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to not go to my school reunion?

(34 Posts)
Blumkin Mon 14-Nov-16 21:44:38

I hated my very naice school, it was 3 years of utter misery plus 2 years of moderate unhappiness. I was one of the unpopular kids and just don't have many good memories of the place.

I've had an invite to the reunion for leavers including my year group. And I don't want to go. I'm in touch with a few school friends via Facebook, but have no desire to prance around the old dining hall reminiscing about pervert teachers and rugby matches or seeing my old boarding house or admiring the new science block or any of that.

However, I was chatting to a friend who said I should go, just because my life has turned out pretty well. She's picturing an American movie type scene of me strutting in wearing fabulous clothes, smiling with my no longer shit teeth, showing off pictures of my adorable dc and subtly dropping vague hints about my lovely high earning dh. She says I should go just to prove to myself how far I've come since those dark days, and part of me is tempted, however a bigger part of me just feels so 'meh' about the whole thing and I'd just view it as a wasted afternoon plus travel there and back.

Has anyone gone to a reunion and unexpectedly enjoyed it, or should I just leave the past as a distant blur?

rumpelstiltskin43 Mon 14-Nov-16 21:49:02

Ooooo, I'd go and flaunt it!

Awwlookatmybabyspider Mon 14-Nov-16 21:49:05

YNBU. I wouldn't want to go to my school reunion. I hated school. Ive never looked back. I was like a bat out of bloody hell out of there.
Ive have my teeth pulled without anesthetic before I waltzed back in there.

Thatwaslulu Mon 14-Nov-16 21:50:50

I went to mine, and found it tedious and cliquey. It was nice seeing a few old friends I hadn't seen for a while but I felt like the odd one out as I didn't go to uni and everyone else did, and were reminiscing about those days and it all felt a bit forced. I have a great job and a family, but most of the girls there had good careers and no children, particularly not teenagers, so i felt like i was at a different stage in my life. I wouldn't go to another one.

70ontheinside Mon 14-Nov-16 21:50:50

I went to one and realised why I am not in touch with many school friends any more. Haven't bothered again since.
If you don't want to spend time with these people regularly, why bother with a reunion? Meh.

Ohyesiam Mon 14-Nov-16 21:53:11

You say you are not interested n going, so why is it a question?

chatnanny Mon 14-Nov-16 21:56:47

The nosey side of me would like to go just to see who who I remember and how everyone has turned out. It seems to me it depends how much you invest in this, if you go with a light-hearted attitude you may have a fun time. I would go if someone who still lives in the area arranged one. I have been to mini ones and it's true as PP says that you are in touch with the ones which matter - and maybe nothing in common with the rest - but does that matter?

gettingtherequickly Mon 14-Nov-16 21:58:45

Don'the bother, these people mean nothing to you. Why would you want your impress them?

elQuintoConyo Mon 14-Nov-16 21:59:20

Meh indeed.

I have done some fabulous things in the last 20 years, some of it enviable, but am now in a rented house with no job grin

I have kept in contact with those I wanted to and not with others. I felt bitter about school experiences for years but have learnt to just let go. I feel healthier.

nurseinwonderland Mon 14-Nov-16 22:03:05

Didn't go to mine. Was invited via a group chat on FB. The first three people who responded were people who couldn't say a nice word to me at school.
I'm still friendly with my "best" friends from school, we see each other a few times a year. They all went, they didn't really understand my reasons. In the end I was on holiday when it took place so it wasn't an issue.
I keep in touch with the people that matter.

DragonRojo Mon 14-Nov-16 22:06:07

Completely off subject, but "rugby matches"? Did girls use to play rugby at boarding school?

Blumkin Mon 14-Nov-16 22:09:19

I don't think I'll go, it was just my friends insistence that made me question it.

went to mine, and found it tedious and cliquey and I went to one and realised why I am not in touch with many school friends any more. that's how I think I'd end up feeling, I've had no desire to mingle with these people during the last 20 odd years, so why would I now force myself to be jolly around them for a whole afternoon?

The nosey side of me would like to go just to see who who I remember and how everyone has turned out. that is what facebook is for, no?

soundsystem Mon 14-Nov-16 22:09:25

I didn't go to mine. I'm in touch with those I want to be in touch with, and not particularly interested in the others (nor they in me, I wouldn't think!). I had an ok time at school, neither loved it not hated it, but spent most of my time with non-school friends, so didn't particularly feel I had anything to prove. The people who went seemed to be ones who hadn't really moved on/done much since...

Floggingmolly Mon 14-Nov-16 22:09:59

How will showing off in front of people you haven't seen for years (and presumably actively chose not to remain in contact with) prove how far you've come? And to what purpose?
If you need their validation you might be in for a bit of a land when they couldn't care less.
Dropping hints about your high earning DH sounds ridiculously needy.

Blumkin Mon 14-Nov-16 22:11:05

Dragon - it was co ed, grin originally a boys school, but then they opened up a few girls houses.

SaucyJack Mon 14-Nov-16 22:11:20

Don't bother. How long has it been?

I'm sorry to piss on your chips, but someone you haven't seen for 25 years is not going to give that much of a shite about your teeth or your income bracket.

You won't get your big moment. Real life isn't like the movies.

WhatAPigsEar Mon 14-Nov-16 22:16:17

I felt the same way about my school reunion. The only school friend I was still in touch with convinced me to go. TBH most of the girls stuck with their old groups and were as cliquey as I remembered. Yeah I swanned in looking my best with nice clothes, & tales of my exciting career but it was all pretty pointless. Apart from the karma of seeing how drab and grumpy some of the 'cool kids' had become.
Have a nice day out with proper friends instead! thanks

Woodacorn Mon 14-Nov-16 22:17:45

Is there a Facebook reunion party page? Friend everyone. Have a nosey at their statuses. Make sure your own status is suitably informative about your current lifestyle. Once you have seen all you want to on FB unfriend/hide/block them. Don't go to the reunion.

DragonRojo Mon 14-Nov-16 22:22:54

Thank you for the explanation! smile I can sleep now. In answer to your question, I would not go.

SocksRock Mon 14-Nov-16 22:29:59

I wouldn't go. Couldn't be arsed to make the effort for 98% of the people I went to school with. The other 2% I'm still in touch with anyway...

BlackNo1 Mon 14-Nov-16 22:30:20

I didn't go to my school reunion as it involved a trek (possible flight) and I didn't think it was worth going. Then there was another reunion which would have involved an even longer flight. Again, I wasn't eager to justify the effort and expense.

No regrets.

I'm a bit hmm at your friend. Do you think you need to prove anything to yourself?
Go if you want to, not because others tell you to.

Of course if only school reunions could be as enticing as old flames Cusack and Driver, loving it up in Grosse Pointe Blank...

elQuintoConyo Mon 14-Nov-16 22:32:10

Although... You could go along and tell them you invented the Post-it grin

TheProblemOfSusan Mon 14-Nov-16 22:50:18

Can't abide school reunions. It's not the girls particularly - some of them were fine and I'm still friendly - it's the bloody "oh wasn't it such a great school" bollocks. The older I get the more I realise what a number that place did inimitable mental health in the name of education and I couldn't bear to be told how wonderful it was.

TheProblemOfSusan Mon 14-Nov-16 22:52:14

"inimitable" should have been "did a number on". Apparently my phone left school better educated than me.

chipsandpeas Tue 15-Nov-16 18:54:04

id rather stab needles in my eyes than go to a school renunion, i didnt like half the people when i was at school and still wont like them based on what i sometimes see on faebook from the few people from school i am friends with

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