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AIBU?

To ask if you think this person sounds like an alcoholic?

47 replies

ConcernedNiece · 09/11/2016 21:05

She gets drunk every night and has done for years. She never drinks during the day and has always managed to hold down a job but every evening/night she drinks and will always without fail end up drunk.

There have been a couple of times where she has ended up falling when drunk and needed to receive hospital treatment for injuries resulting from these falls. She also has high blood pressure and despite only being in her early 50's she had a heart attack last year.

Whilst she was in hospital after her heart attack she was told to cut down on alcohol and she promised to only drink once or twice a week. However she didn't keep her promise and continues to get drunk every night.

Does she sound like an alcoholic or just a binge/heavy drinker?

OP posts:
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Spurtle · 09/11/2016 21:06

Alcoholic. No doubt about it.

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nephrofox · 09/11/2016 21:07

An alcoholic

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GreenDaisies · 09/11/2016 21:07

Is this you or someone you are close to?

This is helpful...
www.drinkaware.co.uk/selfassessment

But from what you've said it sounds like they need to seek help.

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Waffles80 · 09/11/2016 21:08

It might be hard to hear this, but I would say that these were the behaviours of an alcoholic.

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aforestgrewandgrew · 09/11/2016 21:09

Alcoholic of course. There are many different types of alcoholic.

If she's holding down her job without issues she's a functioning alcoholic.

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ConcernedNiece · 09/11/2016 21:13

You see I'd say she was an alcoholic too. However other people don't agree with me because she doesn't drink during the day and holds down a job.

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ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout · 09/11/2016 21:13

Definitely a functioning alcoholic.

And I'm sorry to say that just because you're 'functioning', it doesn't mean that colleagues, friends, etc don't know. They do. Please get help if this is about yourself.

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Trifleorbust · 09/11/2016 21:16

If she can neither stop not cut down her drinking significantly so that her health isn't at risk, she is an alcoholic in my opinion. Good luck, OP.

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chipsandgin · 09/11/2016 21:17

Hmm. Strange phrasing so presuming it is you? You don't say how much you/she drinks which would be a factor I guess. How much alcohol are we talking?

However continuing to drink every day despite medical advice, a heart attack and being hospitalised for falls is several red flags right there. Also I think you know the answer already, us confirming it won't change anything will it?

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chipsandgin · 09/11/2016 21:20

Ah x-posted - so not you then? But what I said still stands, people telling you/her she is an alcoholic won't change anything unless the person wants to make a change. Plenty of alcoholics hold down jobs, that isn't relevant really, they aren't all slumped in doorways with a dog on a string! Any chance you could be less cryptic?

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BratFarrarsPony · 09/11/2016 21:24

Yes alcoholic -

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ConcernedNiece · 09/11/2016 21:26

Sorry it's not about me. It's my aunt.

Everyone knows she has a problem with drink but nobody says she is an alcoholic. Everyone just says "she likes to drink" or is a binge drinker.

But I think that if someone was simply a very heavy drinker then they would/would be able to stop/cut down if their health was at risk and they'd been warned about it by doctors. I also think that if you got drunk to the point where falling down stairs and splitting your head open wasn't an uncommon occurrence then that would make you think "shit, maybe drinking isn't a good idea and I should stop."

I'm asking because I think she's an alcoholic but I'm the only one who seems to think so. I posted this because I wanted to make sure that I wasn't overreacting but it looks like I'm not Sad

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GreenDaisies · 09/11/2016 21:27

I think unfortunately unless the person wants to change themselves there's very little you can do. It is horrible to see someone you love harming themselves like that though.

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ConcernedNiece · 09/11/2016 21:27

My aunt will never admit to being an alcoholic.

She doesn't even call herself a binge drinker. She just says she likes to drink and have fun and how boring her life would be if she stopped.

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Boomerwang · 09/11/2016 21:29

I'd say she was an alcohol abuser for sure, but bit fuzzy on being an actual alcoholic. The fact she does it every night points towards relying on alcohol to blur reality to a point where she is unable to live a normal life without it, which is alcoholism, but being able to abstain all day long and hold down a job says to me that it's just a really bad habit which could be broken with the right incentives. Having a heart attack should be all it takes but if she has little regard for her life (and probably very depressed I should imagine) then the incentive would be finding someone else worth living for.

I've been through periods of very heavy drinking in my life yet managed to stay employed and sober in the daytime but I'm not an alcoholic.

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Greengoddess12 · 09/11/2016 21:29

Hate a drip feed op is it you? If yes then no I don't think you are an alcoholic ( worked with alcoholics) you are a life style drinker who could change your behaviour if you choose to address it and either stop yourself with will power or get professional help to change your behaviour

If it's a friend or family member you can't do anything it's up to them to address the problem and take action.

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Greengoddess12 · 09/11/2016 21:32

Oh right so it's not you.

Your aunt is an adult and it's her choice.

You need to back off sorry unless children are involved.

She's been warned and chooses the life she wants.

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Trifleorbust · 09/11/2016 21:46

The thing is that the label 'alcoholic' makes no difference to what your aunt is doing. You may yourself be doing more harm than good if you are trying to get her to 'admit' to something. What are you hoping for here?

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Matchingbluesocks · 09/11/2016 21:48

I completely agree with trifle ^^ the label doesn't change the situation at all

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Squeegle · 09/11/2016 21:50

Yes, it doesn't really matter what you call it, she is indulging in damaging behaviours. However if she doesn't want to stop and doesn't see there is a problem there is not a lot you can do. Calling her an official alcoholic won't change that.

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userformallyknownasuser1475360 · 09/11/2016 21:51

Only your aunt will be able to say if she is alcoholic whether she does or not is up to her.

Only your aunt will know if she can abstain from alcohol without ill effects or if she can stop at one drink.

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Wolfiefan · 09/11/2016 21:52

I'm guessing the people who say she isn't an alcoholic either just don't want to confront the issue or have their own unhealthy relationships with alcohol. Sorry.

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BratFarrarsPony · 09/11/2016 21:54

I agree with Wolfie

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Nicky333 · 09/11/2016 21:56

I used to be like this. I drank every night, on my own, and I'd leave from a weekend away early so I could get home and drink. I didn't drink during the day and I also had a full-time job. I called myself an alcoholic.

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Squeegle · 09/11/2016 21:57

The definition of alcoholic is someone for whom alcohol causes problems in their life. I would say that it causes some problems in hers. But she needs to recognise that she has problems which will improve if she stops drinking.

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