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To wonder if my dh is in the right here

(17 Posts)
user1473509591 Tue 08-Nov-16 17:02:34

I really don't think he is, and it's a bloody stupid argument, but I want to see what others think.
When we moved into our first flat we bought a lovely second hand table. When we moved into our house, the table was too big to fit and so we asked my mum if she'd mind swapping her table for ours. No mention of it being temporary because we hadnt planned to change our sofa.
Sofa broke, bought a new one, and our old table would now fit. Dh wanted our old table back and she said no. We then sold the table she gave us and got another one. When my sister moved out she took the table with her, as my mum's boyfriends is bigger. Now my sister wants to either sell it or give it to us, and my dh is furious that she has the table in the first place when we wanted it back.
Am I right in thinking that because we swapped the table in the first place it's not our right to decide where the table goes? Because as far as I was concerned we swapped the table, and it was no longer our possession!
Sorry, petty argument I know

JellyBelli Tue 08-Nov-16 17:05:22

I dony get why you would argue about this. Your DH has a point. Let him be annoyed instead of taking sides.

Morporkia Tue 08-Nov-16 17:06:40

you swapped like for like, so as far as i can see, she owned your old table...meaning she can do what she wants with it. if your DS wants to give it back to you, whats his problem?

TinklyLittleLaugh Tue 08-Nov-16 17:08:07

Mean of your mum not to let you have it back and then happily hand it over to your sister. Not surprised your boyfriend is pissed off, most families don't behave like that.

OhNoNotMyBaby Tue 08-Nov-16 17:09:39

But if your sister is prepared to give it back to you, what is the problem?

user1473509591 Tue 08-Nov-16 17:12:11

Well that's what I thought. I don't really know what the issue is! I think he's pissed that we didn't get it back when we asked for it but it was swapped like for like so I understood why my mum didn't want to give it back.

Gazelda Tue 08-Nov-16 17:12:15

I get why he's annoyed. How long between you asking to swap back and your sis taking the table?

user1478551766 Tue 08-Nov-16 17:13:34

Your ma did you a favour in swapping her table for yours, and it was then her table to do what she wanted with. If she gave it to your sister, that was her choice.
But since your sister will give it to you anyway, he really is being a dick.

tootiredtothink Tue 08-Nov-16 17:13:47

Had you not made money from your mom's old table id say you had a point....not any more though.

ByeByeLilSebastian Tue 08-Nov-16 17:14:52

I'd be a bit hmm about your mum not giving it back but happily giving it to your sister too.

Technically you are right but I think I would feel the same as your dh.

user1478551766 Tue 08-Nov-16 17:15:35

I missed that bit! So you sold the table you swapped for yours, and he still thinks that one is yours?
So he thinks the table that was yours is still yours, while the table that was your mothers was also yours, since you sold it.

Does he think everything belongs to him?

TheNaze73 Tue 08-Nov-16 17:34:31

I'm just staggered your Mum didn't give it back

Bogeyface Tue 08-Nov-16 17:36:17

Unless it was clear that the swap was temporary, the minute the tables got swapped it ceased to be yours. Your mum was within her rights to not swap back and to give it away as she chose.

As you have now been offered the table back again, he has what he wants and needs to stop being so childish about it.

Bogeyface Tue 08-Nov-16 17:37:44

I'm just staggered your Mum didn't give it back


It was her table! She could paint it purple and go table dancing on it if she wanted to, it became hers when they swapped! I daresay he would have called her selfish if she had refused to swap in the first place, he sounds like the type who implies anyone who doesnt do exactly what he wants them to do is selfish.

diddl Tue 08-Nov-16 17:40:57

Why wouldn't your mum just swap tables back when you asked?

I do think though at that point it was clear that she considered her table yours.

But it's shit that she wouldn't give it back to you but then let your sister have it!

Well if you still want it just let your sister give it back.

I see your husband's point though.

I love my dining table, took ages to find & if I swapped with someone & then they wouldn't give it back I think that I'd cry!

Mind you, I'd have bought a new sofa rather than have the table not fit, so I guess that neither of you were that bothered about it.

AcrossthePond55 Tue 08-Nov-16 17:47:03

Another reason why we always clarify 'giving or lending?' in these situations.

My feeling is that once you sold your mother's table she was free to do as she wished with yours, especially if you didn't give her a head's up before you sold it. After all, you then no longer had her table to swap back.

PilkoPumpPants Tue 08-Nov-16 17:52:00

I can see why his annoyed aswell but how long was it after asking for the table back until your sister moved out?

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