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to think this is odd (pil related)

(50 Posts)
bibbitybobbityyhat Sat 12-Nov-16 20:56:15

My pil are very young. Mil had dh when she was 18 and his brother when she was 20. Fil is 5 years older.

Fast forward 50+ years and the pils are in their early/mid 70s.

They have asked that dbil and dh go with them on a trip to Europe next summer for a few days.

The wives and grandchildren are not invited this is fine with me, I really would not want to go and dh has agreed with a heavy sigh because he does not want to go either.

However, I just cannot imagine myself X years into the future expecting my adult dc to accompany on a trip abroad which is important to me (but not them) when I am still solvent, of sound mind and body, and have a partner to accompany me.

Or perhaps Iabu.

AJMcF Sat 12-Nov-16 21:00:13

Gosh, that is weird.
What is the reason for them wanting their adult children only? And not their families?

lightgreenglass Sat 12-Nov-16 21:01:36

I don't get it - if they want to spend time with their adult DC what's the problem?

anyoldname76 Sat 12-Nov-16 21:01:58

i think its nice, ive been away with my mum this year. if they dont want to go with their parents though thats different

AyeAmarok Sat 12-Nov-16 21:02:03

Do they want them there because they want the help? Or do they just want the company?

Somerville Sat 12-Nov-16 21:02:35

Has it happened regularly over the years or just this one-off?

pipsqueak25 Sat 12-Nov-16 21:02:51

there might be a back story to this that family aren't aware of -ill health may be ? last trip together ?

DillFunk Sat 12-Nov-16 21:04:10

Do they know their DC won't enjoy the trip or do they think they're doing something nice by inviting them along?

AJMcF Sat 12-Nov-16 21:04:18

I must clarify, I have no problem with your PIL asking the children to go.

Excluding the remainder of the family (wife's and children) is not acceptable to me

QuiteLikely5 Sat 12-Nov-16 21:04:48

I don't think it's odd. I think it's s very kind offer

Somerville Sat 12-Nov-16 21:04:49

Yes I was wondering about ill-health too. Either a last-hurrah or to break the news to the sons.

Hope it just is a bit of oddness and not that though. flowers

EveOnline2016 Sat 12-Nov-16 21:04:55

In years to come I hope I can spend time with just my children.i do every month go and see my parents without the dc or husband.

Not sure about an extended time. I mean I hope my children will be using there holiday etc for school holidays and not using it to spend time with me.

Twooter Sat 12-Nov-16 21:06:52

Can't see the problem. I would quite like to do it with my family, and would be happy for my dh to do it with his.

OurBlanche Sat 12-Nov-16 21:07:49

Hell, I don't even like my parents and I wouldn't think this is odd at all!

Just another thing some kinds of parents do!

Then again, my parents are odd, so I don't really have a good grip on this!

SquinkiesRule Sat 12-Nov-16 21:26:23

I spend one day a week with my Mother, no Dh or kids are invited. They see her for Sunday dinner.
I don't see a problem with them being with their parents without wives and children. It's a nice idea.
I hope when I'm in my 70's my kids would like to spend time with me too.

Floggingmolly Sat 12-Nov-16 21:31:04

I think disregarding the fact that your adult child has a partner and children of their own is very odd. Surprised so many don't.

NataliaOsipova Sat 12-Nov-16 21:31:53

I think it's a bit odd. If it had been suggested as a family trip (ie with wives and grandchildren) which had turned into just the two sons going, then that would be different. But to plan it not to include you seems strange. Just my opinion, though....

bibbitybobbityyhat Sat 12-Nov-16 21:35:04

No ill health that we are aware of. They are now 70 and 71 and by rights should be great grandparents, except that dh is younger than me and we got married in our 30s and had children in our very late 30s.

So now dh and his brother are in their 50s and have two teenage children each. But their parents want them to go away just the 4 of them for a few days. How odd! It has probably been more than 30 years since the 4 of them met up for a meal or even just a day at home together without a girlfriend/wife/child being present.

DrSeuss Sat 12-Nov-16 21:35:11

They aren't off to Dignitas, are they?

bibbitybobbityyhat Sat 12-Nov-16 21:35:53

Sorry, 70 and 75.

baconandeggies Sat 12-Nov-16 21:35:56

I think it's fine. Dsis & I go away with our DM without our partners sometimes.

scaryteacher Sat 12-Nov-16 21:36:31

I'm going to spend a few days with my Mum when I drop her back after Christmas with us. Dh will be away on business, and I will have dropped ds off at university en route to Mum's. No-one bats a n eyelid.

BreakfastLunchPasta Sat 12-Nov-16 21:40:59

I don't really see the problem. It's only a couple of days; if it was a week or more I might feel peed off as it would impinge on our own family holiday time.
I expect they're starting to think about their mortality, and would like to spend a few days of quality time with their offspring while they still can. If all the families come, your dh and bil will be preoccupied with DC etc and that might not necessarily be the type of trip they have in mind.

IminaPickle Sat 12-Nov-16 21:41:18

It utterly depends on the family. I'm spending a few days away with my parents next month (they're living temporarily overseas) DH would rather stick pins in his eyes than holiday without the rest of the family, although he's a 'good son' and enjoys spending time with his parents.

wigglybeezer Sat 12-Nov-16 21:49:20

Recently I've been away with my parents on my own and with siblings, mainly accompanying them on duty visits to distant, even more elderly relatives but we have usually turned it into a treat, nice meals out etc.. we all enjoy it, I rather enjoy being the centre of my parents attention and my parents enjoy reminiscing, it's also restful having a rest from DH and my teens. I would go on a short holiday with,my parents no problem but would hesitate to go on one with all of us, too stressful!

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