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Teen Babysitting AIBU??

(12 Posts)
RockinHippy Sat 12-Nov-16 00:31:37

AIBU to think if you have a 14yo babysitter looking after your DCs, that you take some responsibility for making sure they get home safely & if you are running late, you make sure you get home first before telling them to organise a taxi for themselves?? confused

Just that really, I genuinely don't know what would be the norm. I only know if I had someone elses 14yo DD looking after my own DCs, drunk or not, I would make sure I organised them a cab on getting home & make sure they had enough money to cover the whole fare.

This is a regular job for DD. First time worked well as the family held their own taxi back for her & DD came home in that.

Since then its been disorganised & stressful, one week DD went out to get the cab she thought was outside, only to find herself stuck out on a dark street & no cab, family having quickly gone to bed, meaning she rang us pretty scared & DH had to go get her.

This week, they ring DD to tell her they are on their way & to ring a cab as they will be home in 5 minutes. The turned up 20 minutes later & DD was anxious as cab driver was annoyed & she was £7 out of pocket for the fare.

Its not safe for her to walk home alone & bar the first week, its been a similar stress every time

AIBU to think this is a bit crap ???

RockinHippy Sat 12-Nov-16 00:36:25

cab driver was annoyed about waiting

Cluesue Sat 12-Nov-16 00:36:48

Yes,if I was her I'd be finding another,more considerate family to sit for

pipsqueak25 Sat 12-Nov-16 00:39:26

i wouldn't let her sit for the family again until i had cleared it up with the parents on the arrangements tbh

Ilovecharliecat Sat 12-Nov-16 00:44:22

Erm, shouldn't they be paying the taxi fare home? Why should babysitter be out of pocket? They are irresponsible and expecting far too much for a 14 yo, I'm not saying that babysitter can't cope to babysit, but the adults that's she's babysitting for need to take more responsibility

WatchingFromTheWings Sat 12-Nov-16 00:47:16

YANBU. My DD is the same age and I wouldn't want her sitting for someone like that.

RockinHippy Sat 12-Nov-16 00:48:46

Thank you, thats my thoughts too. I don't need my night ruined by worrying about DD as she is ringing us in a panic, just so someone else can have a night out, I would rather she didn't do it at allsad

Shame as DD loves the DCs & really enjoys spending time with them, but from a babysitting POV I don't think they are so easy either tbh as they are up & down & need a lot of settling too, plus tgey always come home later than they say, DD's happy to deal with that, but Im not at all happy about the worry of her standing out scared in dark streets or having to deal with grumpy taxi drivers & be out of pocket

DD doesn't want me to, but I think I need a chat with the family

Glad it is more normal to not want to put a young girl in a vulnerable situation

Thanks

RockinHippy Sat 12-Nov-16 00:51:34

Sorry, I wasn't clear - DD was out of pocket as cab had to wait about 15 minutes before they got home & she could leave, but they gave her the normal cab money, not the extra £7 that was already clocked up before she got into it

Graphista Sat 12-Nov-16 00:54:59

I've done a LOT of babysitting since age 13 and now my daughter does it.

Yanbu they should be getting her home safely either dad walks her home, or they pay for cab. Also time home - no more than 15 mins later than they say they're going to be, should be calling to let her know (my clients did and that was pre mobiles so NO excuse these days).

I've done wee few hours of an evening right through to full weekends/children of multiple families (with other sitters in same house), daughter has done few hours to overnights.

This pair sound like they're taking the proverbial!

Errppppp Sat 12-Nov-16 01:12:08

That's really shabby of them. Do they pay her an ok amount?

pontificationcentral Sat 12-Nov-16 01:13:50

Next time they ask, get her to double check the arrangements to get home. It's two way communication - yes, you would think they would check themselves, but I'm not sure it is entirely their sole responsibility. Before any of mine babysit, I always ask them - how are you getting home? She does need to be factoring this in.
If you live far enough away to necessitate a cab ride (and not a drunken shuffle along the street from the family) then she needs to make it clear up front that she expects x per hour, plus cab fare.
We usually gave teen babysitters a ride home, or dh walked them, but actually, now mine are old enough to do the sitting, no one offers any more. So we have to schlep out and walk them home, or go pick them up. But before they go, we know what the plan is for getting home.
It's all part of growing up and learning how to negotiate these things, and it's a good lesson for older kids to learn.
Thankfully, dd1 has a much better pt job now, lol. We still have to pick her up, but not in the middle of the night!!

RockinHippy Sat 12-Nov-16 18:56:58

Thanks everyone

Ponti good points & tbh thats kind of where we were at too.

We had talked to DD about getting home safely & her plan of action, which was fine that time & including cab far home was quoted when DD gave them her hourly rate.

Unfortunately it went down hill a bit from there. After the first time she sat for this family & it went wrong & DH had to go pick her up, we told DD she needed to be firmer with them & to make sure a cab was there before leaving their house etc.

They do sound very flaky though, DD rang us for a cab number (her Internet went down for a short while) they had texted her to say they were running a little late & were in X pub having a nightcap & would be home in 5 minutes. We know the pub & reckon it would be a good 20 minutes plus walk from their house, so ringing a cab straight away wasn't a good idea. We told her to ring/text back & ask them to let her know when they were in sight of their house, but instead they rang saying they were 5 minutes away - which clearly wasn't true - all of this made it over an hour latehmm

I went through the money/cab fare with DD today when she was less tired & TBF, it turns out that other weeks, they have rounded up DDs money, so it wasn't as bad as it first looked. This time it was an hour longer, plus the extra cab fair & they gave her the same amount as other weeks, so even though going by her hourly rate, plus extra cab fare it worked out only a fraction under what it should have been, she felt robbed - IYSWIM

Ive decided to leave it for now, but have encouraged DD to advertise her babysitting services to other local parents & next time this family contact her, I will jump in & have a word with them myself & say if they want to continue using her, then they must organise her cab themselves, pay all of it & make sure she gets into it safely, especially given that there has been several sexually motivated attacks on young girls in the area recently - which is the bit that really pees me iff TBH, I wouldn't leave a 20 yo in such a vulnerable position let alone a 14yo!!

& fingers crossed DD gets more offers & she turns them down next time smile

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