So the father and I aren't together but last Sunday he came over to my parents for dinner (as I live alone I am staying with them on the run up to the due date in case of emergencies) and afterwards he and I sat down and I explained that I was unhappy because he said he wanted to actively be involved but for the previous 4-5 weeks he hadn't got in contact with me. I explained that it was frustrating because whenever he did get in contact with me, it was because I had initiated that contact, whether I sent him a message, a text or made a phone call. He said he understood, he'd been very busy with work but would do better. Problem solved.
On Tuesday our daughter was due and I had everyone asking me how I was, if there had been any signs, even the father's ex-wife messaged me and asked me if I was ok and gave me the usual wives tales to start labour, which I thought was really big of her...but radio silence from the father. Nothing from him either on Wednesday so my dad suggest I send a message to him letting him know there hadn't been any movement, which I did, and got him and my mum to check so that it didn't sound off or annoyed. I also let him know that I was booked in for a sweep on Sunday (today). His response was 'Cool, I was expecting a phone call. Hoping she comes soon!' I had been really upset that he hadn't rung on Tuesday but as my dad explained, he's a man and men don't think like women do, so I sucked it up.
Then on Friday I had some rather unusual movement which I thought meant she might turn up, so I messaged him to let him know, but that nothing was definite and to stand by. His response was good, no problem...then later that day I got a message saying if I couldn't get hold of him on his mobile to ring a landline number. Not a problem! I asked whose it was, thinking it might be his boss. He said; 'Someone I've started dating'. Now to be clear, I've said to him from day one, I don't care if you start dating someone, as long as it doesn't stop you from being a father, which he promised me it wouldn't. But to say he's started dating someone implies it's been at least a week or two, which means he could have mentioned it to me on Sunday, or considering I was 3 days overdue he could have said 'a friend'.
Now all that's going through my mind is, all those weeks without contact where he's been busy, maybe he was out on dates...in which case, fair enough he wouldn't want to make it awkward by getting in contact, although a message once a week wouldn't have killed him. But I think the biggest issue for my mind is that he didn't ring on his daughter's due date, nor the day after, nor has he sent me any messages on any day since asking if there's been any movements or changes. The only time he's messaged is to reply 'Ok, hope it goes well.' to me saying not to worry about coming to the sweep, we'd call him if it triggered labour.
I'm now 5 days overdue and that means I'm already overly weepy and tired and fed up, but I've cried because of him every single day this week. I know the majority of you will probably tell me I'm being unreasonable, and I fully expect I am, but I just need some sensible input. If you're going to tell me 'Poor baby being in the middle of that' please just pass on by, I can't cope with negative comments that aren't constructive!!
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AIBU?
to be upset with the lack of contact and then this?
71 replies
DarkLightMamma · 06/11/2016 07:50
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