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To not give DH a lift

(53 Posts)
golfbuggy Tue 08-Nov-16 19:17:57

DH normally uses his motorbike to get to work, however there is an issue with the bike so he can't ride it at the moment. His workplace is about 10-15 minutes drive away in normal traffic; mine is very close to home.

On Monday we left at 7.55am so before the worst of the traffic and I'd dropped him off and was in my work for 8.30.

This morning he was faffing so we didn't leave until 8.05am - still managed to drop him off just after 8.20, but hit rush hour traffic going to my work place and it took me over 30 minutes to get to work which was obviously frustrating and meant I had to work late to make up the time.

Tomorrow the bike is going to be fixed but the bike shop (5 minute from home in the wrong direction) is not open until 8am, and he then has to book it in I'm expecting the traffic to be even worse than today. I've told him I'm not prepared to drive him and he can drive himself. He doesn't want to do this as it is a major hassle and expensive to find a parking space near his workplace, so is now planning to get the bus. The bus is notoriously unreliable (turns up very late or not at all) so I'm starting to feel a bit guilty about not taking him in. AIBU?

RedHelenB Tue 08-Nov-16 19:37:17

A bit, it's only one more day'

Greengoddess12 Tue 08-Nov-16 19:40:20

'Over 30 minutes to get to work?'

Lucky you. Take him he's your dh. It's one more day.

PurplePen Tue 08-Nov-16 19:42:05

You are, yes.

Arfarfanarf Tue 08-Nov-16 19:42:28

I'd take him. It's not too big a favour to do your husband. His bike will be fixed soon.

NorksAreMessy Tue 08-Nov-16 19:43:22


Clickncollect Tue 08-Nov-16 19:46:40

Can you drop him off outside the shop early and he can amuse himself for a while before the shop opens?

GinAndOnIt Tue 08-Nov-16 19:47:48

For one more day, just do it. I'd really appreciate DH doing this for me, so I'd expect to do it back.

user1478551766 Tue 08-Nov-16 19:48:11

I can't imagine being so petty. He's your husband, its in the deal, doing stuff like this.

Clickncollect Tue 08-Nov-16 19:49:01

Ah sorry, misread the Op. He still needs a lift after bike has been booked in.
It is annoying and I see where you are coming from but maybe suck it up for one more day and ensure he does the same for you one day.

MintyChops Tue 08-Nov-16 19:50:34

I would do it, seems mean not to as it's just one day. Just tell him you need to make sure you leave on time.

e1y1 Tue 08-Nov-16 20:16:35

I never understand posts like this (not just yours OP, from others too).

You are a married couple, (obviously when someone is taking the piss then you don't get walked over), but in normal day to day circumstances, you do each other favours.

So yes YABU, give your husband the lift.

ChuckGravestones Tue 08-Nov-16 20:31:25

I don't understand. How can he drive himself if you are in the car driving to work?

Allthewaves Tue 08-Nov-16 20:33:12

If yours is close to home can't he drop you off and take the car or you could walk?

arethereanyleftatall Tue 08-Nov-16 20:34:36

I would do this for my dh without thinking twice. As would he for me.

HairyScaryMonster Tue 08-Nov-16 20:35:05

Drive him to the shop early and let him get his own way to work.

golfbuggy Wed 09-Nov-16 11:24:10

To clarify - giving him a lift (with the constraints of having to go to the bike shop etc) would make me an hour late for work (which is not in itself an issue as we have unofficial flexitime). He has a perfectly reasonable alternative to drive himself, but doesn't want to as parking is expensive and not close to his office.

My reasoning was that I sat in rush hour traffic for almost an hour yesterday (whereas my normal "commute" is 15 minutes walk) and then had to work late in order to take him to work (while he got to work on time) and it's his turn to suck up it being slightly less convenient.

I would normally walk to work so wouldn't use the car at all.

OohhThatsMe Wed 09-Nov-16 11:28:17

If he can drive himself, he's completely unreasonable not to do it.

GinAndOnIt Wed 09-Nov-16 11:32:21

But it's not like he's asking for lifts for the next six months. It's what..a total of three days? It might be less convenient than normal, but if you needed extra help for something, would you not want your husband to be a bit flexible and inconvience himself a bit?

DP helped me when my car was in for MOT on Monday. I could have walked back to the house and walked back to fetch car later (45 min walk each way maybe?) but DP drove there with me, dropped me home, collected me and then went back to work.

Another time, DP had a flat tyre when he went to set off for work, so I dropped him off instead so he didn't have to ask his boss to pick him up. It's just.....kind and helpful confused

FetchezLaVache Wed 09-Nov-16 11:35:49

I understand why he doesn't want to take the car if it's an expensive PITA parking near his work - can't he just call a taxi from the bike shop once he's finished booking it in? Seems unreasonable for you to have to hang round for him, then have to work late to make up time.

golfbuggy Wed 09-Nov-16 11:35:50

It's the fact he is asking for a lift when he could drive himself because HE doesn't want extra hassle.

Ahickiefromkinickie Wed 09-Nov-16 11:37:26

This morning he was faffing so we didn't leave until 8.05am

YANBU. He should not be faffing when you are doing him a good thing and he makes you late.

He can pay for parking. And the lazy gobshite can walk to work from the parking spot. How long is the walk?

Sparlklesilverglitter Wed 09-Nov-16 11:38:33

In any relationship sometimes you do things for each other when asked ( getting milk on the way home, giving lifts, picking up from a different station due to trains cancelling)

Seriously I'd give him the lift no problem

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Wed 09-Nov-16 11:39:48

So did you give him the lift?

FWIW I think he's being cheeky wanting you to work late so he doesn't have an inconvenient walk. That's cheeky. I hate having to finish late because I've gone in late, and like you I have a twenty minute walk/10 minute drive.

newmumwithquestions Wed 09-Nov-16 11:42:06

He has ways to get to work by himself. YANBU.

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