To ask for your best 'parent lies' (lighthearted).

(162 Posts)
ThatGingerOne Mon 07-Nov-16 19:02:48

We all know the ice cream man only rings his tune when there's none left wink

RosaRosaRose Mon 07-Nov-16 19:10:54

If you don't believe in Father Christmas, then how can he exist?

CurtainsforRonnie Mon 07-Nov-16 19:12:59

Playpark is shut on mondays etc, for cleaning.

agadoodoodoo Mon 07-Nov-16 19:13:15

I've started telling toddler dd that anything I don't want to share with her is 'vegetables'. I'm not sure how long it will work n

RosaRosaRose Mon 07-Nov-16 19:14:03

My own mother told me Jack Frost would get my fingers and toes if I left them out of the covers. Still tuck them in, now. Even in summer.

Seekingadvice123 Mon 07-Nov-16 19:15:18

Oh god.... this brings back memories. I used to tell my two that there was an age limit on cream eclairs because of an ingredient that small children were not allowed to eat. Shameful.

Sourpuss123 Mon 07-Nov-16 19:17:46

To not have to get up and play with the kids, one family member always says she can't as she has a bone in her leg. Works a treat if you rub your leg at the same time, they never questioned it.

LuluLovesFruitcakes Mon 07-Nov-16 19:18:41

Told my lb last winter that the red light on the thermostat (you know, the one that says the heating is on) is Santa watching him...he's on his best behaviour ;)

MyBreadIsEggy Mon 07-Nov-16 19:18:48

I tell DD my food is spicy so I don't have to share blush

ChristianGreysAnatomy Mon 07-Nov-16 19:20:00

No dd it's not a pea, it's an Italian petit pois.
Ha! She ate it. HA!

princessconsuelabannahammock Mon 07-Nov-16 19:21:28

That sweets or toys in the shop are not for sale only display. Working so far!

We have to hurry up and go somewhere before it closes.

DailyFaily Mon 07-Nov-16 19:22:16

As a toddler my son said the only meat he only liked was ham - so evething became ham. Chicken and turkey were white ham, beef and pork were brown ham. He was about 5 before he wised up to it blush

itlypocerka Mon 07-Nov-16 19:22:40

I've taken to claiming that anything brown that comes in rectangles is made of broccoli and spinach but he doesn't believe me.

LaContessaDiPlump Mon 07-Nov-16 19:22:49

That's not a raisin, it's a squishy nut (DS loves nuts).

Of course it's carrot soup darling no it's not

Don't worry, I took all the banana out of your slice of banana cake hmm

In all of the above he has guzzled the offerings happily once reassured of their unhealthy status angry

RedGrapeCornSnake Mon 07-Nov-16 19:48:01

I once convinced my 7yr old DD about the healing powers of polos after a wasp sting.

She brushed past a bush and a wasp got trapped between her jumper and neck, it got her 3 times before we got it out. Poor DD was feeling very sorry for herself and I had nothing useful in my bag apart from the polos. I convinced her that the cooling of the mintyness would soothe the hot of the stinging. 3 polos for 3 stings and she was a happy lass!

DearMrDilkington Mon 07-Nov-16 19:51:08

I tell dd(4) any food I'm caught eating is made from potatoes. She weirdly hates potatoeshmm

MsColouring Mon 07-Nov-16 19:51:57

The tooth fairy doesn't come on Halloween as she's too scared (wasn't really that mummy forgot!)

CoraPirbright Mon 07-Nov-16 19:53:45

From a friend of mine which I have stolen freely

You know those lights in the corner of the room burglar alarm sensors? That is Santa-cam and he is watching you through these to see if you are good!!

MummyTheTramEngine Mon 07-Nov-16 19:55:00

The 'nudie police' will arrest us if we leave the house with no clothes on.

It is illegal for me to tell him the whereabouts of his Christmas presents.

McWeedie Mon 07-Nov-16 19:56:31

Soft play isn't open during school holidays! grin

RiverTam Mon 07-Nov-16 19:58:11

Me: DD, I'd like you to have q couple more spoonfuls
DD: is a couple 5?
Me and DH: yes

ToastyFingers Mon 07-Nov-16 19:59:15

If I sneak some chocolate whilst making dinner I tell DD1 it's an olive.

llangennith Mon 07-Nov-16 19:59:59

I told DGS his preferred grotty swimming pool (we have a choice of two) was only open at weekends. When his mother could take himsmile

Waffles80 Mon 07-Nov-16 20:00:13

You can only get Haribo in Spain.

CigarsofthePharoahs Mon 07-Nov-16 20:09:05

We've run out of ice cream.
No, ds2, Ryder is feeling ill today so the Paw Patrol are having a day off to look after hm. I'm sure he'll feel better tomorrow.
I may have made references to the 'pyjama police' for similar reasons MummyTheTramEngine! Bloody Paw Patrol and their actually reasonably priced items! No you can't wear them day in, day out!

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