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For looking after my own child for a day?

(25 Posts)
YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 13-Nov-16 18:29:11

DS1 was circumcised on Friday for medical reasons - it really did need doing. Had the day off with him - general anaesthetic etc. He is off school this week to recover - I am spending tomorrow with him as he is still uncomfortable and not up to leaving the house. DM is having him the rest of the week.

Apparently this is unreasonable of me because I am a teacher and therefore my colleagues will be inconvenienced. The colleagues are fine - it's the bloody management who are not. AIBU to ask wtf they expect me to do? I can't take leave because it is term time. I won't get paid. So quit with the fucking moaning...

AndShesGone Sun 13-Nov-16 18:39:07

That's what cover is for. It can't be helped. flowers

Your management are dicks

monkeysox Sun 13-Nov-16 18:39:18

Yanbu he needs you. Poor boy flowers

LagunaBubbles Sun 13-Nov-16 18:42:07

Yanbu. But I don't understand about not taking leave - isn't that what you are doing? confused
Everyone is entitled to parental leave.

Wolfiefan Sun 13-Nov-16 18:42:07

Because you are a teacher you are unreasonable to have a child who is unwell and needs you at home?
FFS. And they can't figure out why so many teachers are leaving the profession?
My DS was extremely ill when he was a toddler. I remember doing a night at the hospital then going into work the next day. Bonkers. But was made to feel I had no choice.
Most jobs would accept that parents share time off when children aren't well enough to go to school or nursery or whatever.
Hope he feels better soon.

DesolateWaist Sun 13-Nov-16 18:42:21

Poor boy. It's not the kind of thing you want other family members knowing about either to be honest.

Management are dicks. Do they think the poor love should have waited until half term.

BeingATwatItsABingThing Sun 13-Nov-16 18:42:54

When I was on teaching placement, I took a day off because my DD was ill. There was automatically a cover teacher because I was only a student.

I came in the following day to be told by my mentor that I needed to be in every day. I explained that DD was ill but she said it wasn't really an excuse. hmm She was 5 months pregnant at the time so already a perfect parent with a child that needed no further attention after maternity leave had finished.

iwantavuvezela Sun 13-Nov-16 18:43:38

Absolutely take the day off. I would hate for a teacher to be at work teaching my child when her own child needed looking after. Hope he recovers well.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 13-Nov-16 18:47:33

I am taking leave, but it has been made very clear that I won't be paid. Which makes me feel less guilty about planning his first foray out of the house since Friday, for a short drive to Costa and a medicinal hot chocolate.

The management really are dicks. The main complainant is busy - he wrote the fucking calendar which has led to said busyness, the twat.

I can understand why people lie and say they are ill when their child is ill now.

basketoffreshveg Sun 13-Nov-16 18:50:50

Unfortunately this is the real downside to teaching. I remember constantly being sent into school when ill as a child due to having teaching parents!

Spottyladybird Sun 13-Nov-16 18:54:15

SLT are always dicks.

Once, my DD had a sickness bug, I'd been up all night with her then left her with my DM to go to work. Had a meeting that night so asked my ht if I could miss it (I'm 0.6 so I only have to do 3/5 meetings) and he said 'can't someone else look after her?' Erm no, I'm her mum, shes 2 - she's throwing up all day and night and I've had no sleep either.

I nearly told him to shove his job.

OzzieFem Sun 13-Nov-16 18:59:33

Have you checked your employment contract to see what applies in your case?

2kids2dogsnosense Sun 13-Nov-16 19:01:49

Agree that I would not expect my child's teacher to come into work worrying about her own children. Your child is ill and needs you.

All organisations need some slack in the staffing levels to allow for unforeseeable circumstances. Unfortunately most are now skeleton staffed to maximise profit/ reduce cost/ both and if someone needs to take time off it causes huge problems. This is the fault of the organisation - not of the staff members.

ravenmum Sun 13-Nov-16 19:13:02

I agree that they are unreasonable to complain. Looking back on when the children were small, though, I wish I had got their dad to take time off more - well, at all, actually - to look after them when they were ill. He just thought my job was less important, so I should be the one to take time off. As a result I ended up with all the stress in this kind of situation. Hope your child's dad is more helpful in that way, if he can be?

Brightbluebells Sun 13-Nov-16 19:14:23

SLT are not always dicks. What a ridiculously overgeneralised statement.

I am headteacher. This week I have granted days off with pay for a teaching assistant who needed to accompany her dad to a specialist appointment, a teacher who needed a tooth fitting, a teacher whose 12 month old was poorly and a teaching assistant who was moving house.

I think, OP, that you work in school which doesn't understand that working in a school is about give and take. I would ask to see the leave of absence policy because if you work in a LA school it is likely that there is some entitlement for being absent with pay for looking after a dependent. If you are at an academy, that is obviously a completely different kettle of fish.

Not all schools are like this.

Patriciathestripper1 Sun 13-Nov-16 19:16:36

Take the day off and don't give it a second thought. Your son needs you and that's what supply teachers are for.

Ilovenannyplum Sun 13-Nov-16 19:16:49

OP, your son needs you, you're managers are idiots.

I can recommend the Lindt costa hot chocolate grin
Hope he's on the mend soon flowers

RandomMess Sun 13-Nov-16 19:25:07

My HR Director expected me to be able to magic up paid for childcare for my DD when she was in throws of chicken pox... I was a single parent, no family and still highly contagious - not sure what I was meant to do tbh!

Hope your DS is feeling better very soon flowers

Sillybillybonker Sun 13-Nov-16 19:25:49

No wonder teachers are leaving the profession in droves if this is how they are treated.

LockedOutOfMN Sun 13-Nov-16 19:28:08

I think it's reasonable for you to have a day of unpaid leave for these personal reasons, OP, and it's unreasonable of your manager to moan about that.

Can your son's father look after him or does his job also prevent him from taking leave?

Hope your son recovers quickly and isn't in pain any longer.

kaitlinktm Sun 13-Nov-16 19:34:41

It's true that throughout my career in teaching my own children always came second. I think in 25 years of teaching at the same school I had a (begrudged) half day off due to my own children being ill - but then I was lucky in that we had retired grandparents on tap or it would have been a lot more difficult.

ChocolateBudgeCake Sun 13-Nov-16 19:40:07

As teachers I thought we were entitled to 5 days of paid parental leave a year. So long as your school is state school/ burgundy book following. I would contact your union.

Stupid school for making you feel guilty. I'm sure there are plenty of times where you have covered for others in the same situation!

Crabbitstick Sun 13-Nov-16 19:40:34

In Scotland teachers are entitled to paid carers leave. You get one week paid or pro-rata.
My last boss was a dick about it though (not the HT they were fine).
He didn't seem to see the irony that he took off about 6 or 7 days for job interviews (he was moving) but god forbid I had one for a sick toddler. Take your day, look after your child.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards Sun 13-Nov-16 20:07:45

DH is taking Wednesday as parental leave as we can't cover then. If I had rung in first thing tomorrow I would probably be paid. Except that would drop them right in it. Effectively being penalised for being honest

Waffles80 Sun 13-Nov-16 20:51:29

What type of school are you at?

Are you in a union?

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