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Teenage sons food demands / trouble at meal times

(100 Posts)
Boom123 Wed 09-Nov-16 18:57:39

Today as I picked my son up from school he did his usual thing of asking what was for dinner.

The last three nights he's had KFC, and two meals of his choice cooked from a cook book but tonight I said these are the options I'm not doing anything from the book! This was at 3.30 and despite and hours break from 4-5 we have argued about this with him throwing good food in the bin, frozen food on the floor and constantly looking in the cupboards whilst staying that I'm pathetic, don't listen, that the food is rubbish and he's starving.

I've cooked the food (steak and chips) and said take it or leave it to then find the dog running towards me with the steak in his mouth! The arguement thrb escalated to things he hates about me and how he prefers his dad and time with him, (we shared the kids 50/50). What would you advise as I've said I'm the adult, I haven't got an endless supply of money. I've briefly messaged my ex not asking him to have a word but to see if he's like it with him and for his advice as previously he's sided with my son nf told me to deal with it.

MiniCooperLover Wed 09-Nov-16 18:59:44

How old is he?

Pipistrelle40 Wed 09-Nov-16 19:00:22

My smacking hand is itching just reading this!

scurryfunge Wed 09-Nov-16 19:01:17

Give him a cash budget for the week that will allow him to choose and cook his own meals. If he can't commit to that, then it's a take it or leave it option, no discussion.

WorryMcStressHead Wed 09-Nov-16 19:01:32

Lol Pipistrelle grin

FannyFifer Wed 09-Nov-16 19:01:44

How old is he? Tell him to cook his own fucking tea.
How dare he throw food in bin & give it to dog. I would read him the riot act.

Ragwort Wed 09-Nov-16 19:02:42

I think I'd be tempted to leave him with his Dad for a bit if this is how he treats you; can you calmly say 'as you clearly prefer living with Dad shall we make it a permanent arrangement?' Depends on how much you want him to live with you I suppose but his behaviour sounds horrible. sad

MyballsareSandy2015 Wed 09-Nov-16 19:03:33

Jesus id go ape shit about this.

BabyGanoush Wed 09-Nov-16 19:04:09

? What strange, troubling behaviour

He seems to be very angry? Whst is ge angry about, is it really just the food?

How old is he?

MyballsareSandy2015 Wed 09-Nov-16 19:04:19

Stop picking him up from school for a start!

SpaceToad Wed 09-Nov-16 19:04:45

Stop cooking for him. Simple. He sorts himself out or he goes hungry.

Boom123 Wed 09-Nov-16 19:05:06

My ex punched me hence me deciding to leave so I have been told by my son that I left daddy because he hit me so if I try anything I'm a hypocrite

legotits Wed 09-Nov-16 19:05:10

Teenagers don't last long on hunger strike.

Cook the meal that you planned to.
He either eats it or doesn't but don't pander to it.

Amandahugandkisses Wed 09-Nov-16 19:06:29

I have never said this in my life but my Goodness he needs a good hiding

legotits Wed 09-Nov-16 19:06:45

If he still calls him Daddy it sounds like he is winding you up..

Boom123 Wed 09-Nov-16 19:06:57

I have said live with your dad if that's what would make you happy a few times but his dad says he can't due to work (we all work I say)

lljkk Wed 09-Nov-16 19:07:08

sympathies flowers
Both of my teens have had Mahoosive tantrums about lack of take away pizza... on repeat loop.
Stand your ground. It's okay for food to be boring.

JustCallMeKate Wed 09-Nov-16 19:07:15

Does his father pander to his tantrums?

There is not a chance in hell he'd be treating me this way nor wasting food. He needs to learn you're not his personal chef. You gave him a choice, he could take it or leave it. I'm gobsmacked you allow this behaviour OP.

user1471950254 Wed 09-Nov-16 19:07:33

I'd be leaving him to cook his own meals and grounding him for that behaviour

Trifleorbust Wed 09-Nov-16 19:07:48

Just be really calm and clear with him: you will cook what you have in. Sometimes this will be a meal of his choice, sometimes not. If he doesn't like it, he can go hungry. He has no right to dictate to you what you are going to cook for him.

ratspeaker Wed 09-Nov-16 19:07:53

About time he was learning to cook for himself.
He should help shop for ingredients, prepare them and cook.

Id have gone nuts if any of my DC had disrespected me like that.

Sparlklesilverglitter Wed 09-Nov-16 19:07:59

A teenager should know better and I would plate up dinner very much with a take it or leave it attitude!

It is possible you do meals differently to his Dad but he needs to understand you parent in different ways and that's life!

Is this behaviour only started recently? Is there any change in yours or his dad's life (new dp or anything) ? Everything ok at school (no bullying or such like) ?

Greengoddess12 Wed 09-Nov-16 19:08:42

Ok then no there's obviously more to the s than meets the eye op.

My teens just wouldn't have dared but my dh would support me in a heartbeat as I would him.

Thinking this behaviour is down to yours and your dhs relationship

SavageBeauty73 Wed 09-Nov-16 19:08:53

Bloody hell my 14 year old is a pain the arse but wouldn't act like that. Is this a one off? I would impose serious sanctions.

Boom123 Wed 09-Nov-16 19:09:27

If I'd have got a McDonalds etc then none of this would have happened but I'm not running around like a personal assistant etc so have told him no tonight. 'My daughter is fine with this and is never disillusioned thinking she's the boss etc

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