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Aibu to feel I should call the police?

(10 Posts)
snow123 Wed 09-Nov-16 12:32:06


I had an ex partner in 2011 who was very abusive. We broke up and he continued to harass me until January this year. There's a thread somewhere on this but I can't find it. I sent lawyers letters asking it to stop but never involved the police as I felt it was partly my fault. Anyway I am now in therapy and getting my life back together (fiancée, baby) and today he has friend requested me on Instagram.

I know it seems like nothing but it has massively shaken me. Would I be unreasonable to report this (and previous messages) to the police? I live in the U.K. I'm just a bit worried I'll be laughed at. Obviously I'm not planning on calling 999. Would it be taken seriously or is it a waste of police time?

PilkoPumpPants Wed 09-Nov-16 12:33:26

You can't ring the police over him sending you a friend request. Block him on it and try to forget about it, I know it's easier said than done but don't react to him.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp Wed 09-Nov-16 12:36:38

No. no you can't call the police over a request

Block and carry on

Liiinoo Wed 09-Nov-16 12:45:05

The police are for criminal activity. This man sending you a friend request is upsetting and unsettling but not actually illegal. If I were you I would make a note of it (time, date,screen shot) just in case it is the start of some sort of harassment. Then block him and carry on enjoying your new life. Living well is the best revenge.

NavyandWhite Wed 09-Nov-16 12:50:11

I agree that as far as I'm aware of the police won't do anything unless there was an injunction against him contacting you.

I'm sorry it's shaken you. I understand how it would. Block him on all social media and your phone if you haven't already.

Deep breaths and keep looking ahead.

Italiangreyhound Wed 09-Nov-16 13:03:14

Snow good luck, be strong. XXXXXXX

Lemon12345 Wed 09-Nov-16 13:05:25

I agree with PP. I don't think there is much the police can do now. If you had contacted them before when you sent lawyer letters then that would've been understandable and they could of enforced it. But over a friends request when he's been out of your life for months I think is a bit drastic. I can however understand why you are shaken and why it's knocked you.
As a PP said, take a screenshot if you can, note the time and date etc but block him from everything that you can. Don't have ways for him to contact you. If you have any mutual friends think about if you can cut ties with them if you think there is any chance they will give him any contact details.

Bodear Wed 09-Nov-16 13:09:33

Having been in this situation, I did speak to the police and they were great. They called him, had a chat and told him to leave me alone. He didn't have to follow that request but it made me feel better as it put a very clear line in the sand regarding my wishes. In my case it worked but even if it hadn't there would have been a record of my conversation with the police (and theirs with him) to fall back on at a later point.

Good luck.

NavyandWhite Wed 09-Nov-16 13:15:39

That's reassuring Bodear. Glad to see that the police were instrumental in stopping your ex from harassing you. Did you ring 101?

Bodear Wed 09-Nov-16 13:35:30

Yes I called 101 - it certainly wasn't an emergency. I really couldn't have asked for them to deal with it any better than they did.

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