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AIBU to wipe dd's bum?

(25 Posts)
Moxiechick Mon 07-Nov-16 12:17:18

My dd is 3 and had been potty trained since she turned 2. She goes to toilet completely by herself at home just needs reminding to wash her hands. If she's gone for a poo I tell her to call me to come and wipe her bum. I hadn't thought anything of it until today when she said she wanted to do it.
What age should children be wiping their own bums after going to toilet? I just want to make sure she's clean and after having one bout of worms 😷 I'm conscious of it all.

DrQuinzel Mon 07-Nov-16 12:18:28

Still wipe DD's bum at 3, I'm trying to encourage her to do it but she isn't quite doing it effectively enough yet. All in good time.

bluecashmere Mon 07-Nov-16 12:19:48

Let her do a bit of wiping and then finish off to make sure she's clean. You'll know when she's ready to do it without your help then. As long as she's sorted by the time she goes to school she's fine.

WorraLiberty Mon 07-Nov-16 12:20:29

I used to do the same with mine except I'd tell them to wipe it and then call me, so I can come up and make sure they've done it properly.

I'm not sure of what ages I stopped checking my 3 DC. All different ages I expect, according to how fast they learned to do it properly.

OddBoots Mon 07-Nov-16 12:21:04

Children's bodies grow at different rates, some can reach earlier than others so there is no fixed age - a few even start school unable to reach. As she has asked hen let her try then you wipe after to make sure she is clean, then you can judge it as you go about how able she it.

Yoarchie Mon 07-Nov-16 12:21:44

I personally think 3 is too young to do a proper hygienic job. My friend proudly told me his 3yo did it herself. Though nothing of it til I was visiting and used the loo after 3yo and there was a massive fresh shit smear all over the hand towel. I preferred to wipe my dc's bums at this age as I knew they would be properly clean and also not have shitty hands (which would probably be badly washed and then touch everything! )

Moxiechick Mon 07-Nov-16 12:21:50

Ah thanks for the advice. I always encourage her to be independent then thought oh no I'm babying her! She does it herself at nursery, so I assume from the skids 😁

gamerwidow Mon 07-Nov-16 12:25:04

I still check DDs bum for her if she wants me to and she is 6. Better than letting her get sore if she hasn't managed properly. She has to have a proper try first and it is important they can at least do a basic effort at wiping their bum before they go to school.

Smartleatherbag Mon 07-Nov-16 12:25:44

My 2 were school age before they wiped their bums.

gininteacupsandleavesonthelawn Mon 07-Nov-16 12:26:30

DD started doing it just turned 3 with me 'checking' she's been doing it properly on her own since 4. ExMiL still does it for her now at 5.5 i think but that's a whole other thread...

DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain Mon 07-Nov-16 12:42:04

I agree with encourage her to do it but have a check at the end. You can also make sure handwashing is good enough too.

Juanbablo Mon 07-Nov-16 12:48:35

Mine were 3 when they started wiping their own bums. I can't remember having to help them for a very long time but I understand that many children need help well into primary school.

HalleLouja Mon 07-Nov-16 12:54:43

I still have to wipe my 8 year old's bottom. He has issues with withholding and gets himself in a mess.

My youngest just goes off and does it without my input.

AllTheBabies Mon 07-Nov-16 13:01:44

I think 3 is very small to do it herself. I don't think my dd's arms were even long enough to even reach properly at 3! I did hers until she was about 5 and starting at school.

OohMavis Mon 07-Nov-16 13:02:18

Summerborn DS couldn't reach properly by the time he started reception at just-turned-4, but he'd cracked (ha) it well before starting Y1.

DD is 3 and wipes herself pretty well and can reach properly. I get her to wipe first then make sure she's clean with a wipe. She's been potty trained since 18 months, though, whereas DS trained later so I think some of it may just be down to more practice.

maddiemookins16mum Mon 07-Nov-16 13:08:05

Three is little to do a proper clean, I'd let her try and you finish.

Enidblyton1 Mon 07-Nov-16 13:16:01

I did it until 4 when she started school.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Mon 07-Nov-16 14:00:21

I'm glad to read this because mine were school age before they could do a decent job of it!

Have to say, it is one part of parenting I do not miss grin

allowlsthinkalot Mon 07-Nov-16 21:38:18

I finish off wiping my two year old's but mine all wiped their own quite soon after toilet training. How are they going to manage if you're not there when they have a poo? They need to learn to do it themselves surely? How will they learn if they don't practise? Supervise and talk them through it if you really don't think they can manage it?

Mynestisfullofempty Mon 07-Nov-16 21:44:26

Let her do it but tell her you just want to check to make sure she's done it properly. Surely that's the stage everyone has between doing it for them and them doing it themselves.

JinkxMonsoon Mon 07-Nov-16 21:46:30

My DD is 5 and throws a sobbing tantrum if I refuse to do it, even though she's perfectly capable of doing it herself (ditto getting dressed and undressed). I swear it's a control thing, knowing that she can make me do things for her all the time hmm

Allthewaves Mon 07-Nov-16 21:46:30

My 3 year old wipes his own butt mostly. He's at preschool and daycare so he doesn't have a choice. At home he gives me a shout if he struggling (or can't be arsed grin)

RiverTam Mon 07-Nov-16 21:50:40

DD is 6 and has only in the last year wiped herself and only very recently not insisted that we check that she's clean. But she never ever poos at school, or did at nursery, so it wasn't really an issue.

MrsMook Mon 07-Nov-16 22:18:47

I'm still wiping my 3 and 5 year olds. I encourage them to start, but they struggle reaching, and have quite a soft output that requires some skill to get clean.

Apparently the 5 year old doesn't go at school and saves it for home. Lucky me.

Notcontent Mon 07-Nov-16 22:38:53

I would encourage her to call you to check, without making a big deal out of it.

Mine needed help until much older but that was because she was paranoid about getting it on her hands....

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