To ask for your best 'parent lies' (lighthearted).

[ThatGingerOne]

We all know the ice cream man only rings his tune when there's none left

[RosaRosaRose]

If you don't believe in Father Christmas, then how can he exist?

[CurtainsforRonnie]

Playpark is shut on mondays etc, for cleaning.

[agadoodoodoo]

I've started telling toddler dd that anything I don't want to share with her is 'vegetables'. I'm not sure how long it will work n

[RosaRosaRose]

My own mother told me Jack Frost would get my fingers and toes if I left them out of the covers. Still tuck them in, now. Even in summer.

[Seekingadvice123]

Oh god.... this brings back memories. I used to tell my two that there was an age limit on cream eclairs because of an ingredient that small children were not allowed to eat. Shameful.

[Sourpuss123]

To not have to get up and play with the kids, one family member always says she can't as she has a bone in her leg. Works a treat if you rub your leg at the same time, they never questioned it.

[LuluLovesFruitcakes]

Told my lb last winter that the red light on the thermostat (you know, the one that says the heating is on) is Santa watching him...he's on his best behaviour ;)

[MyBreadIsEggy]

I tell DD my food is spicy so I don't have to share

[ChristianGreysAnatomy]

No dd it's not a pea, it's an Italian petit pois.
Ha! She ate it. HA!

[princessconsuelabannahammock]

That sweets or toys in the shop are not for sale only display. Working so far!

We have to hurry up and go somewhere before it closes.

[DailyFaily]

As a toddler my son said the only meat he only liked was ham - so evething became ham. Chicken and turkey were white ham, beef and pork were brown ham. He was about 5 before he wised up to it

[itlypocerka]

I've taken to claiming that anything brown that comes in rectangles is made of broccoli and spinach but he doesn't believe me.

[LaContessaDiPlump]

That's not a raisin, it's a squishy nut (DS loves nuts).

Of course it's carrot soup darling no it's not

Don't worry, I took all the banana out of your slice of banana cake

In all of the above he has guzzled the offerings happily once reassured of their unhealthy status

[RedGrapeCornSnake]

I once convinced my 7yr old DD about the healing powers of polos after a wasp sting.

She brushed past a bush and a wasp got trapped between her jumper and neck, it got her 3 times before we got it out. Poor DD was feeling very sorry for herself and I had nothing useful in my bag apart from the polos. I convinced her that the cooling of the mintyness would soothe the hot of the stinging. 3 polos for 3 stings and she was a happy lass!

[DearMrDilkington]

I tell dd(4) any food I'm caught eating is made from potatoes. She weirdly hates potatoes

[MsColouring]

The tooth fairy doesn't come on Halloween as she's too scared (wasn't really that mummy forgot!)

[CoraPirbright]

From a friend of mine which I have stolen freely

You know those lights in the corner of the room burglar alarm sensors? That is Santa-cam and he is watching you through these to see if you are good!!

[MummyTheTramEngine]

The 'nudie police' will arrest us if we leave the house with no clothes on.

It is illegal for me to tell him the whereabouts of his Christmas presents.

[McWeedie]

Soft play isn't open during school holidays!

[RiverTam]

Me: DD, I'd like you to have q couple more spoonfuls
DD: is a couple 5?
Me and DH: yes

[ToastyFingers]

If I sneak some chocolate whilst making dinner I tell DD1 it's an olive.

[llangennith]

I told DGS his preferred grotty swimming pool (we have a choice of two) was only open at weekends. When his mother could take him

[Waffles80]

You can only get Haribo in Spain.

[CigarsofthePharoahs]

We've run out of ice cream.
No, ds2, Ryder is feeling ill today so the Paw Patrol are having a day off to look after hm. I'm sure he'll feel better tomorrow.
I may have made references to the 'pyjama police' for similar reasons MummyTheTramEngine! Bloody Paw Patrol and their actually reasonably priced items! No you can't wear them day in, day out!

[SmallBee]

The car won't start until I put your seat belt on.
She's never questioned it.