite position, for the good of the team. she will be a better player for having these additional skills to her repertoire. She will not be a popular player if parents going running up to complain because the coach is trying a new formation.

Kanewreck Tue 15-Nov-16 00:23:09

The British Olympic gold medal winning captain played central defence.

lostoldlogin2 Tue 15-Nov-16 00:36:20

Of course you are right. It is indeed just being part of a team and an important lesson. The idea that you should challenge this is insane - your husband is way off!

She needs to be an all rounder. That way when she is old enough and good enough to have a fixed position she knows the tricks of the trade of the other side - if she knows how to defend then she will be a better attacker.

IMissGrannyW Tue 15-Nov-16 00:36:56

My DD plays a different sport, but she was goal-scorer last year, and won an award because she scored so many so often (ARE YOU LISTENING, MN, THAT WAS A VERY SUBTLE STEALTH-BOAST. MIGHT HAVE SLIPPED PAST YOU - SHE WON AN AWARD!!!!!)

Ahem... back to the thread... this year she's in a different age category, and so on a new team in the same club (they're all "A" team members, and she was "B" team last season; and they're playing her in defence. She was gutted. But she VERY quickly realised that the new team's goal scorers are better than she is and they NEED defence players. So she's trying to be the absolute best defence player she can be, because - to her - being an invaluable part of the team is what is most important (did I mention she won an award last year??? None of her new team know, so I'll tell you lot instead, because I wouldn't dream of mentioning it in RL). and this team of top-notch goal scorers (actually, better than DD) (although with less awards) really need defence players.
Being a team player means exactly that.

Topseyt Tue 15-Nov-16 01:56:52

Defence is not a lesser role. Defence is at least as important attack and your DD should take that on board, as should your DH.

The teacher's job is to give all students a good understanding of every aspect of the game, so some swapping around us going to happen, for everyone.

Challenging that is pointless. Your DH will just ensure that he comes across as one of "those" parents.

timeforsomethingnew Tue 15-Nov-16 02:41:23

Don't speak to the coach.

He or she is trying to build the best team and develop the players. No coach is going to move a player just because they ask and they won't do it for a parent either.

If your DD is showing talent, it is a good opportunity to learn how to play in different positions. She also may learn to appreciate the importance of the whole team and good defenders. At a certain age, a few good attacks can win the game by out skilling the opposition. As they mature and come up against better payers and teams with good strategy and tactics, the game is only won by the whole team. Otherwise as soon as it's in the opposition's D the game is lost.

If you want to talk to the coach - you can only say that she is really enjoying hockey and wants to develop and does he or she have and advice or tips for her and what can she work on.

SporkLife Tue 15-Nov-16 02:48:48

How old is dd? But yanbu learning all positions and the role they play is essential in team sports, even if your dd ends up back scoring or starts to enjoy defence and stays there it will be good to know how each position plays and fits into the team, and tell her of course defence is important, need to stop goals getting in!

OzzieFem Tue 15-Nov-16 06:20:47

I was the tallest in my class and always got stuck playing goalkeeper in netball. This I found incredibly boring and was never assigned another position. In the end I just couldn't be bothered trying to save goals. <Hated sports anyway>

VikingVolva Tue 15-Nov-16 06:58:59

How long has she been playing?

Because good coaches will swop people around specifically to try them out in different positions as it is good for development and it helps them find the best team combinations.

I'd be more concerned that she has somehow decided that only scoring matters, not being part of a team. Any idea where she picked that up from?

Scooby20 Tue 15-Nov-16 07:00:28

She plays in a team. She needs to understand that and so does your partner.

KathArtic Tue 15-Nov-16 07:45:38

The British Olympic gold medal winning captain played central defence.

Good point here. Is she leadership material, a 'team' player, encouraging and supporting other members, or is it just about herself and scoring goals?

mudandmayhem01 Tue 15-Nov-16 07:49:32

I think it was the goal keeper who was absolutely pivotal in GB gold medal success.

Scentofwater Tue 15-Nov-16 08:04:48

Where did she get the idea that defence is less important? Maybe she voiced that opinion to her team at some point? (Even if she didn't mean to, she may have upset someone?) Could the coach be trying to show her how important the whole team is?

DamnCommandments Tue 15-Nov-16 08:08:55

Hahahahaha IMissGrannyW!!

sm40 Tue 15-Nov-16 09:13:20

I wouldn't speak to the coach deliberately about this (I.e. Not make a meeting) but if you are at parents evening or see him/her at a match you can ask why she has moved (or get your daughter to ask). Also playing is not just about the glory of goals. My ds has won a few trophies at football recently because he's a good team player and brings everyone together and his coach openly admits he's not the best technical player. She's on the team so she must be good and without her the other team would be scoring more goals!!

ElizaSchuyler Tue 15-Nov-16 09:18:25

*I think it was the goal keeper who was absolutely pivotal in GB gold medal success.*

Absolutely - Maddie Hinch was inspirational.

BackforGood Tue 15-Nov-16 19:20:10


Just for my personal interest, has your dd won any awards for her goal scoring prowess ? wink

IMissGrannyW Thu 17-Nov-16 00:01:31

I'm so glad you asked, BackforGood. She did, indeed, once win a trophy for her goal scoring prowess. Absolutely amazing to us, as when she was born and we realized we had a DD not a DS, we did high-fives in the delivery room because we thought we wouldn't have to spend weekends outside in winter watching sports games.

Sadly, she's taken up a sport that means that is exactly what we have to do.

We keep suggesting flower-arranging, but she won't have it!

BackforGood Thu 17-Nov-16 00:06:39


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