To think I'll never be able to host?

[SouthernNorthernGirl]

Currently living in a small flat. Our family live at least an hour away. Don't have many friends here, only DH work colleagues and a few people that are acquaintances.
We moved away 4 years ago, and I miss entertaining so much. Always had people in and out of the house, game nights, party's, bring a dish, bbqs.

I don't think people would travel, not if they couldn't drink (no space to have overnight guests) Also seeing as we moved, it is now accepted that we are the ones that need to go to them.

Are my days playing host over?

[Lilaclily]

Maybe you'll make local friends at school, toddler groups, nct, work, hobbies?

[SouthernNorthernGirl]

I do have DC in school, I don't really know any of the parents there though.
I've tried really hard around here, and know a few people. They all seem really shut off. I suppose I feel that they are all rather closed off, in that they all seem to have family and friends local, so don't need anymore.

[chickenowner]

Try //www.meetup.com and search for groups in your local area. I've made so many lovely friends at my local group.

[EveOnline2016]

I'm tipsy so if you wish ignore ( funeral please don't judge)

In a flat I think home hosting is impossible but if you booked a party in a pub or restaurant people will turn up.

[SouthernNorthernGirl]

chickenowner Thank you for the link. I've signed up.

Sorry for your loss Eve

Is it really impossible?

[DavidPuddy]

I've had loads of parties, dinners etc in my flat. Of course it's possible! Everyone lives in flats in my city and rest assured we all have social lives.

[mygorgeousmilo]

I used to live in a tiny flat, but seem to be pretty unstoppable! We used to do a kind of Moroccan style sitting around an oversized coffee table, sat on cushions and eating and drinking delicious food and wine. A sofa bed or at least an air bed are a must if you want to have visitors that can relax and have a drink etc. The company and the good grub are all you need, honestly!

[Comtesse]

Only people who live in houses can have friends and family round? Sorry that is complete nonsense! Of course you can and should have people round! We live in a not very large flat and have had big parties, dinners and Sunday lunches every couple of weeks. Don't have lots of space but less to tidy up!

How do you know your friends/family don't want to travel? Have you actually invited them??

I hear what you are saying about meeting new people - but maybe if you ask them round you will get to strike up a real friendship?

[SouthernNorthernGirl]

I've had family over very rarely, can count IL's visits on one hand. When MIL comes to visit, she wants to stay overnight so means DS1 has to give up his room for the night, and sleep on an airbed.
BIL and SIL have been to see us, although both times have been summer, and so hot we end up in pub gardens, as I don't want anyone to feel cooped up. It's too costly for us to do that each time.

[SouthernNorthernGirl]

mygorgeousmilo Your Morrocan themed dinner sounds fab! Any tips would be lovely

[SouthernNorthernGirl]

Shamelessly bumping

[QuimReaper]

You can totally host! I've been without a proper kitchen for months now and before that didn't have a dining table, just a coffee table in the sitting room. This means I have almost never hosted in a sit-down sense, so I'm your man

When I had a kitchen but no dining table I used to do a handful of pizzas (I tended to buy margheritas and jazz them up) with big bowls of salad, crisps, hummus and crudités, etc. and pile it all up on the table and everyone would just sit around and grab a plateful to eat off their laps. For something slightly more formal I'd do platters of Bruschetta, those mini bagels served open, halloumi and courgette skewers, etc.

When cooking equipment made almost all of that impossible I've hosted just with my slow cooker: loads of braising beef slow-cooked into a delicious melty brisket is a real favourite, a huge pile of fresh white rolls and loads of cheese, again with salad etc. on the side. For lunches I've also had success with a lovely cheesey tomato orzo thing, also in the slow cooker.

Another fab option is charcuterie: I do loads of sliced French bread with all types of meat, cheese, olives, crisps, grapes, apples, taramasalata and blinis, etc. It's great because you can just lay it all out shortly before you're expecting people to arrive and they can just nibble to their hearts content, no more work whatsoever for you except topping up if things run out (and the other beauty of this is you can over-buy because almost all of it is stuff which doesn't easily go off) and you only really have plates and boards left at the end.

[Abrahamkin]

We hosted when we lived in a flat. Made 'buffet style' food, and people sat around on the sofas and on random chairs we had. If we didn't have enough chairs, we asked people for whom it would be easy to bring a chari along with them . It worked!

[mygorgeousmilo]

southernnorthern my tips would be to deffo invest in a sofa bed or some other decent bed for people to stay over, I feel like it's worth it - socialising is a big part of life and to me is the difference between happiness and misery! Re Moroccan style. I usually do a bit of Moroccan/Middle Eastern/Mediterranean style stuff and lay it all out. It's sharing food and is relaxing, and as you don't have space for a massive dining area, it feels more cozy and intimate. It also works well(most of it) at room temperature and can be prepped in advance. Think heavily flavoured cous cous, Turkish bread, grilled chicken, salad with tonnes of pomegranate and feta, vine leaves, tonnes of hummus, tatziki, dips and antipasti that you can pick up from places like LIDL. Must all be smothered in herbs and spices, loads of lemon, parsley, coriander, mint. You could even do mint tea and baklava for afters (I'd buy the baklava though, not make!). They say the way to a mans heart is through his stomach, I think it's the way to win anyone over - and it'll make people feel happy they went the distance to yours. I went a couple of hours to see a friend before and was starving when I got there. All that was on offer was hummous and breadsticks....

[Camomila]

We're in a flat right at the edge of nowhere (I kid, we live on the outskirts of Croydon, so zone 6) and have people over for dinner all the time.

It helps that we are amongst the first of our friends to have a baby so it's a bit of a novelty for them I guess and people keep inviting themselves round

[Comtesse]

Smitten Kitchen is the blog for you - knock out recipes and hosting in a tiny NY flat (think 1 single counter space).

Also google Friday night meatball dinner for a very inspiring story on The Kitchen I think about feeling the fear of hosting and doing it anyway. Breaking bread together is a very important ritual for a reason!

How about a kids play date with parents?? Get to know them a bit better?

[Comtesse]

Sorry here's the link for the article I meant.
www.seriouseats.com/2014/08/simpler-entertaining-friday-night-dinners-end-loneliness-how-to-build-community-after-having-kids.html

[SouthernNorthernGirl]

mygorgeousmilo Thank you, that all sounds delicious!
Love all your menu ideas too QuimReaper Nice to have ideas for different occasions.

Comptesse Thanks for the link - that, along with all the posts on here have made me bite the bullet and send out a group message to some acquaintances. I took advice from the link and invited them to join us for dinner in 2 weeks.

[SouthernNorthernGirl]

I hope they didn't find it odd
I think I spurred myself on by all the encouraging posts.

[Silentelf]

Great ideas here- I only have 1 year left on my contract so will probably have to move away after that and start all over again. I also love to socialise so worry about this kind of thing. I'd love it if someone invited me round in a group- not weird at all.

[MrsSiba]

Comtesse that link is very inspiring and I am mentally building a guest list. We have a 19 month old and both work. Socialising is very rare for us but that link shows it is possible. Would love to give this a go.

OP have you had any replies? What is on the menu?

[SouthernNorthernGirl]

MrsSiba I've had 2 interested, 2 with previous plans and 2 yet to reply.

[SouthernNorthernGirl]

No idea about the menu. Am leaning toward the morrocan suggestion for this one.
Morr

[SouthernNorthernGirl]

Oops. Meant to say Morrocan seems the easiest, budget friendly option.

[Unwrapped]

It can be done! We used to host (parties, dinner parties, weekend visits etc) when we lived in a 2-bed flat. But we only invited close friends who were comfortable sharing a small space. We rolled up the rugs and spread a table-cloth on the floor for meals, sitting on cushions, and at night put the rugs back and turned the lounge into a bedroom (we provided a few double duvets to sleep on and sheets/pillows/sleeping bags). We were all in our mid-20s, this was normal amongst our friendship group at the time. TBH I wouldn't want these sleeping arrangements now, I value my personal space!

Some points to consider:

Guests' comfort. Think about the dynamics of the room, how many people can sit comfortably around your coffee table/soffreh (without banging elbows?) Do you have enough cushions for everyone to sit on? Does anyone have a bad back/stiff joints etc that will make sitting on floor difficult? Do you have a fold out table so some people can eat on the sofa if they don't want the floor?

Do your guests know each other? It can be awkward for strangers to sit very close together. I'd invite a group who are all good friends or trial it with individual couples first. Be upfront about the theme for the evening e.g. Traditional Moroccan style meal.

Also, will they have to be quiet if your DS is asleep in next room?

Make as much space as possible in the lounge/dining area. Clear clutter, toys etc. Set the mood with soft music and lighting, maybe lanterns/candles. Provide plenty of alcohol. Take coats and shoes at the door and put them in another room/hall.

IME it can be really bonding and fun if the group gels. Good luck!