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AIBU?

Vegetarian or not!!

132 replies

twocockersarebetterthanone · 09/11/2016 10:00

We've invited my family for Christmas but one is a vegetarian. Now I've got no problem with that (and will cater accordingly) BUT she's said she eats fish. How the hell does that work? She's a veggie for animal welfare not Heath beliefs so how can she justify a fish, but not say a turkey, being killed to eat.

AIBU to want to (but obviously won't)!say you'll get what you're given. Just don't get it - someone please enlighten me!!

OP posts:
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SEsofty · 09/11/2016 10:02

She's not vegetarian. Full stop.

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ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 09/11/2016 10:02

Not many people know the term "pescetarian" - sometimes it's easier to say vegetarian and eat fish.

Pisses me off too though.

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gleam · 09/11/2016 10:05

Well, how do you justify a turkey being eaten but not a dog? Same sort of thinking.

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JustSpeakSense · 09/11/2016 10:07

She is a pescatarian

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ZoeTurtle · 09/11/2016 10:08

She's not vegetarian.

As a host, you still need to cater to her diet, even if incorrectly labelled.

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SpeakNoWords · 09/11/2016 10:10

She's a pescetarian, not a vegetarian. For some reason people seem to prefer to say they're a vegetarian that eats fish (not logically possible!) than to explain what pescetarian means. I have no idea why people exclude fish from being an animal. I have been asked countless times if I eat fish immediately after saying I'm vegetarian, it gets very annoying.

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arethereanyleftatall · 09/11/2016 10:11

100% of the Vegitarians I know are in fact pescatarians.

And, I agree with you, it's attention seeking nonsense.

Eat whatever you like, or don't, just don't give it a label and puff yourself up all sanctimoniously.

Yanbu.

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PurpleDaisies · 09/11/2016 10:12

It is pretty common for people who only eat fish to call themselves vegetarian. It's not correct though.

It's up to her which meats she eats and which she doesn't though. I don't eat duck or rabbit for no logical reason-just too many fluffy pets and I like ducks! You would be unreasonable to say eat what you're given.

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AwaywiththePixies27 · 09/11/2016 10:13

I'm a vegetarian. I don't eat fish, or haribos for that matter. (pork gelatine used I believe).

If she eats fish. She isn't a vegetarian she's a pescatarian.

You shouldn't have to but can you just cater for her accordingly, with a big fat piece of 'vegetarian' salmon Wink and just smile through gritted teeth whilst thinking of happy Christmas thoughts?

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honeyroar · 09/11/2016 10:14

I get very tired of people being so unforgiving of people doing things step by step. I became veggie (or pescatarian) about 18 months ago. I still eat fish and dairy, but intend to stop that in the future when I'm used to not eating meat. I'm already eating a lot less fish and dairy now.

I find it weird that other veggies get so holier than though and it becomes a contest. Any step forward in not eating meat and caring about animal welfare is a good move, in my opinion.

Twocockers perhaps she said that because she thought she was trying to make catering for her easier?? I really don't know why you've got such a bee in your bonnet! Just stick a tiny nut roast in the oven with the rest of the stuff, or ask her to bring it with you and have some Bisto available to make gravy (their beef Bisto is veggie). It hardly disrupts you too much. And get your judgey pants out of your backside?

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AwaywiththePixies27 · 09/11/2016 10:15

Speak I have gad that so many times too!

"so will you eat fish then?".

Err. No. Because it's not vegetarian. Grin

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chunkymum1 · 09/11/2016 10:16

I agree with ItsAll- she is pescetarian but either does not know the terminology or assumes that others don't. My understanding of why some people make this choice for animal welfare reasons is that they see fish as having a more natural life before being killed than a factory farmed mammal. Some people still seem to believe that fish don't feel pain like other animals but I'm pretty sure that anyone who has looked in to animal rights at all will have come across lots of literature to debunk this myth.

I don't eat any meat or fish and like others, it pisses me off when people who eat fish describe themselves as vegetarian mainly because this leads to me and my DC frequently being offered fish in restaurants etc because 'some vegetarians eat fish'. I have also had the embarrassment of going to a new friend's house for dinner and being presented with the lovingly prepared 'vegetarian' main course only to find that it is salmon and a favourite with her other 'vegetarian' friend.

But from an animal rights point of view I suppose not eating mammals means fewer animals suffering so I'm OK with that- just call yourself a pescetarian.

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ZoeTurtle · 09/11/2016 10:16

honeyroar It's not being unforgiving of people taking steps. It's being annoyed at them incorrectly using a label (as you did in your post) which means "vegetarian" dishes in restaurants often include fish. It makes life harder for actual vegetarians. Don't do it.

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ShowMeTheElf · 09/11/2016 10:18

Don't worry about her definition. Just make sure that your roast potatoes are cooked in vegetable oil and serve a salmon en croute alongside the turkey.
She can just avoid the meaty stuff and eat the vegetables and fish.

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PurpleDaisies · 09/11/2016 10:18

I find it weird that other veggies get so holier than though and it becomes a contest. Any step forward in not eating meat and caring about animal welfare is a good move, in my opinion.

The problem is that actual vegetarians are given fish because non-vegetarians like yourself call yourself vegetarian.

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ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 09/11/2016 10:19

I used to be vegetarian and I am now pescatarian. I describe myself as a non meat eater as a lot of people don't really know what pescatarian means. I don't describe myself as vegetarian because I had so many problems when I was veggie with people assuming I would eat fish that I don't want to add to that confusion.

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PoldarksBreeches · 09/11/2016 10:21

I'm a life long vegetarian (a real one) and this bothers me only inasmuch as it makes people think that fish is a vegetarian option. Otherwise I don't care what people call themselves and I'm happy to consider fellow non meat eaters as one of us.

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SpeakNoWords · 09/11/2016 10:22

I'm totally happy for people to be pescetarian rather than eating all types of meat, it's a step in the right direction from my point of view. As is eating less meat generally, especially cheap poor welfare meat. But don't incorrectly call it being vegetarian when it isn't. It's unhelpful to vegetarians who have to deal with the confusion caused. If someone only ate chicken no one would call them a vegetarian!

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FiddleFigs · 09/11/2016 10:24

It is not attention-seeking nonsense. Don't be so bloody intolerant arethereanyleftatall!

I am a pescetarian. I do sometimes just say that I'm vegetarian - it's much less hassle than having to explain what a pescatarian is. Often in the past, if I said I didn't eat meat, I'd be served chicken (because some people don't think this is "meat"!).

If you don't want to cater to someone's dietary requirements, then don't host a dinner. Otherwise, chill the f* out and buy a nut roast - MIL always gets me the M&S Christmas special for my Xmas dinner, and I love it.

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Stilllivinginazoo · 09/11/2016 10:28

away there are veggie haribo sweets(fizzy spaghetti and giant strawbs)
My dd2 a veggie. When invited to dinner with friends her reply to what do you eat is nothing that ever had a faceWink
She gets cross when asked why doesn't eat tuna sandwiches!!

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FlipperSkipper · 09/11/2016 10:30

I'm vegetarian and the thing that annoys me about pescatarians describing themselves as vegetarian is that it results in some restaurants thinking fish is an acceptable vegetarian option, and once I was served salmon at a wedding reception, when I said I couldn't eat it I was told that was the vegetarian option and there was nothing else, so I ended up eating potatoes and green beans for my meal.

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SpeakNoWords · 09/11/2016 10:32

FiddleFigs when you say you're vegetarian do you then get served fish or ask for fish? Or are you happy to have the vegetarian option in that situation?

Does anyone know why "meat" is usually taken to mean "not-fish"? Fish is meat, surely?

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bigmouthstrikesagain · 09/11/2016 10:41

My dear late Uncle Terry was very disgruntled by my refusal to eat chicken at his house last year. Me : "I am a vegetarian"[behold my tasty avocado salad from M&s]
Uncle T: "but this is chicken, chicken isn't meat!?!"
Me: Sigh

I am more tolerant these days of peskytarians making life difficult for us "proper" vegetarians as life is too short. I am good at clarifying what I will and won't eat and as i cook Christmas dinner it is 100% ovo-lacto-vegetarian (if you want to get technical). Folks get fed well and never get any complaints only complements - so my folks are polite folks Grin

Christmas is not a time for petty point scoring - cook up a storm leave everyone stuffed with marvellous food they are happy to eat. Jobs done innit Grin

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SootSprite · 09/11/2016 10:44

I know someone who claims to be a 'vegetarian, apart from fish', which then allows her to launch into a long 'pescitarian' waffle.

We went out recently and she chose to eat at a fish and chips shop that cooks the chips in beef dripping. But that was okay as 'well, me not eating them won't save the cow and besides, they're yummy'. I kid you not. Face. Palm.

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FiddleFigs · 09/11/2016 10:50

Speak no, when I say I'm vegetarian, I stick to the veggie option - I've don't think I've been offered fish in those scenarios, and I don't expect it. I really love veggie food, so often will choose it over a fish option.

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