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Aibu to think this is actually quite sad?

(51 Posts)
Swapahatchimal Sun 13-Nov-16 10:09:19

I read a post on a local parents forum about YouTube and children accessing inappropriate content on it, cartoons swearing, having sex etc. Most of the replies were along the lines of "you can't stop them" "they'll have to know what the real world is like soon enough". Lots of six, seven year old children "obsessed" with YouTube, spending all their free time on it, and one child apparently said "YouTube is my life". Also small children being allowed to watch GTA videos etc, which are full of violence. A few posters suggested simply taking the tablets off the children if they continued to be able to see the videos, but were totally dismissed.

On the same forum, people are starting to talk about the "stash" they've bought for the children's Christmas presents. Lots of them saying that their primary aged children are no longer playing with toys as they are only interested in video games /tablets

Aibu to think it's a bit sad that a lot of children seem to be obsessed with screens/tablets to this extent? I know I'll probably get accused of being smug, but I have been guilty of using screens as a babysitter when I'm knackered.

GrabtharsHammer Sun 13-Nov-16 10:15:49

I think it's just modern life. I don't worry about it too much. Both my boys (5 and 14) would happily watch hours and hours of YouTube if I let them, and sometimes I do. They both walk to school every day, run around outside, go on their bikes.

It's all about a balance but I don't think screen time is the big evil a lot of people think it is.

GrabtharsHammer Sun 13-Nov-16 10:16:52

Although I agree with the inappropriate content, Ds2 only watches on the main tv when I'm in the room and I often have to veto stuff with swears or violence.

Soubriquet Sun 13-Nov-16 10:20:21

There is a kids YouTube you know

My two don't have access to the Internet and at 3 and 1 I hope they won't for a long time

I have a slight addiction to the Internet. I don't want my kids to have it yet either

KC225 Sun 13-Nov-16 11:08:06

Not smug. Judgemental though

KayTee87 Sun 13-Nov-16 11:12:16

Yanbu, nothing wrong with occasional screen time obviously but small children should not be allowed to watch something that's inappropriate and to say 'well they'll find out soon enough' is a ridiculous excuse.

Swapahatchimal Sun 13-Nov-16 11:13:35

Yes absolutely. Using my own judgement to decide that giving young children unlimited Internet access isn't a good idea.

MrsJayy Sun 13-Nov-16 11:23:05

I dont have primary age children but my friends kids are you tube obsessed they watch minecraft stuff etc they are all supervised though its just entertainment for them the world is technology now and if there is a balance then there is nothing wrong with it, my youngest dd is 18 and you tube obsessed make up tutorial channels singers channels she watches them all.

MrsJayy Sun 13-Nov-16 11:24:08

Although i agree with you children should not have free reign of the internet.

SharkBastard Sun 13-Nov-16 11:26:07

DD is 8 and has no idea what YouTube is and doesn't have access to it. She doesn't use the Internet at home, and when the time comes I'll try and ensure all safeguarding features are in place.

My nephew is 7 and on instagram...unbelievable really but his mum won't discuss it so such is life confused

I agree, but I try and have faith that most parents are ensuring safety first

JellyBelli Sun 13-Nov-16 11:31:52

YANBU, its parenting.

FameNameGameLame Sun 13-Nov-16 11:39:55

Sorry I hit to post by mistake too early.

I know I'll probably get accused of being smug, but I have been guilty of using screens as a babysitter when I'm knackered.

I wasn't going to accuse you of being smug until I read this. Why do you have to cushion it with 'when you're knackered'?

The rest of your post, I do think it's pretty sad but it's not how you have to raise your kids so stop looking at other people and make sure you raise your own children right for you.

You can't predict the future any more than anyone else - nobody knows definitively what's going on with screen time. For me that means I'm very careful, for someone else it means they think 'it will probably be fine'. Who knows which one of us is right. I know I won't be sitting, stressing myself out about their choices.

RedStripeLassie Sun 13-Nov-16 11:40:01

I don't think you're being unreasonable. I let dd play two games on our iPad before it broke and she likes looking at family pictures on phones etc but I try not to let her do it for too long. Lots of Netflix kids though. I miss the iPad sad

RainbowJack Sun 13-Nov-16 11:53:49

General screen time is fine as long as there's a balance.

I read something about younger children having access to tech may help them get interested in stuff like coding, which is beneficial since that's where modern life is heading.

Access to inappropriate content is just bad/lax parenting.

bumsexatthebingo Sun 13-Nov-16 11:54:02

I agree with you. My kids have an iPad and they have apps on there that I allow but they aren't allowed on it unsupervised while online. Kids can still see inappropriate things on 'kids' YouTube and 'safe' search engines as the filters aren't foolproof. If they are using the internet my youngest uses the laptop while I am sat with him. My eldest I will allow to use certain websites unsupervised because I trust her but she knows what she is allowed to go on. They aren't allowed to use devices in friends houses as most kids are able to access inappropriate content ime due to parents thinking the settings they have on devices prevent it. All devices in our house that connect to the internet are password protected. Saying there's 'nothing you can do' to avoid kids seeing inappropriate things is lazy. It's your duty as a parent to protect them from viewing inappropriate content online.

bumsexatthebingo Sun 13-Nov-16 11:56:09

And I also agree screen time should be occasional. So many of my kids friends struggle for what to do when screen time isn't available. They are unable to sit for a car journey just chatting, looking out of the window etc. I do think it's sad.

crispandcheesesanwichplease Sun 13-Nov-16 14:59:16


crispandcheesesanwichplease Sun 13-Nov-16 15:02:07

A relative of mine with several grandchildren, all under 10, told me she'd got rid of all the toy storage at her house because now all the grandkids have ipads they don't need the toys anymore. A sad day for those children methinks.

BratFarrarsPony Sun 13-Nov-16 15:04:43

well it's not that new...when my 18 year old children were in reception there were children in their class with access to GTA for example...
As schools directly encourage 'screen time' it is hard for parents to control it.

Cagliostro Sun 13-Nov-16 15:09:18


museumum Sun 13-Nov-16 15:15:24

My 3yo uses kids YouTube to watch music / nursery rhymes. We could go out and buy a load of cds but that seems like a waste of money when there's so much on YouTube.
It doesn't stop him doing creative stuff or physical or imaginative play or looking at books and in fact it's YouTube that's really firing up his interest in letters and phonics. I really don't get the angst, kids need a bit of chilling out time too.

BratFarrarsPony Sun 13-Nov-16 15:17:54

" kids need a bit of chilling out time too. "
not by staring at a screen at the age of 3 , IMO.

Swapahatchimal Sun 13-Nov-16 15:19:41

I say "when I'm knackered" because yes there are times when my kids watch TV a bit longer than I would like, because I'm exhausted and need a break. I'm using that as an example because I'm not saying kids should never watch TV/go on an ipad

But I'm shocked at the amount of parents saying that the ipad/YouTube/xbox is the dominant factor in a child's life, and that they can't control what the child views

I have noticed a difference from when my eldest was a baby, ten years ago. There was all the warnings re: too much telly, but I think most children do actually get bored of TV after a while and will go and do other things. Children do seem to get addicted to tablets more easily.

I work with older teenagers, and some of them have really wrecked their education by sitting on xbox all day, and their parents can't do anything about it - no wonder, if you lose control of your 6 yr old's viewing habits, what are you going to do with a 6 foot 15 year old?

SealSong Sun 13-Nov-16 15:21:07

I think most people have no idea that there are thousands and thousands of videos on Youtube that are inappropriate and damaging for children to see. Videos of fights and assaults, serious car crashes, deaths, beheadings, violence to animals, appallingly sexist and homophobic music videos...the list goes on.

YuckYuckEwwww Sun 13-Nov-16 15:21:59

My kids use it occassionally I think we've got an okay balance, if anything I worry that we're NOT techy enough and they should be doing coding or minecraft etc to keep up with modern life…

However what worries me is that mine only ever use devices in our company, but in friends houses, even though their friends have otherwise nice responsible parents, most primary school aged kids are allowed to freely roam online in their own bedrooms. So on playdates, no adult has any idea of what they're watching! shock

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