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Family gathering, niece doesn't like dogs.

(371 Posts)
talksensetome Fri 11-Nov-16 10:35:00

We are having a family gathering tomorrow to mark 20 years since our mum died, therefore my brothers and sisters will all be there, along with partners and children.

My sister (sister2) is hosting, she is ok with dogs although doesn't own one anymore. I have a dog which I would like to take, he is a good dog and doesn't jump up or run around barking.

Our other sister (sister 1) has said she would rather I don't take the dog as my niece is scared of them.

I would usually get our younger sister (sister 3) to dog sit but given the occasion she will obviously be there too.

Would I be unreasonable to push it a little and ask could I take the dog and leave him in the kitchen? the children will probably be playing upstairs most of the evening and the smokers of the group tend to congregate in the kitchen so its easier to get to the back door.

I don't really want to leave Dog on his own all evening because he will cry, he doesn't get left alone for long periods usually.

So WIBU to make this suggestion and potentially put DSis 1 in a position she would rather not be or am I being one of THOSE dog owners?

TheLegendOfBeans Fri 11-Nov-16 10:38:24

Can you get a dog sitter - or a walker? Have you looked at borrowmydoggy? It's a site that "speed dates" you with folk in your area who have been vetted (pun intended) and can help out in situations you are describing.

Personally, I think it would be a shame to have anything potentially mar a family coming together to remember your loved mother. Tough one x

DailyMailDontStealMyThread Fri 11-Nov-16 10:42:12

In different circumstances I'd say take the dog but on this occasion I'd say no. Stick the radio on for your dog, give it a tasty kong to work on and don't make it a late one.

It's not worth the enevitable upset it will cause

AndShesGone Fri 11-Nov-16 10:44:01

You need the tailster app for dog sitting. It's brilliant.

MadHattersWineParty Fri 11-Nov-16 10:44:32

Way too short notice for Borrow My Doggy to be an option, since the event is tomorrow. Good option for future situations though.

How much notice were you given about not bringing the dog? If she's just sprung it on you I don't know what she expects you to do really so she's potentially being quite unreasonable. You either miss out or you take him and find away for him to stay out of your niece's way- how old is she- young enough to have a meltdown when confronted by a dog or old enough to understand the situation and just stay out of the dog's way?

mintthins Fri 11-Nov-16 10:45:16

I tend to agree. This is not the time to start getting your niece to accept your DDog. Another time though.

Cisoff Fri 11-Nov-16 10:46:26

You're being one of THOSE dog owners.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe Fri 11-Nov-16 10:46:27

Dog could stay with the smokers, I suppose.

Have you suggested that to your sister?

shockthemonkey Fri 11-Nov-16 10:46:41

You're not being one of THOSE dog owners, but I would agree that on this occasion, find someone who can come and sit with your dog or take him out on a lovely long walk.

Kong for when he gets home.

If that's impossible, will there be time for you to take him out on long walk before you leave, settle him with radio and kong (just leave without any fond good-byes as that can make them anxious!).

TheLegendOfBeans Fri 11-Nov-16 10:48:03

Do you have any friends with doggies who could take DDog for a "play date"?

Trifleorbust Fri 11-Nov-16 10:55:29

Or your dog could stay at home and enjoy clean air?

Leanback Fri 11-Nov-16 10:55:39

Sister 2 is hosting and she doesn't mind id probably take dog and leave it in the kitchen to be honest. It's not sister1's home. I would be keeping the dog firmly out the way though.

talksensetome Fri 11-Nov-16 10:56:08

Niece is 8 but the youngest daughter and quite mollycoddled so I don't want to chance Dsis getting a cob on and saying oh well we just won't come then. which is why I wanted to run it past you lot before I suggested it.

It only came up yesterday because I knew Dsis who was hosting wouldn't mind so I only mentioned it yesterday in the group chat, like oh you don't mind if I bring D do you? So my fault really for leaving late, I didn't know DN had a fear of dogs because they have had dogs themselves in the past!

I will ask around for another dog sitter, and wear him out with a super duper long walk before hand.

Thanks for the website suggestions, good to know about those for future.

itsmine Fri 11-Nov-16 10:56:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

talksensetome Fri 11-Nov-16 10:57:43

Trifle they wouldn't be smoking in the kitchen, they just tend to congregate there to be nearer the back garden to smoke and nearer the drinks I expect.

MadHattersWineParty Fri 11-Nov-16 10:58:33

I don't think anyone was suggesting the dog gets chain-smoked over, simply that he's in the kitchen where THE SMOKERS shock might congregate between stepping outside to have a fag.

Trifleorbust Fri 11-Nov-16 10:58:37

Fair enough.

MadHattersWineParty Fri 11-Nov-16 11:04:17

itsmine some dogs are perfectly chilled to be left alone for hours and some find it really stressful. There's not a one size fits all. I used to have a rescue dog that thought I was leaving forever every time I left the house and would go nuts and wreck the joint. Took about two years of training before he could be left alone for more than half an hour. I wonder why the niece is scared of dogs if the family have had them before.

FRETGNIKCUF Fri 11-Nov-16 11:05:56

It's a dog. Your niece is scared, you cannot take your dog.

Jesus Christ.

DixieWishbone Fri 11-Nov-16 11:08:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BabyGanoush Fri 11-Nov-16 11:09:28

just leave the dog at home, give him an extra long walk before you leave.

itsmine Fri 11-Nov-16 11:09:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DixieWishbone Fri 11-Nov-16 11:09:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nocabbageinmyeye Fri 11-Nov-16 11:10:49

People who bring their dogs to things/other people's houses are a pain in the hole, you have been told no just leave it. I'm not afraid of dogs and I would be hmm if anyone of my family arrived with theirs

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe Fri 11-Nov-16 11:10:57

I would imagine OP is perfectly aware of the fact that it's a dog FRET.
She was just asking for suggestions to try and find a mutualy agreeable solution, being a responsible owner.

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