How long does it take you to have a poo??

(37 Posts)
Warl Mon 14-Nov-16 18:50:49

Just that really. If you are an adult without any illness or condition that could make a bowel movement troublesome, how long does it take you to have a poo??

I'd say it takes me 5 minutes at an absolute maximum but DH can take anywhere from 20 minutes to half an hour.

Usually he feels the need to go at the most inconvenient time for me, generally when I'm trying to finish cooking or plate up meals & then I have to contend with the feral toddler too.

AIBU to wonder why it takes him longer to have a poo than it takes me to commute to work??

NavyandWhite Mon 14-Nov-16 18:56:24

Ffs its dinner time 💩😩

2cats2many Mon 14-Nov-16 18:59:24

Your DH needs to drink more water and eat some dried apricots. Unless of course he's just in there checking Facebook.

CantChoose Mon 14-Nov-16 18:59:36

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2767540-Doctors-nurses-HCPs-AIBU-to-ask-you-about-male-female-bowel-movements

you are not alone!

Halloweensnake Mon 14-Nov-16 19:00:22

They enjoy it,peace and quiet,a book,or just contemplate their navel.some people find enjoyment in all kinds of places others do not..who are we to spoil their fun..

Warl Mon 14-Nov-16 19:01:21

Oh I'd missed that one CantChoose. At least it's not just me then confused

mamajen1706 Mon 14-Nov-16 19:01:47

My husband is same and always during mealtimes and in the rare time with the dc's in the day. So frigging frustrating. I have to try and go in 2 mins while my littlest one is happy to be left in her bed/ chair and with constant interruptions of "mummy mummy" from my eldest

Halloweensnake Mon 14-Nov-16 19:02:55

Being devils advocate a bit,,maybe he dosnt like what you've cooked that day,and hopes the longer he stays in the carsi the more likely it will be ruined or eaten🤓Toodle pip

ForalltheSaints Mon 14-Nov-16 19:03:00

I suspect that the toilet is not being used just for a number 2 as it were.

PinkiePiesCupcakes Mon 14-Nov-16 19:03:24

An average time of 23.6minutes.
Shortest: 3.4minutes,
Longest: 1hr13minutes34seconds.

I oknow because my GF timed me for a week. (Seriously)
She thought it was odd because she takes a few minutes. I've always Ben long dumper though, longer still if its PGAR. (Pan Gripping Arse Ripper)

Amithenormalone Mon 14-Nov-16 19:04:22

My dh is just like this he often takes his phone a plays game am lucky if he's finished after half an hour usually have to shout him after an hour asking what he's playing at

SaltyBitch Mon 14-Nov-16 19:05:11

He's pooping and then sitting, surely?

Stanky Mon 14-Nov-16 19:10:50

My brother used to say that it's one of life's pleasures. He would take a book or a guitar in there with him.

I like to just get the job done, and get on with my day most of the time. If dc are annoying me, I might hide in there for a while.

Dh likes to poop at work on company time if possible.

Gottagetmoving Mon 14-Nov-16 19:21:37

Three to five minutes. If you are still sat there after 10 minutes you should probably give up and go back later.
I never understood people reading or playing games on the loo.

KathArtic Mon 14-Nov-16 19:24:11

Me - 10 mins max

DH - 40 mins min

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Mon 14-Nov-16 19:26:03

About 5 seconds!

ByeByeLilSebastian Mon 14-Nov-16 19:28:00

Not long today. Had a slimatee that dh keeps recommending. It really gets you going blush

mumonashoestring Mon 14-Nov-16 19:28:31

I read somewhere that women wait til they need to go imminently, then go to the toilet, whereas men go to the toilet and wait for something to happen. Don't know how true that is but DH can take so long in there I genuinely start wondering if he's dozed off...

cwalker84 Mon 14-Nov-16 19:28:52

My DH completely the same. Will happily disappear for half an hour... and often when toddler on a rampage or new baby needing feeding!

sortthetacheoutbernard Mon 14-Nov-16 19:29:15

But what are they doing? surely if that's pushing then some injuries are being done

DementedUnicorn Mon 14-Nov-16 19:29:47

About 5minutes doing the business, about 15 playing on my phone. It's the only time I get not being tortured by the dogs!

booklooker Mon 14-Nov-16 19:31:22

I suspect that the toilet is not being used just for a number 2 as it were.

This topic has come up many times in the past, and always some poster insinuates that the male is having a wank. Why?

If the male has a few books, or takes his mobile in there, why do some posters always assume something seedy (yes, I know what I just did there) is going on.

If he wanted a long leisurely wank,why not have a bath. I have known women to spend well over an hour having a bath. I don't care what they are dong in there.

Some posts hint at a bit of smug mysandry

Threecherries Mon 14-Nov-16 19:34:59

I only go when it's imminent so about 2 minutes?

DS is the same, so I will be interested to see whether this suddenly alters when I ask him to start doing the washing up on a regular basis...

Gardencentregroupie Mon 14-Nov-16 19:36:42

DH confirms that he goes and sits and waits patiently for a poo to happen.

I had a 4th degree tear during labour; if I feel a hint of a poo coming it's action stations and to the toilet ASAP because I don't have long sad

KayTee87 Mon 14-Nov-16 19:46:32

Some women can push a baby out in 20 minutes can't imagine it could ever take anyone that long to poo!!
A couple of minutes is enough for anyone.

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