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..to ask if your DH makes friends with EVERYONE

(20 Posts)
ThePeoplesChamp Mon 14-Nov-16 21:34:19

.... and you end up dealing with the fallout ?!?!?!

DH would make friends with a plant pot upon first meeting. Is one of lifes lovely optimists who believes in 'good people' trouble is many people just arent these days and inevitably we get taken advantage of ...or worse.... spend our time dodging and hiding from people he's 'befriended'

Examples

Personal trainer.... £40- a session, I declined as I've been training for years, he got chatting to the guy, decided he would infact enlist him, and committed I would also come along to the session (he charged us both of course!!!). Result - nothing new learnt. Had to spend weeks dodging PT at gym looking to know when we'd next like a booking. DH just avoided the gym altogether.

Holidays - befriends EVERYONE, waiters especially, leading to insane tipping and interrupted meals while waiters do tricks with napkins and flowers. (Romantic eh?) oh and commitments to add on facebook and offers of places to stay when visit UK. (er!?!?!?)

Shop staff - example.... befriended local hardward store owner who now assumptively orders him stuff in for projects he's half mentioned, at 1.5 times the cost of B&Q and we end up buying as too polite to decline. ...or... we hide from the guy in our teeny village

Fella at night class ... offered lift home once, now a weekly thing, also gets collared into ferrying his family around shock

AIBU and an antisocial cow.... or is this a common DH problem?

What the hell?

No, he absolutely doesn't.

I don't understand that at all. I'm all for a bit of chit chat but I can't say that I, my husband or anyone I can think of has made friends with someone they met in the street.

WilliamHerschel Mon 14-Nov-16 21:37:22

My dp is only slightly more sociable than I am and I am very unsociable. He's much better at making small talk etc, but it's not difficult to be better than me.

Although reading your post it sounds a bit like your dh is being taken advantage of by some of these people. Maybe he needs to be a bit more assertive.

usual Mon 14-Nov-16 21:37:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EveryDayIsASchoolDay Mon 14-Nov-16 21:42:42

Nope. Definitely not. My dh and I both like our space, especially on holiday etc. We're very polite but not out for making new besties at every turn. Sounds a bit tiresome op 😢

SpookyPotato Mon 14-Nov-16 21:51:26

No not at all and I'm so glad. We are both friendly to everyone, outgoing, have a laugh but that's where it ends and no-one bothers us. Our time is ours! There are lots of people who take advantage of kind hearts.

NavyandWhite Mon 14-Nov-16 22:00:54

No. He's like me, a bit of an introvert. He's lovely and will chat to people but that's about it.

HomeShapedBox Mon 14-Nov-16 22:07:30

My husband is one of those people who will stand and talk to anyone, when we moved house he made friends with all the neighbours, at work he befriends all the new lads

But, he doesn't actually "hang around" with any of them, he is just very very friendly and can stand around for ages having a good chinwag with people

I am also a very chatty person though, I'm one of them people who, if you start a conversation with me I will talk your head off as if I'd known you for years grin

Nottalotta Mon 14-Nov-16 22:10:09

Nope. Dh is the exact opposite.

noeuf Mon 14-Nov-16 22:17:26

Urgh yes, dh has a special 'working class geezer' voice he uses for befriending people on the phone or in shops.
The kids and I just look at him like hmm

SuperPug Mon 14-Nov-16 22:22:39

Sorry OP, this would drive me crazy. Good to help others out when you can but this is costing you money and your free time.
Shop and night class guy are massively taking advantage of your DH and it seems that DH runs away from silly decisions- you need to speak about this and also make sure he gets you out of difficult situations.

amicissimma Mon 14-Nov-16 22:33:42

I wouldn't call what you describe as 'making friends'. For me friendship is a two-way process.

DH and I are both friendly towards everyone we meet. We take an interest in them and sometimes that develops into a closer friendship and sometimes we remain friendly acquaintances. Some people we never see again.

For example, we could chat to a PT without feeling the need to sign up with him, and we tend to find out a little about the lives of waiters we see regularly on a holiday, without feeling the need to tip them any more than we would otherwise. We can offer a one-off lift to someone if it works on that occasion but say 'no, sorry; can't take you today' another time. I, more than DH, am on friendly terms with several shop owners locally, in that I have sympathised with them over a difficult customer, or a worrying child situation or something. Again, I just buy what I what from them; it doesn't affect the way I shop.

CigarsofthePharoahs Mon 14-Nov-16 22:38:16

Having read the op I am glad I am married to a misanthrope. He never seems to make friends with anyone.
Well perhaps that's an exaggeration, but I think both DH and I have resting bitch face.

Aroundtheworldandback Mon 14-Nov-16 23:18:16

Op you are describing my dh. On our first holiday we were standing in a taxi queue and within 5 minutes he'd befriended the entire queue and started a group conversation. That evening I saw him chatting up a bar waitress in front of me. If it was another guy I'd have been shocked, but by this time the penny had dropped and I just found it amusing. He will and does talk to anyone.

I'm the opposite, an introvert who likes my peace. Whereas I enjoy the company of friends, I re-charge by being alone for a bit, whereas he loves people around 24/7. He thinks I'm unfriendly.

He's also insanely generous and gets taken full advantage of by many family members and friends. Although he's a lovely guy, I actually think life's easier if you share similar traits to your partner.

Oatsinajar Mon 14-Nov-16 23:21:10

Yes my DP is like this. Gives away stuff for free as well. It does irritate me, but makes me love him more too

LookingGoodForTheLassies Mon 14-Nov-16 23:23:19

That's not simply making friends, that's not being assertive enough and letting folk take the piss.

ArmySal Mon 14-Nov-16 23:23:27

Yes, he's very sociable, absolute opposite to me.

iminshock Mon 14-Nov-16 23:39:30

My dp is the same.
Love him

iminshock Mon 14-Nov-16 23:39:58

And actually I used to be too, but not any more

FlyingElbows Mon 14-Nov-16 23:41:49

Mr Elbows will talk to anyone. I hate everyone. We are an odd couple.

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