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Not wanting to breastfeed

(409 Posts)
Cocklodger Fri 11-Nov-16 09:18:24

99.9 percent sure I'm going to be causing a bun fight, really hoping that doesn't happen.
My LG is a few days old. I don't want to breastfeed.
I just,don't want to. Its difficult, It feels unpleasant (I have tried) I really don't like it, Its much easier for me to FF and I know FF is almost as good.
When I told my MW I didn't want to I felt forced to try, still don't like it now.
But I've had a couple of (negative) comments already about it, I don't feel like elaborating hugely so just say ''I just don't want to'', soon to be ex h has had massive a strop about it, My sister and mother have commented also.
Is it U for these comments to be made?
Surely its my right to choose how my baby gets fed without judgement.

WaitrosePigeon Fri 11-Nov-16 09:21:32

Every time anybody comments negatively you just say 'it's none of your business, is it?'

ClopySow Fri 11-Nov-16 09:22:07

You don't have to. Don't feel pressured.

OohNoDooEy Fri 11-Nov-16 09:22:25

The majority quit BFing before 6 weeks for the same reasons - it hurts, it is difficult, the baby seems more settled on formula.

It isn't all or nothing - you can mix feed if you like.

People will comment on all aspects of your parenting unfortunately. I would practise saying something along the lines of 'we are doing what is best for all of us'

EveOnline2016 Fri 11-Nov-16 09:23:18

Nobody business apart from you.

Nothing wrong with FF

OrianaBanana Fri 11-Nov-16 09:24:10

Formula feed or breast feed, it's up to you. I suppose your baby's father has the right to an opinion but once he's voiced it and you have made up your mind, that should be it. Breastfeeding can be hard and it's you that would have to do it all. flowers

Cocklodger Fri 11-Nov-16 09:24:19

I was starting to very slightly think I was actually doing something wrong/that people had a right to comment.
Thanks MN wine

Soubriquet Fri 11-Nov-16 09:26:29

If you don't want to, don't

Formula is fine.

Your husband can stfu. Until he's been pregnant, given birth and then endured a baby chewing on the nipple he can piss off.

It's never as easy as the movies. It's very hard and it hurts!

Do what's best for you and your baby

SquirrelPaws Fri 11-Nov-16 09:26:32

You've tried it, it makes you feel uncomfortable, there's an adequate alternative. I can imagine it making it more difficult to bond with your baby if you force yourself to do something so intimate that makes you feel yuck' multiple times a day. Do what works for you and your baby.

I am hugely pro-breastfeeding and my answer would be different if you'd never tried it, but you are listening to your body and I think that's really important.

IAmAPaleontologist Fri 11-Nov-16 09:27:42

You've tried and it isn't for you.

That's fine. You kept and open mind and you gave it a go. Anyone who questions why you don't bf should keep their nose out of business that doesn't concern them. If you must answer then a simple "it just didn't work for us" will do just fine.

Congratulations on your baby

FleurThomas Fri 11-Nov-16 09:27:47

Formula nowadays is very good. No need to feel guilty or pay any attention to the bf mafia that is likely to try & piss all over this threadz

SquedgieBeckenheim Fri 11-Nov-16 09:28:10

As a person who BF'd, I say do whatever works for you and your baby. If that's FF then go for it. There is no right or wrong way, as long as you are happy and doing what your instincts are saying is right then you are doing your best as a mother. Yes, there are health benefits to breastmilk, but formula isn't poison is it? I know plenty of healthy people who were formula fed (myself included). No one cares once they're eating solids!

Isitadoubleentendre Fri 11-Nov-16 09:28:48

Put her onto formula and don't give it another thought. As a mum to a now 2 and 5 year old, trust me, its not worth the angst.

ParsnipSoup Fri 11-Nov-16 09:29:40

Your breasts your choice. I'm another very pro-breastfeeding person, but I firmly believe that the most important thing for a baby is a happy Mum. If you don't like breastfeeding then choosing to formula feed is certainly better than being miserable and no one should judge you for that.

Isitadoubleentendre Fri 11-Nov-16 09:29:42

the bf mafia

<sigh>

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints Fri 11-Nov-16 09:29:51

Nope, not U at all. I really wanted to with DC 1&2 but due to SCBU stays that meant I had to pump which resulted in no milk at all I bottle fed them. With dc3 I decided to FF from the start & I was much happier. I did BF dc4 (when the drs finally relented & gave me a blood test that proved my low prolactin levels) he had about 90% breastmilk for 14 months & I enjoyed it but I wouldn't have been upset if he'd had more formula.

My point is even if you don't BF this baby if you have another things may be completely different.

Yes is it VU for people to make comments. It us none of their business how she's fed.

doleritedinosaur Fri 11-Nov-16 09:30:48

You do what works for you.
You're not comfortable, you've tried but you're happier with formula & so will your baby.
My old midwife said happy mum is usually a happy baby.
Ignore everyone else, it's your body where your baby came from.
& congratulations!

Thinkingblonde Fri 11-Nov-16 09:32:11

No ones business but yours. Nothing wrong with ff. I started breastfeeding with my first baby, managed for a few weeks then gave up. We were both better for it.

mum2Bomg Fri 11-Nov-16 09:33:08

Do what makes you happy. I already know I don't want to even try. It's my body and it's up to me. I know what will make me happy and a good Mum and what will make me miserable. I wouldn't even answer people who question it. I had a man trying to give me breastfeeding advice the other day hmm

SquirrelPaws - are you only allowed an opinion if you have tried hard and then decided? I disagree.

DoloresVanCartier Fri 11-Nov-16 09:33:33

I didn't BF, I had no intention of doing it, the thought made me very uncomfortable to the point I could barely talk about it. Seeing mothers BF doesn't bother me in the slightest it just absolutely wasn't for me.
It's your baby and your decision.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Fri 11-Nov-16 09:33:46

I breastfed DD1 for 14 months, I formula fed DD2 who is now 15 months. I am yet to see a discernable difference in the two, both very healthy, DD2 just as bright and forward as DD1 was etc.

Expecting DC3 anytime now and they will also be formula fed, and I feel nothat an ounce of guilt about it. If I don't, I know my already suffering mental health will deteriorate massively because I need time to myself, and DP is more than capable of caring for the baby whilst I have it.

Do whatever works for you and bollocks to anyone else smile

Cocklodger Fri 11-Nov-16 09:34:02

Phew.
I'm not so much worried about ex/h. He bitched because I was considering breastfeeding (while I was pregnant and we were together) and tried to put me off it so he could feed the baby, Honestly his opinion is based on mine. He wants to do the opposite. and quite frankly when he grows a pair of lactating tits he's more than welcome to BF. Means she gets the benefits and I don't have sore, uncomfortable tits and he gets to feel righteous. Fabulous. triple win. although I can't see that happening grin
Any good responses I can give to nosy nay sayers?

AyeAmarok Fri 11-Nov-16 09:35:01

"we're doing what works best for both of us" and repeat on a loop.

Unfortunately you will people piling in on this thread and IRL making judgements and telling you that you're selfish. It's their insecurities making them do it, don't let it get you down.

PenelopeChipShop Fri 11-Nov-16 09:35:08

It's your body and your choice. You've tried - which is good I think. I would say it's worth trying - but it isn't working for you physically or emotionally. So best to move on to FF. you don't need our permission!

Bonding through feeding is v important and if you don't like BF then you will be better able to bond through FF. therefore it's the best choice for you. And that's coming from someone who let their oldest self wean aged 3! Different mums different choices, it's all good x

freewheezy Fri 11-Nov-16 09:37:29

I bf my almost 5mo and people have already been asking for a month or so when I will be stopping and switching to formula. You really can't win! Do whatever you think is best. Smile and change the subject.

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