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Career or children?

(12 Posts)
Pinky145 Wed 09-Nov-16 15:35:10

More of a dilemma than a AIBU.
Basically.. I started university when my son was 8 months old. Graduated in July and in a OKish settled job. We've been ttc since start of the year with a MC in between. However I have a job interview in a couple of weeks for a job I really want. Which obviously would mean the TTC would have to be put on hold, don't really want to be or get pregnant a few months into the job. With a nearly 4year old who constantly asks for a sibling along with constantly being broody. What should I do? To go for the job or continue ttc?

Pinky145 Wed 09-Nov-16 15:35:58

To add I am mid 20s but really don't want children after 30.

NapQueen Wed 09-Nov-16 15:37:16

If you got the job you could give yourself 18m in the role before ttc ing and still be under 30

fluffandsnuff Wed 09-Nov-16 15:50:33

I kind of went through this (although hated old job rather than loved the idea of the new one). Switched jobs, and started trying after a couple of months.

My point is, who says you can't aim for both? You might not get the job, but at least you tried, or you might not get pregnant, but at least you would be happy at work.

Pinky145 Wed 09-Nov-16 15:58:18

Yes I may not get the job although I am actively looking to further my career at this point. I may also not conceive either. But what worries me the most for some reason is the age difference that would be between my children if I were to put it on hold, but then I also want to better myself. Really don't know what to do.
If I hadn't of had my son so young then it wouldn't have bothered me, I would have got a decent job first and then children second but hey ho it's how it pans out sometimes.

Allthebestnamesareused Wed 09-Nov-16 16:04:14

I had first child when I was 28, qualified as a solicitor at 30, had 3 miscarriages between first and second child at 37. ( year age gap. They are the best of friends and there has never been any fighting as they are not direct rivals. Now they are 14 and 15 and have a fab relationship.

Definitely get your career on track then give it another go. By the time I had my second we were financially secure enough for me to be a SAHM which I didn't have the luxury of first time round.

Allthebestnamesareused Wed 09-Nov-16 16:05:02

9 year age gap that was supposed to be!

Allthebestnamesareused Wed 09-Nov-16 16:05:30

good grief - now they are 24 and 15 - what am I like?

JustHappy3 Wed 09-Nov-16 16:06:51

Go for the job. Life is too short to hold yourself back. What if you miss the chance because you are ttc and it never happens. Sorry that's awfully blunt i know. Would your dh hold off on a similar opportunity? If not why should you?

flownthecoopkiwi Wed 09-Nov-16 16:07:09

Both? I found out I was pregnant with my first child the day i accepted my current job. The advice is to get as high as you can, then get pregnant, give yourself a year or two to settle in to both.

We have two children now and I have worked part time since my first. It's better to get the better paying and more interesting job prior to maternity leave.

Believeitornot Wed 09-Nov-16 16:08:25

Just go for the interview and try and conceive once you're in the job a few months. Or just ttc anyway.

Neither might happen right now or one might.

The gap is already going to be fairly big so don't worry too much.

Pinky145 Wed 09-Nov-16 19:15:28

Thank you all for replying. You've helped me understand it better and I think I will go for it if I get the job. Fingers crossed X

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