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AIBU to take him to a specialist?

(19 Posts)
mumdiscs Sun 13-Nov-16 21:05:21

My son has a minor problem "down there" and I want to take him to a specialist to try to get it fixed. The only issue is he's very shy and the specialist is a woman, and therefore he refuses to go. The problem isn't serious so he could go without treatment and be fine and be left unembarrassed, but at the same time, I really don't want to neglect any part of his health, just because he's shy.

Rainydayspending Sun 13-Nov-16 21:08:07

"Down there" no wonder he is wary. You need to be able to talk specifically so he learns that is OK, seeking medical help should not be embarassing.
I am sure the specialist will be reassuring, perhaps she/ you outline what he can expect beforehand to put him at ease?

7SunshineSeven7 Sun 13-Nov-16 21:32:44

I agree with Rainy children need to be taught to be open about medical problems with issues like this with the parents or doctors. Its vital that he can talk to you about these things and get treatment so the problem doesn't get worse without you knowing or anything being done about it.

Dontlaugh Sun 13-Nov-16 21:42:51

I empathise and do feel your pain.
In our house, there is no such place as "down there". I have a vagina, and breasts. My sons have penises, scrotums and anuses.
It makes discussion much easier, I find.
I hope your son gets well soon.

mumdiscs Sun 13-Nov-16 22:46:11

Rainydayspending Okay... he has phimosis.

OhWotIsItThisTime Sun 13-Nov-16 22:58:47

He needs to get it sorted. How old is he?

mumdiscs Sun 13-Nov-16 23:00:43

A few months from being 11

FeedMyFaceWithJaffaCakes Sun 13-Nov-16 23:12:15

Needs to be sorted or can be v. Painful.

OutragedKoala Sun 13-Nov-16 23:16:23

Get a male doctor

lougle Sun 13-Nov-16 23:17:34

You don't need a specialist for that. Any paed will be able to deal with it and refer on if necessary.

OhWotIsItThisTime Mon 14-Nov-16 05:24:30

You need to take control here as he has to get it sorted. Can you request a male specialist? Or just make him see her.

Cisoff Mon 14-Nov-16 05:29:45

Get a referral to a male doctor. I wouldn't take my daughter to a male doctor for an intimate issue if she wasn't uncomfortable with one. Nor would I see a male doctor.

AmeliaJack Mon 14-Nov-16 05:30:32

Erm, I'm not sure we'd recommend a parent just force a female child to go and see a male gynaecologist would we ohWosit?

Mum speak to the hospital for advice there must be a male doctor somewhere

pklme Mon 14-Nov-16 07:20:29

Sometimes we create the sensitivity by suggesting it 'how would you feel about showing a doctor?'
Sometimes you just have to be matter of fact. I've booked a doctor, he'll need a quick look. I'd point out regular inspections are part of life, that women get inspected every four years or so, that in pregnancy you may as well sell tickets, that for doctors it is as routine as looking in your mouth.

summerainbow Mon 14-Nov-16 07:42:24

It needs to stopted. Yes the op will be painful.

Didiplanthis Mon 14-Nov-16 07:50:27

Some smaller hospitals will only have one paediatric surgeon ( paediatricians are medics not surgeons ) it may not be possible to insist on seeing a male one. But that doesn't mean you can't ask. I do understand but ideally children should be taught to trust doctors of both sexes as you don't get to choose in an emergency situation. ( not advocating forcing at all though - it is far better if they are comfortable )

Slarti Mon 14-Nov-16 08:01:25

just make him see her

Please don't do this. He is 11 and will probably be already sensitive about his body without forced into this. By all means talk to him at length, put him at ease, comfort him, but please don't force him.

Cisoff Wed 16-Nov-16 02:55:23

"that women get inspected every four years or so, that in pregnancy you may as well sell tickets, that for doctors it is as routine as looking in your mouth."

I appreciate that argument. In fact I used to make it myself. Then for various reasons to do with pregnancy I had plenty of doctors looking on during labour. I asked them to wait outside and come in only if needed. I was given the same sort of message "oh, they don't care". Well, that's not the point. I care. It's not about their comfort. It's about mine.

RedBullBlood Wed 16-Nov-16 03:17:59

All of the threads over this year that have been started by a first time poster with an 11 year old son with foreskin problems have ended up being deleted. Just saying.

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