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To feel really sad about this.

(39 Posts)
Highlandfling80 Fri 11-Nov-16 10:40:27

Dd3 started nursery class in a state school in September. Already we have had a letter about a Grandparents Day. Sound lovely a chance for grandparents to come into school and do a craft activity with their grandparents.
Unfortunately Dd3 has no grandparents. 3 out of the 4 died before she was born and the remaining one last year.
I just feel so sad that we are likely to have years of these days.

ProudBadMum Fri 11-Nov-16 10:42:01

The fuck is grandparents day?! That's new to me

Go in yourself and do some crafts

PurpleDaisies Fri 11-Nov-16 10:42:51

It's unlikely you'll have years of these days-I've never hear of any school doing this before.

Highlandfling80 Fri 11-Nov-16 10:45:36

I would hope that would be the case but I am pretty sure this isn't the 1St time they have done this. My friends Dd is a year above and they did it last year too.

golfbuggy Fri 11-Nov-16 10:46:18

My niece's school has one of these every year, but it's the only school I know of that does. My DD's school had a random "invite your grandparents day" in Y1, but has had none since (and she's now Y6).

Bear in mind that it's only going to be a small proportion of children that have grandparents that are actually able to come in. My DC have 4 gps but none of them live close enough to come into her primary school for a couple of hours.

Highlandfling80 Fri 11-Nov-16 10:46:29

I will ask about going in I think.

Boredomismyenemy Fri 11-Nov-16 10:47:02

There will be others without grandparents too, either through death, relationship breakdown, working commitments. I'm sure you could attend yourself to do crafts if you asked.

Highlandfling80 Fri 11-Nov-16 10:47:33

Good point golf. Hadn't thought of that.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Fri 11-Nov-16 10:47:47

3 out of 4 of ours are alive, one works full time and the other two live 200 miles away, so while I get your sadness, I don't necessarily think they'll be much pick up from the GPs. Mine would love to take part but they'll not take a day's holiday to spend it in school!

RebelSoldier Fri 11-Nov-16 10:47:50

Never heard of this.
Lots and lots of people don't have grandparents (alive or around).
At least she has parents, focus on the positive.
If you feel she'll miss out, volunteer another adult to go with her - the school wouldn't presumably say no if you ask.

harderandharder2breathe Fri 11-Nov-16 10:49:01

I had 4 grandparents throughout my childhood but they all lived far away so wouldn't have been able to attend this sort of thing

I'm sure she won't be the only one, many grandparents will be far away or working or family disputes as well as your situation

SinceYesterday Fri 11-Nov-16 10:50:13

Another one here where grandparents either live too far away or are in work so wouldn't be able to do this. Honestly, she will not be the only one.

Highlandfling80 Fri 11-Nov-16 10:51:58

Thank you.

Misselthwaite Fri 11-Nov-16 10:52:51

Mine had a mum's morning and a dad's morning. Which entailed 15mins reading with a parent. I couldn't do either morning and DH could only do the mum's one. It was fine. Never had grandparents day but with one set 100miles away and the other 250 neither would be popping in for one and my kids would definitely not be the only ones in that situation. I think its just a way of including people in their child's education.

KeithLeMonde Fri 11-Nov-16 11:03:15

Our school have a Community Day. Children can invite either grandparent(s) if they are alive, healthy and living locally. Or they are welcome to invite another member of the local community - a neighbour, family friend or other person who they think would like to come in, do an activity, hear some singing and be served a cup of tea. Sometimes they invite people from the local residential home along as well.

Perhaps you could suggest this to the school? It's a lovely way of encouraging the children to make supportive links with isolated people in the local area.

CMOTDibbler Fri 11-Nov-16 11:04:22

Ds's old school had grandparents day, which was a big thing and children got to do special things with their grandparents - and grandparents generally made huge efforts to be there.
DS has 4 grandparents alive - my mum has severe dementia, dad cares for her and is too frail to travel, dh's parents just aren't interested at all.
It broke my heart tbh and made ds really sad as it was such a visible reminder that there was never anyone (apart from me and dh) at plays, days out, holidays etc.
No parents allowed at their event

FRETGNIKCUF Fri 11-Nov-16 11:07:07

Grandparents day? Wow.

SatsukiKusakabe Fri 11-Nov-16 11:07:15

A lot of these days that are titled in this way are not that prescriptive in reality. It is just to encourage involvement in school life for members of the family that may be very closely involved with the child day to day, so they feel included, I think.

I have seen Mum's mornings with plenty of dads in attendance, and vice versa, uncles aunts and family friends in place of parents. There are always a few children who maybe have no one, but in practice it isn't always sad; they have an expectation that their parents or whoever can't be there and tend to be looked after by other mums or teaching assistants and are never left out. That has been my experience anyway.

ineedamoreadultieradult Fri 11-Nov-16 11:11:35

I hate that some schools are still doing this. At our school we have such a variety of family circumstances that anything like this (which we don't do very often at all) is called 'bring a grown up'. We have had mums, dads, granparents, aunties, uncles, cousins, siblings, foster carers, childminders, one little boy bought the Imam from his mosque and any children without adults and young enough to be bothered by this (usually up to about year 2) have great fun getting paired up with each other and pretending to be grown-ups.

UntilTheCowsComeHome Fri 11-Nov-16 11:12:42

When my DSs were at infants they had grandparents day, parents in for lunch and family activity days often.

Neither I or DH could go to one of the parents days because of work so my 19 yo brother went. DS was thrilled to have his uncle there and he even stayed to play at break time, he was very popular grin

He clearly wasn't a parent but was welcomed so I'm sure your school would be fine with you going in instead.

SatsukiKusakabe Fri 11-Nov-16 11:23:00

I have noticed though that they have started calling it 'craft morning' or 'reading cafe' this year, which is obviously better and more sensitive and reflective of what happens than putting particular relatives in.

Oly5 Fri 11-Nov-16 11:24:58

We have one at our school but all grandparents are dead. I'm going to go in myself!

Imsickofnamechanging Fri 11-Nov-16 11:30:33

OP first of all, this is unlikely to go beyond nursery.

Secondly remember that on Mother's day there will be many children who have lost their mother's. On father's day, many will have lost their father's or Father's 'missing in action'.
On Valentine's day, many would have lost a loved one.

Its all part of life, raise your dc, to be resilient and get on with it.
Maybe you can do something special with her instead. Get her GPs photos out and show them to her and talk about things they loved to do, or if you have any special recording of them in it, watch it together.

vanillavelvet Fri 11-Nov-16 11:35:40

We used to have Grandparents Day. It's been changed to 'Special Persons Day' so anyone can go.

Imsickofnamechanging Fri 11-Nov-16 11:39:27

Imagine the controversy of 'Special Person's Day' shock, how does one decide who is more special? i can see that splitting families up. At least GP's Day and is quite cut and dry.

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