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Stories of triumph over brass-necks?

(30 Posts)
jayisforjessica Mon 07-Nov-16 22:38:07

I've seen multiple threads on here about stories of people being brass-necked and there's always a bunch of people going "I can't believe the posters just let these p*ss-takers get away with it!" So this is a thread for stories about posters who didn't let these p*ss-takers get away with it.

Disclaimer: I'm not looking for cruelty or property damage or law breaking. I'm talking about things like "Jiminy Billy Bob called me at three in the morning expecting me to drive 100 miles to lend him a fiver! But I told him I'd love to, except: reason x, reason y, and reason z. Then I went back to sleep!"

Maybe this won't take off, but I just thought it'd be a bit empowering, among the stories of being being bolshy and brass necked, to hear some stories about people who stood up for themselves and won back a little ground against the cheeky selfishness that is so rampant in the world!

(MNHQ, if this isn't okay, I fully understand it getting deleted. I am honestly not trying to encourage bad behavior, just confidence and assertion. I hope that's okay!!)

Floggingmolly Mon 07-Nov-16 22:40:56

You mean times people have said no? I'd hardly call that a triumph?!

jayisforjessica Mon 07-Nov-16 22:51:44

Well, times people have stood up for themselves. I base this on the general feeling of helplessness and pushover-osity I get from the other brassneck threads.

HazelnutCoffeeandMincePies Mon 07-Nov-16 22:54:48

Sounds like a nice post. I hope it takes off.
Shamelessly place marking.

HazelnutCoffeeandMincePies Mon 07-Nov-16 22:55:14

I have no stories to give because I'm a pushover

FleurThomas Mon 07-Nov-16 22:58:20

Guy pushed me hard and deliberately as I boarded a tube train. So I pushed him and nudged him out the train just before the doors shut.

jayisforjessica Mon 07-Nov-16 23:08:06

A customer came into my workplace, saw the 16 year old behind the counter (not me, obviously) and I swear, her eyes lit up. She came bustling up to the counter and told him - we'll call him Ned - that she wanted to return the items in the bag and she wanted a cash refund.

Ned quite rightly told her that company policy was not to give cash refunds for change of mind purchases, which was what this was. She wasn't happy with that, and demanded to speak to his supervisor. He gestured to me, and I came over just as she was pontificating about the ~Consumer Guarantees Act~ and actually she was ~entitled~ to a refund and it was ~illegal~ not to give it to her.

Ned was starting to look decidedly uncomfortable. Unfortunately for this woman, I've met her type before. People like her are one of the reasons I've practically memorized her precious Consumer Guarantees Act. They're also the reason a well-loved copy of said legislation is kept under the counter, with the pertinent passages handily marked and highlighted. (Ned didn't know about it being there, poor thing!!)

I pulled it out, showed her the page, and calmly and politely told her she was wrong, and here's why. I offered her the ACTUAL remedy under the Act, which was store credit. She didn't like that. She began to kick off. I held firm. Finally, she stormed out, declaring that we had "lost a customer".

Why would we want a customer who not only isn't buying anything, but who is actively returning something and expecting money back where she isn't entitled to it?

liz70 Mon 07-Nov-16 23:21:52

Many moons ago, when I was in my early twenties, a pal and I were repairing to my flat from a night out, so early hours of the morning. We had just passed the bombed out church when some chancer stopped in front of us and demanded our money. (My pal had lots of blingy rings on his fingers, which were probably I think just costume jewellery and worth fuck all, which was maybe why would-be-mugger picked on us.

I stood for a few seconds, looking at him, silent. (I was stone cold sober as I didn't drink back then). Then I said, as loudly as I could without actually shouting/screaming:

" FUCK. OFF. "

(No sound or movement from w.b.m.)


W.b.m. then muttered something, probably rude, and turned and walked away, empty-handed. My pal and I legged it to my place as fast as we could.

I wouldn't recommend what I did. I just said that without thinking, spur of moment stuff.

44PumpLane Mon 07-Nov-16 23:34:15

Mine isn't particularly exciting but in Disney World in August this year there were about 12 of us on a family holiday. Whenever we queued for a ride, if our party got split up at all we would always step to one side to let others pass us in order to reunite our family (i.e. Not expecting to be reunited through moving the rest of the party forward in the queue).

We were in one queue and a couple we're clearly trying it on, they snaked through some of our party this ending up in the middle of our twelve. My DH hadn't noticed this and tried to encourage us to hang back tonrejoin the rest of our party- "no chance" says I, "they've just pushed in" (as they were continuing to try and creep forward through the queue line.

Made the rest of my family party move ahead of the couple who hugged and puffed, inwas having none of it- bloody well wait your turn like everyone else!!

44PumpLane Mon 07-Nov-16 23:35:18

*note to self.... always proof read before posting!

IMissGrannyW Mon 07-Nov-16 23:42:00

The older I get, I think there are 4 types of assertive.

There's the 'bully' type, who is very, very good at picking on people they perceive as in some way "lesser" than they are. So, someone rich patronising someone poor, or someone very bright not feeling uncomfortable at intimidating someone less well educated, or someone feeling "above" someone.... like, if they're less cool than you. Racists fit well into this group. Also agists, misogynists, etc.

Then there's a sub-group of The Smug. They "belong" in some group (the pta/the church/whatever). I'd class "mean girls" in this group. THEY know who belongs (and who doesn't) THEY know what the rules are, and use passive-aggressive mean-ness to put you in your place if you dare to overstep your mark.

There's the "mad" type. The scatter-gun approach. The very aggressive person who'll scream "are you DISRESPECTING me???" to bus drivers, head teachers, people in shops, random passers by.

I wouldn't class any of those types as assertive, or putting brass-neckers in their place.

The ones I aspire to are those who aren't afraid to state the facts, even if they're uncomfortable for some to say.... They state them factually and don't shy away from the truth: "you were outrageous last night because you were drunk, as you always are after 8 pm" "your child was greedy at my party because he's never allowed chocolate by you, so he goes nuts when he's around it". That's what I wish I was brave enough to be. I rarely am. But I keep working on it!

noblegiraffe Mon 07-Nov-16 23:49:59

I was at soft play once and I'd got myself a cup of tea, drinks and biscuits for the kids and we were sat at a table eating and drinking and had been for a while.
A woman sends her kids over to stare at us. Then she comes over. 'This is our table, we had it first, can you move'.
There was absolutely nothing of theirs on the table. No coats or shoes even nearby. It had been an empty table. I looked at my kids and tea tray and paraphernalia and considered how to move them to one of the many empty tables.

Then I looked at her and said no. She was outraged 'you expect me to move to a different table?!' and I pointed out there was nothing of hers to move, but she expected me to move a shedload of stuff for a table she had no claim to.

Crikey she stormed off telling her kids that I was very rude.

What a weirdo.

Inthenick Mon 07-Nov-16 23:51:45

People LOVE to get one up on each other. Or get their 'justice'. I blame Hollywood.

Usually the person who 'got what was coming to them' actually doesn't notice or even care for more than 2 seconds.

KERALA1 Mon 07-Nov-16 23:52:12

Jay I hate shops like yours - Dh often buys me stuff I need to return, which I do unworn with the receipt. Several shops try the store card computer says no thing. I have not been beaten yet my record unblemished. I just stand there politely repeating my request.. The managers always cave in the end.

jayisforjessica Tue 08-Nov-16 00:01:26

To be clear, my store has an exceedingly lenient returns policy. We accept late returns, returns without a receipt if we can find some other proof of purchase (and there are multiple ways to find it, and it's actually incredibly fun to try - but that could just be me lol), and all manner of "probably shouldn't let it happen but we will this one" kind of returns. We just don't do cash returns for change of mind purchases. And we don't have to, under this country's law.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Tue 08-Nov-16 00:08:21

My mum was a bugger for changing her mind and taking stuff back and arguing at the top of her voice with the poor person behind the counter. Was very embarrassing.

marfisa Tue 08-Nov-16 00:25:30

I agree with Kerala. I know shops aren't legally obligated to do cash returns but I think they are short-sighted not to, as they will lose customer goodwill. I bought some clothes for the DC at a local shop during my lunch hour one day and one of the items didn't fit my DS. The shop didn't want to let me return the (brand new, unworn) item the following day -- they offered me store credit only. I'd shopped there for years, but since that day, I've never gone in again. I would rather buy online as on the rare occasions when I have to return something, I have 14 days to return it and get my money back.

Legal, yes, but good business, no.

jayisforjessica Tue 08-Nov-16 00:49:58

I mean this is all very well and good, but sort of not the point of the thread lol. P'raps we should start another thread for talking about store policies? I've seen some dreadful ones!

Has anyone else got any "I told a brass-necker where to stick it" stories?

KERALA1 Tue 08-Nov-16 06:03:39

Exactly Marfisa. Very shortsighted. Our business going forward is now with the pleasant returners (m and s, anthropologie, whistles). White company avoided. I resent trying to reasonably return items as an example of being "brass necked" ffs

Softkitty2 Tue 08-Nov-16 06:49:22

OP I understand what you are trying to get out of this post.. It is meant to be lighthearted. Op never said 'brass neck' = being a bully. It is not about the store return policy; it's meant to be a thread about when people have stood up for themselves when they usually don't or are pushovers.

OP unfortunately for you people will take offense to anything, will find malice, inequality and injustice in everything and just have a stick up their ass that needs pulling out

Lighten up. So miserable.

KERALA1 Tue 08-Nov-16 06:54:02

I think it's the shops being brass necked. Sorry just returned a load of stuff today and seeing an exact scenario from your day used as an example of you bring an arse - well yes I am going to respond - hardly malicious hmm

So yes guess I stood up for myself in the face of petty jobsworth shop assistant well done me!

YouTheCat Tue 08-Nov-16 07:22:35

Kerala, the OP has the law on her side. The law is there for a reason.

I don't see the problem with store credit if it's a shop you go in regularly. If you've bought the wrong size surely you can just exchange for the right one anyway?

Softkitty2 Tue 08-Nov-16 07:24:46

Like i said stick up the ass

KERALA1 Tue 08-Nov-16 07:27:06

I think I'll leave you all to it...

NicknameUsed Tue 08-Nov-16 07:32:39

" I bought some clothes for the DC at a local shop during my lunch hour one day and one of the items didn't fit my DS."

I always ask if I can return something if it doesn't fit while I am paying for said item. So far the answer has always been yes.

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