Advanced search

To say this is enough?

(10 Posts)
Rattusn Thu 10-Nov-16 20:20:17

Dd (6) has met at least 6 of FIL'S girlfriends.

He changes relationships on a regular basis, is never single, and is unfaithful to his girlfriends. This is his personal life, but aibu to say I don't want dd to meet any more of his girlfriends? This is on the basis they are never around for long, and it is pointless her forming relationships with them, and I don't want her involved in his frequently changing relationships.

Dh think I am bu, and it has caused a lot of arguments. FIL refused to come to dd's birthday party unless he could bring his current gf.

Patriciathestripper1 Thu 10-Nov-16 20:30:13

Yanbu she dosnt need to meet a string of strangers it will be unsettling, confusing and a bad example of relationships. You don't say how long they last but something like a 6 month rule might be an option where if they last 6months then yes meet her, anything less then keep them away. If you can't put that to him uourself ask Dh to broach the subject and tell him as a grandad he is expected to be there. On his own.

harderandharder2breathe Thu 10-Nov-16 21:11:23

I think it depends on how they're introduced. If it's as a long term figure in her life then yadnbu but if it's just as a friend of her grandfathers then why not? It's good for kids to have relationships with different adults. Obviously be sensible about keeping her happy and safe like not being left alone with granddads latest girlfriend, but if he's there and they behave appropriately then I don't think it's always a bad thing. Your DD doesn't have to have close relationships with these women!

ConvincingLiar Thu 10-Nov-16 21:11:51

Don't tell him he's expected to be there, do tell him the invitation isn't extended to his current girlfriend.

TaterTots Thu 10-Nov-16 21:18:11

I think you're being a bit precious. It's not as if these women are potential stepmums. How much is this really going to affect a six year-old's life?

Rattusn Thu 10-Nov-16 21:52:35

tater for example she got to know and like his old girlfriend, then she disappeared, like the rest of them.

A time rule is difficult, as he says that current girlfriend has been around for a long time, when the reality is that she has been one of many.

I made it clear that the invite to her birthday was not extended. He then decided to stop and say he wouldn't come without current girlfriend. I thought this is extremely inappropriate, as her birthday is about her, and we only invited her friends and family.

Rattusn Fri 11-Nov-16 21:00:41

Any further advice, should I leave it knowing bringing it up creates arguments?

Other relatives have also said they feel awkward about his insistence on bringing a stream of girlfriends to family events. confused

CheddarGorgeous Fri 11-Nov-16 21:03:21

I really don't think it's that big a deal. Just introduce the girlfriends as FIL's friend. I can't imagine they are particularly interesting to a six year old.

ohfourfoxache Fri 11-Nov-16 21:04:41

This isn't about fil, it's about your dd and what is best for her

ConvincingLiar Fri 11-Nov-16 21:14:55

I'd breezily say "ok then, don't come. DD will be disappointed grandad's not coming".

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now