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To feel like friend is using me?

(6 Posts)
SparkleFlutterShy Fri 11-Nov-16 09:37:13

It's been nearly 2 weeks since my brothers death and I'm still grieving.

My friend offered to stay at mine for a few days and tbh I don't know what she could do to help. However I did hint that I don't need her by saying its up to her if she wants to stay but there won't be much for her to do as I'm a full time student and DD is in nursery everyday.

She's been here for 2 days now and all she's done is lay about in my living room with her shoes on, left dirty plates and cups everywhere. Ignored DDs crying when I've had to tidy and spent most of her time staring at her phone.

I'm feeling annoyed and used. Why did she stay? She's leaving today and she wants me to walk her to the train station at the same time I have a lecture. So now I'm going to have to miss it angry

Arfarfanarf Fri 11-Nov-16 09:38:37

No you arent.

You can choose to miss it

But you dont have to miss it

You can say i cannot walk you to the station. I have a lecture to attend.

Arfarfanarf Fri 11-Nov-16 09:39:30

Also. If it was me. I'd be telling her how used i feel and that she's made things harder not easier.

StillRunningWithScissors Fri 11-Nov-16 09:40:11

You don't have to miss the lecture.

Tell her that if she wants to help (after all, that was her reason for staying with you), could she get herself to the station, as you're snowed under. Suggest she strips her bedding and pops it in the wash if you're feeling bold wink

wheresmyfairygodmother Fri 11-Nov-16 09:48:18

Sympathies on the loss of your brother flowers
What was your 'friend' thinking?! Is she usually like this or is it out of character? Often I feel people only show their true colour in times of highs & lows. Your experience would sour the friendship for me unless it was strong enough to talk through how she behaved & how you've felt at a later date when emotions aren't so volatile. It could just be immaturity if she's not lost anyone close or has no children. Or she could just be a selfish person. I also wouldn't miss the lecture, just draw her a map or she can follow a sat nav on her phone. If she has to leave when you do earlier than train is due offer to treat her to a newspaper to pass the time & ease your conscience.

Sugarpiehoneyeye Fri 11-Nov-16 10:30:52

Oh Sparkle, I'm so sorry about your DB, you poor love.
Your friend has been nothing but a waste of space in your home, a hindrance actually, adding stress to an already difficult time.
Listen up now, do not miss out on your lecture. It is important for your future and that of your daughter.
Your 'friend', is an adult, she is perfectly capable of walking to the station alone. If you do walk her there, she'll then want you to wait with her ...
Take control Sweet, don't be a doormat, you are worth so much more.
Tell her to set off earlier, to ensure she makes good time, get her out now, as you need to prepare for an important lecture.
You'll feel much better when she's gone.
Come back and tell us how you got on.🌸🌸🌸

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