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Can you be friends with a racist?

(240 Posts)
AteRiri Sun 13-Nov-16 11:44:11

Is your political view separate from friendships?

Hercules12 Sun 13-Nov-16 11:45:36

No. My dc are mixed race so a friend who was racist could never happen.

Tissunnyupnorth Sun 13-Nov-16 11:45:37

I don't think so. Their views dictate their behaviour, their behaviour influences the friendship.

AlexaTwoAtT Sun 13-Nov-16 11:45:57

No.

finova Sun 13-Nov-16 11:46:30

What if they're in the family...tricky.

Whatslovegottodo Sun 13-Nov-16 11:47:27

I have ceased contact with people who have extreme political views. It depends what you mean. I was a remainer and would not vote for brexit, I wouldn't fall out with people who did though as don't believe they are racists despite what some have tried to make us believe. However people who were openly racist is more than a political view and I would not be their friend.
As a 'lefty liberal' I try to discuss and see people's views but not those that are hateful or discriminatory.

SpeakNoWords Sun 13-Nov-16 11:47:58

Couldn't be friends with a racist. To me that's not a political view, it's more like a major difference in ethics/morals and it wouldn't be compatible with friendship.

UncontrolledImmigrant Sun 13-Nov-16 11:49:38

I really can't agree to disagree with someone who fails to recognise my humanity

so no, no friendships with racists here

PurpleDaisies Sun 13-Nov-16 11:50:05

Racism isn't a political view. It's abhorrent. I wouldn't be friends with someone who was a racist.

Leanback Sun 13-Nov-16 11:50:37

No. Definitely a dealbreaker for relationships with me. It's so far detached from my current views and I couldn't even begin to understand it.

AlmaMartyr Sun 13-Nov-16 11:51:07

No, I couldn't. Like SpeakNoWords, I don't think of that as a political view but a major ethical disagreement.

LolaStarr Sun 13-Nov-16 11:51:20

Nope!

corythatwas Sun 13-Nov-16 11:51:23

This isn't just a different political opinion about e.g. what measures would fix the economy; it's thinking half my family are inferior because of their skin colour. Don't see how I could possibly deal with that.

AteRiri Sun 13-Nov-16 11:52:13

Because of the recent developments in the US, I have realised (actually I think I was just blind to it - it was pretty blatant now that I think about it) that a long-time friend is racist. Racist the way Trump is - which is so very, very racist.

I now can't stand him.

DotForShort Sun 13-Nov-16 11:52:38

No.

manicinsomniac Sun 13-Nov-16 11:52:59

I wouldn't consider racism to be a political view, it goes way beyond that.

For me, it would depend.

I imagine everyone is friends with racists unwittingly - those who think but don't say things or say them in private to their partner.

I could also be friends with someone who was already a close friend who then made unthinking comments or expressed a subconscious prejudice.

But someone who actively discriminated, made calculated unpleasant comments, laughed at or agreed with racist actions and opinions - no, I couldn't be friends with someone like that.

tabulahrasa Sun 13-Nov-16 11:53:07

How is being racist a political view?

ToastDemon Sun 13-Nov-16 11:53:12

I am friends with people whose political views are poles apart from mine. That is fine.
I would not be friends with someone with racist views however. And I expect all differences of opinion to be expressed respectfully or for us to chose other topics over which to engage.

FameNameGameLame Sun 13-Nov-16 11:53:17

You can be friends with whoever you choose.

Being friends with a racist doesn't make you a racist. Being friends with a murderer doesn't make you a murder. Being friends with milkman doesn't make you a milkman...

I personally couldn't tolerate a friendship with a racist person, but I can tolerate ignorance quite well so long as I can interpret it as genuine ignorance.

Buzzardbird Sun 13-Nov-16 11:53:31

I was unaware of how many racist acquaintances I had until I saw their FB posts. Deleted them off FB was the easy part.

Leviticus Sun 13-Nov-16 11:54:28

Do you mean that you are ending a friendship just because they favoured Trump over Clinton or is there other behaviour that's come to light?

RedHelenB Sun 13-Nov-16 11:55:55

There are people though that spout all kinds of crap from what they get from the press but you know that as a person they would not discriminate against someone that they knew if that makes sense? So I wouldn't necessarily not be friends with that sort of a person. A member of BNP / Combatr 18 etc would be a different matter

LuchiMangsho Sun 13-Nov-16 11:56:24

Given the colour of my skin, no! It would be odd to be friends with someone who considered me less equal based on my ethnicity. That said many Asians are also racist/homophobic/anti-Muslim etc and I avoid those that are as well. Bigoted people can be found in all communities.

AteRiri Sun 13-Nov-16 11:59:35

Leviticus

No. I have friends who voted for Trump because they genuinely think Trump will do a better job than Hillary. Although I must admit it makes my eyebrow go up.

This friend said we should wipe out all (I won't say the race) because he truly believes all of them should not live. Also he said (another race) are lazy and when he walks in the street, and there's one, he makes sure he sees that person because he might be mugged.

I'm not Caucasian, so I shudder to think what he must really be thinking of me.

FameNameGameLame Sun 13-Nov-16 12:01:28

m.huffpost.com/us/entry/10417888

Also, hating racists is kind of a form of bigotry in itself, if you dig deep enough.

If I shun people who I judge as behaving badly, how am I going to set an example for them to behave in a better way?

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