Birthday parties - AIBU?

[happyg0lucky]

My dd is in year 1. The parents still tends to do whole class birthday parties. My dd doesn't play with all of the kids and I find the cost of buying presents for 30 different parties can really eat into my budget so sometimes I turn down invitations and say we are busy. Is that really anti-social? DD doesn't care and I think the whole class birthday party can sometimes be a bit of an excuse for parents to show off how much money they have spent (they tend to get more extravagant every year). AIBU not to take her to every one?

[Underthemoonlight]

No we do the same I would make an effort if they were close and play together

[FarAwayHills]

YANBU I did exactly the same. Attending 30+ kids parties a year is expensive and exhausting. Thankfully the number of whole class parties tends to reduce after year 1.

[Allthebestnamesareused]

I am glad to see that you are polite enough to let people know when she can't make it because that is always annoying when there are no RSVPs so people cater for the number invited.

[CalebHadToSplit]

As long as you RSVP, and your DD isn't bothered, then it's fine.

My son is in Reception and I have done one whole class party so far - not to show off, but to be inclusive. I also don't know any of the parents and my son seems to play with different children every day, so hard to know who to pick. About half came. 9 didn't RSVP either way, which was added stress in terms of food / activities / party bags etc.

[RiverTam]

Never done whole class parties, and only been invited to one (a child in reception whose birthday was close to the start of term).
Stick to your child's actual friends.

[2014newme]

No its fine. Just go to the best friends

[KC225]

I think it's fine if your DD only wants to go to parties of closer friends. But I do think you are spiteful to say that the other parties are an excuse to show off how much money they have spent. I hope your daughter grows up to appreciate the effort and the generosity of the other parents.

[SpookyMooky]

Of course not. I doubt anyone is at all miffed to have 20 or 25 accept rather than 30. Don't be afraid to get cheaper gifts though, it's a gesture not a competition.