To worry about Dgd's "upset" with school friends.

(8 Posts)
heartskey Sat 12-Nov-16 20:40:08

I'm really hoping that I'm worrying unnecessarily, Dgd had lots of friends in primary school, however since starting high school things have changed a lot. At first she loved it, about 3 of her friends from primary joined her at new school and dgd palled around with them and all was well.

She hadn't made any particular new friends at High school but wasn't concerned because she had her 3 old ones. However a girl who came up from a different primary has taken a dislike to Dgd and seems to be turning her friends against her. Lately they've been ignoring her at breaks etc and she's finding herself more and more alone.

Obviously she's a bit upset about this and I've told her that all will be fine, that that's quite normal at this age and eventually she'll make new friends, but she says that all the girls in her class seem to be forming into their own groups and it's upsetting her as she feels very alone.

I know I'm being a bit silly for getting upset on her behalf, can anyone reassure me that it's all normal and this kind of thing is common, but it should get better? I hate her being upset.

MooPointCowsOpinion Sat 12-Nov-16 20:43:16

It is normal but it's still shit. A quiet word with her form tutor from her mum or dad might help, just so they can help steer her towards new friends. She could join a club or team?

Year 7 is brutal for girls, so much so I wonder if it doesn't cause permenant damage to how girls see each other as foes instead of allies.

heartskey Sat 12-Nov-16 20:48:40

Yes I wonder if it's quite as brutal for boys, it's awful though, you just want them to be happy. She's only just told us about this after a bit of prompting. My Dd and I were both concerned and now I'm just going to worry. If it continues my Dd will speak to the teacher, I just hope it sorts itself out.

Thetruthfairy Sat 12-Nov-16 20:49:55

I agree with moo. I think a quite word with a form teacher would help x

heartskey Sat 12-Nov-16 20:51:55

If my Dd has a word with form teacher, how do you think it will be handled. Does that usually resolve it?

bruffin Sat 12-Nov-16 21:01:45

Year 7 is brutal for boys Moopoint. They go from being the big fish in the ponds to the little minnows in the sea and some are scrambling to get back to the top of the pile and dont care who they trample on the way up. Unfortunately my ds was the one who was trodden on by his friends.

Advise your dgd OP to join as many clubs as possible. Friendships are fairly fluid all the way through year 7 and hopefully your dgd will make new friends.

heartskey Sat 12-Nov-16 21:09:29

Yes I will encourage her to join clubs, I feel so sorry for her. She's such a bright confident girl but this seems to have knocked it out of her. She's lost all that new school "eagerness" that she had, poor thing.

Pineapplemilkshake Sat 12-Nov-16 21:24:19

This happened to be when I was about 15, I was in a group of 5 friends. When we started 4th form just me and one of the girls (I'll call her Lucy) were in the same form class as we were doing similar subjects. Two of the others turned against me, and basically punished me for "stealing" Lucy, and sent me to Coventry for months. It was miserable - I still hung around with them despite being ignored by two of them, and failed to see that Lucy wouldn't stand up to them. It still bothers me now when I think about it! Eventually they started speaking to me again and all went back to normal. We didn't keep in touch after leaving school though.

In hindsight I should have tried to rise above it and make other friends. I think it's lovely your DGD had confided in you (I didn't tell anyone what was happening to me). I think the best you can do is encourage her to make other friends and reassure that friendship groups are more fluid at her stage. You sound lovely.

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