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(427 Posts)
lithium3 Mon 07-Nov-16 22:53:46

So after giving birth to DS 4 months ago I was out this weekend for the first time. I invited my best friend as she was having a rough time with her DP (she has two little boys with him) to come along with me and my DP to later meet up with a few of my other friends.

After a few beers it was clear that she was quite drunk and we headed to the club. I went to the toilet and came down to DP telling me that she had tried to kiss him. I put it down to just been drunk and falling around and DP misreading the situation (surely my best friend wouldn't do that). However, DP came over again and told me to get her away from him as she kept trying to kiss him.. So I moved her then she did the same to all my male friends including one who had a girlfriend which she met earlier that evening. I felt so embarrassed by her, all of them felt so awkward.

In the end she ended up finding a man that actually kissed her back and she stayed with him the remainder of the night until it was 3am and me and DP wanted to go home yet she refused to come with us so we left her with this man.

We have spoke since but she hasn't mentioned anything about it, she apologised to me and DP for 'being a dick' over text.

DP absolutely adored this girl before all this and loved her two little boys but now he feels so awkward and keeps telling me to speak to her about it as it was so unacceptable for her to do that. I agree with him but I really don't know how to address the situation, in my mind I'm just putting it down to her being so drunk she didn't know what she was doing but then another part of me thinks that she did know.

I don't know what to do, she is my best friend that I turn to for everything. How should I address it? Am I being too laid back? Just need an outsiders opinion..

Mistletoekids Mon 07-Nov-16 22:57:09

You need go call Her out on it, not acceptable in any way and if you don't deal with it will ruin relationship between her and DP.

Obviously wasn't specidic to him so maybe try the, hey last night was wierd. Me and DP feeling a bit uncomfortable with you trying to kiss him / eberyone. Is everything ok? Anything going on you want to talk about? And take it from there

Afreshstartplease Mon 07-Nov-16 22:59:38

I think she's probably really unhappy in her own life

It's sad

baconandeggies Mon 07-Nov-16 23:00:54

Sounds like she's incredibly unhappy. You can either be there for her - as she has been for you in the past - or you choose to freeze her out.

Given that she sounded incredibly drunk, trying it on with everyone and is having a rough time at home - I wouldn't go in too hard.

Did nobody try to get her home when it was clear she was in a state?

NavyandWhite Mon 07-Nov-16 23:02:20

Has she ever done this before? Is she flirty/tactile when not drunk?

I'd be thinking twice about the friendship tbh.

KC225 Mon 07-Nov-16 23:02:23

Agree with the above poster you need to speak to her about it and do not be fobbed off with her laughing it off. If you still want to be friends do not invite her on nights out

AnyFucker Mon 07-Nov-16 23:05:33

I think your boyfriend should get over himself

He used to love her 2 little boys ? What have they to do with this hmm

This woman is clearly struggling with something, she didn't target him personally and he is having such a tantrum about it ? And better still...he wants you to tackle her instead of manning up and doing it himself

Personally, I think a little bit more of your attention could be directed towards your friend and a bit less to the hissy fits of Prince Fucking Charming there

KnittingPearl Mon 07-Nov-16 23:05:52

She's clearly desperately unhappy with life. I think you do have to speak to her, but you don't need to (at the moment) lay into her. Depending on how she reacts to your talk, then is the moment for decisions as to the future of your friendship. Your DP shouldn't be put into this position, and unless she takes it seriously, she isn't showing you or him the respect you both should receive.

Also, do you think she might have a drink problem?

NavyandWhite Mon 07-Nov-16 23:07:47

Really AF? You'd be as accommodating if one of your best mates tried to kiss your DH?

AnyFucker Mon 07-Nov-16 23:08:41

If she was also publicly trying to kiss every one else, yes

baconandeggies Mon 07-Nov-16 23:10:12

Is it an equal friendship OP? Do you support her as much as she does for you?

NavyandWhite Mon 07-Nov-16 23:10:41


She only tried to kiss other people because the OP has to physically move her away from her DP.

HerOtherHalf Mon 07-Nov-16 23:11:45

From what you describe, she was clearly too drunk to be in control of herself so I wouldn't hold it against her myself. I actually think you have more to answer for. Why did you leave a friend, clearly in an unfit drunken state, alone with a man she didn't know at 3 in the morning? You didn't have any concern for her safety, nor her doing something she might well regret, yet you're stressing out over a drunken attempt to kiss your boyfriend? Strange priorities.

DearMrDilkington Mon 07-Nov-16 23:12:28

Oh come on. If it was a really drunk bloke going around his friends girlfriends repeatedly trying to kiss them nobody would think it was sad for him.

Op say something. Its unacceptable for a male or female to get in that state and repeatedly sexually harass someone.

AnyFucker Mon 07-Nov-16 23:15:41

If my best friend was behaving as described in the op, I would be very concerned about her and so would my H

I would think she had been spiked or slipped drugs or was having some sort of crisis

I wouldn't be "moving" her then standing by while she tried to snog other males in the party nor would I be leaving her with some random

If you do that then she is clearly no "best friend" to anyone who stood by and watched that happening

And if my H snivelled about it like this guy he would get told to get a grip

NavyandWhite Mon 07-Nov-16 23:15:50

Absolutely DearMr. Nobody would be saying " poor pet he must be so unhappy "

Blackbird82 Mon 07-Nov-16 23:15:54

Anyfucker grin

I agree. Your partner is being a bit of a fanny. She tried to cop off with everyone and didn't just target him. She must be feeling mortified.

NavyandWhite Mon 07-Nov-16 23:17:26

So there must be another reason for this then? Ok that is a possibility but why did the friend text the OP and say she was sorry for being a dick?

DearMrDilkington Mon 07-Nov-16 23:19:28

navy awful double standards happening on here at the moment. This thread is disgraceful.

If ops friend was a male everyone would be calling her a pighmm.

NavyandWhite Mon 07-Nov-16 23:21:00

I know. Very odd.

OP what's your friend usually like? Is this totally unlike her?

DearMrDilkington Mon 07-Nov-16 23:21:29

And if my H snivelled about it like this guy he would get told to get a grip

So if your dh had a friend that was very drunk that kept trying to kiss you and you had repeatedly asked them to stop, you'd be fine with this response from your dh to you?

AnyFucker Mon 07-Nov-16 23:22:32

Navy...does this woman sound like she is in a good place to you ?

I am very bored with this "reverse the sexes and you would get a very different response" asshattery

baconandeggies Mon 07-Nov-16 23:23:14

I think if one of my male friends was invited on a night out because they were having problems with their wife, and got really drunk, and tried to kiss people's girlfriends, I'd like to think that the group would recognise what was going on and put him in a taxi home.

NavyandWhite Mon 07-Nov-16 23:23:16

What was he supposed to do in this situation?

Blackbird82 Mon 07-Nov-16 23:23:34

I think had it been my husbands drunken friend I would have just told him to stop being a drunken dick and probably laughed about it, as would my dh!

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