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(26 Posts)
Sunshine511 Tue 08-Nov-16 20:55:04

Hi everyone,

Hoping some of you lot can either tell me I'm being an idiot or tell me I'm in the right!

Myself & my husband quit smoking a number of years ago. Me being the heavier smoker and definitely the more dependant on nicotine. It was important to me

IpDipCatnip Tue 08-Nov-16 20:56:48

Posted too soon OP?

Ginmakesitallok Tue 08-Nov-16 20:58:27

Come back!

Sunshine511 Tue 08-Nov-16 21:05:54

* wooops, accidentally clicked post before i'd finished writing it.

It was important to me for us both to quit before starting a family and I made that clear. My husband was of the exact same opinion.

Having been quit for a number of years and now having 2 children (youngest 6 months), my husband had today come home from work and told me he's started vaping. I've told him that I really wish he'd re-think because we'be both done so well to quit and I think this would be a massive backwards step. He's said that he's taken my comments on board but that he definitely wants to vape and won't be re-thinking it!

I've always thought we were a great team and always tried to support each other as best we can. I'm always very supportive of him in all he does and sacrifice my own ambitions at times for him to have certain opportunities but I'm just so disappointed that he doesn't seem to care about my feelings when it comes to this. Of course it's his body and it's his choice but he said that his desire to vape is stronger than my desire for him not to.

Sorry, this looks so petty having written it down but I suppose the thing I'm most hurt by is actually just how dismissive he's been of my feelings. I should also add that I can count on one hand the number of times I've openly been unsupportive of a choice he has made or is making since we met. Maybe I'm just expecting too much. Thanks in advance for your help, even if you all come back to say I'm being ridiculous.

IpDipCatnip Tue 08-Nov-16 21:08:33

Agree with you OP. Definitely a backward step as replacing one addiction for another.

U2HasTheEdge Tue 08-Nov-16 21:09:24


It's much better he vapes than take up smoking again.

I have been vaping for three years and never plan to quit.

It is his body and his choice and while you don't have to like it I think you have to accept it because if he is wanting to vape he is struggling with his quit and I'm sure you would rather he vaped than smoked if it came down to it.

U2HasTheEdge Tue 08-Nov-16 21:12:00

Agree with you OP. Definitely a backward step as replacing one addiction for another.

No, it's not replacing an addiction. It's giving him nicotine in a much saver way without all the other hundreds of evil chemicals.

I know we don't know the long time results of vaping, but we do know for a fact that it is 95% plus saver than smoking and all the other research is looking great.

I have no problem with being addicted to nicotine. I am also addicted to caffeine- one is no more dangerous than the other.

U2HasTheEdge Tue 08-Nov-16 21:12:19

safer, not saver.

IpDipCatnip Tue 08-Nov-16 21:16:53

It is replacing addiction for addiction (albeit safer) U2, you just contradicted yourself! hmm

OP DH had been quit a number of years. Any addiction is not healthy confused

Wolfiefan Tue 08-Nov-16 21:18:42

It's a massive step back if he's already quit smoking. What makes him want to start?

Ginmakesitallok Tue 08-Nov-16 21:22:07

I vape - have done for over 3 years, not smoked in that time. IF I'd managed to stop smoking without vaping then I don't think I'd start.

Have you suggested nicotine free liquid??

Sunshine511 Tue 08-Nov-16 21:24:00

Thank you for your replies. He's told me its nicotine free but that sort of makes it even more pointless to me, if that makes sense. There are obviously other chemicals in there which may or may not be harmful (I know research is in its infancy). I just don't understand why he all of a sudden needs to vape and isn't bothered in the slightest about my feelings about it. Maybe I don't have a right to be bothered. I'm not sure. I just know that if I was to be doing something that he felt strongly about me stopping, I would do my upmost to try. Like I said, we've both always been supportive of one another and I very, very rarely have felt strongly enough about anything he's done for it to be worth voicing.

U2HasTheEdge Tue 08-Nov-16 21:25:35

No. He is not replacing one addiction for another addiction.

He is just going back to his original addiction in a safer form.

In an ideal world he would not go back to any form of nicotine but even after a number of years people can still crave it. If he feels vaping will help with that than so be it.

It boils down to the fact that he is an adult and it is up to him what he puts in his body. Most people who vape don't want to smoke again because they realise how much better vaping is so I don't see the problem.

I never said any addiction is healthy but he is a nicotine addict and as a nicotine addict myself I'm over the moon that I can use it without all the other chemicals, without smelling and without constant coughs etc.

If my husband moaned at me for my caffeine addiction I wouldn't quit it because I enjoy it.

U2HasTheEdge Tue 08-Nov-16 21:28:39

Thank you for your replies. He's told me its nicotine free but that sort of makes it even more pointless to me, if that makes sense.

Well in that case I certainly don't see your objection to it.

I love the hand mouth habit more than I like the nicotine.

You might think it is pointless, but he enjoys it. It is not harming you and very unlikely to harm him in any significant way.

harderandharder2breathe Tue 08-Nov-16 21:31:08

My friend was the same as your dp, quit smoking with no vaping, started vamping nicotine free, no vsping with nicotine

Seemed pointless to me too!

Sunshine511 Tue 08-Nov-16 21:31:44

Thanks for your views U2. I understand what your saying completely but the fact it's nicotine means that he's not using it as a replacement for the nicotine that he uses to consume all those years ago or as a way to give in to some form of craving. makes it harder to understand why he's dismissing my feelings so much.

IpDipCatnip Tue 08-Nov-16 21:37:03

Definitely another addiction then!

It does however cause problems for others. It still costs to vape- in my experience the users tend to chain smoke. Its also not a good example to the DC.

9troubledwaters Tue 08-Nov-16 21:40:46

He's done the same as me! After 2 years & a hell a lot if stress at the moment i felt it was back to the fags or vaping.

I swopped fags for food when I gave up -I have an addictive personality. Now ive swopped food for vaping & lost a stone shock

I don't know about harmless though I have developed a cough & cackly laugh. I also feel its not socially acceptable so don't vape in public or around the kids, so I am back to my old ways of sneaking off (albeit inside) which is annoying & I feel guilty. That was one of the things I loved when I gave up - i felt more 'present' & a better mum for it, not always wondering when I could get a quick fag in sad

U2HasTheEdge Tue 08-Nov-16 21:47:39

I don't know about harmless though I have developed a cough & cackly laugh

That might be a sensitivity to what you are vaping? My cough and cackle laugh went very quickly.

There is one juice I can't vape as it hurts my throat though.

9troubledwaters Tue 08-Nov-16 22:37:46

I hope so!

Catsize Tue 08-Nov-16 22:41:35

I was thinking only yesterday how utterly ridiculous people look, puffing away on these pipes containing goodness knows what.

RachelRagged Wed 09-Nov-16 04:43:44

I smoke but am trying to stop using a vape .

If I had been lucky enough to have managed to stop smoking completely I really don't think I would buy a vape so YANBU there OP .
However, as your said, it is his body . Its just a shame really.

RachelRagged Wed 09-Nov-16 04:44:33

Some of us can't do right for wrong can we Catsize ?!!!

Tezza1 Wed 09-Nov-16 08:03:28

I love the hand mouth habit more than I like the nicotine.
Exactly. I had to stop smoking about three and a half years ago before a double knee replacement. I tried an e-cigarette, but found it completely unsatisfying because the one I got didn't actually feel like a cigarette - too heavy and the balance was off. I fully intended to start smoking again when i returned home. However, because I couldn't smoke for several weeks, I realised how much I was saving, and decided to replace my car, and nearly saved enough in a couple of years to replace it. (I was a heavy smoker.)

Anyway, all that rambling is only to say that if I could find an e-cigarette that, for me, really mimicked smoking - weight, balance, same feeling when you drawback, etc, I'd have it in a flash. For me, nothing beat a cup of coffee after a meal, or a glass of wine, accompanied by a cigarette.

So anyway, my point is, your husband probably feels that he wants a smoke and is afraid he will succumb (and if he has one, he'll be back on them, probably smoking as many as he did before he stopped within a month - I've been there, done that). If vaping helps him not give in, so be it.

9troubledwaters Wed 09-Nov-16 10:48:03

how ridiculous people look

Ahh the token you look like a dummy poster on these threads

If you've said it once youve said it a thousand times eh catsize ? [Boring]

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