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Is this normal or AIBU?

(53 Posts)
AgainPlease Sat 05-Nov-16 18:13:45

DH dropping off DSS (12) to his mums house.

I get home and see the following:

Newly purchase nerf gun packaging scattered on staircase
Nerf gun on the floor in entrance hall
Nerf gun balls scattered all over sitting room floor
Empty & half-empty Chinese takeaway bowls on coffee table
Coffee table covered in sticky sauce
Cutlery covered in sticky sauce stuck to coffee table
Rice on the carpet
Go downstairs, clean dishes in dishwasher un-emptied
Dirty dishes scattered around the kitchen
Grocery shopping left on dining table
Lid of cookie jar LEFT NEXT TO the cookie jar. I mean how fucking hard is it to put a lid back on a cookie jar? Fuck sake.

AIBU in thinking this is too much and DH and DSS should have made a token effort of tidying up? At least pick up the fucking wet rice off the carpet.

Or is this just standard kid mess?

JenLindleyShitMom Sat 05-Nov-16 18:15:15

I'd go fucking apeshit if I came home to that regardless of who left it!

JenLindleyShitMom Sat 05-Nov-16 18:15:53

I hope you haven't cleaned it! It's DHs mess to clean.

GreatFuckability Sat 05-Nov-16 18:16:39

Its both annoying as fuck and extremely normal at the same time. However, I'd tell your dh to sort it when he's home.

ImperialBlether Sat 05-Nov-16 18:16:52

If I'd walked into that mess and I was on my own (no other children with me) I would've walked back out again, leaving a message saying I wouldn't be back until it was cleaned up.

thevulvabrigade Sat 05-Nov-16 18:17:07


AgainPlease Sat 05-Nov-16 18:17:23

I cleaned it already because I'm a bloody mug. Plus the smell of the takeaway was making me gag.

RiverTam Sat 05-Nov-16 18:18:09

Normal, and unless they had form for this I would assume they'd lost track of time and shot out without tidying. So I'd probably start cleaning up.

If there was form for this, though, I'd leave it.

JenLindleyShitMom Sat 05-Nov-16 18:19:20

What you need is a dog. We just cant leave anything like that lying around because the dog would eat it all and probably end up with shards of plastic wedged in his gums. It's made us really conscious of picking up after ourselves.

AgainPlease Sat 05-Nov-16 18:20:49

PLUS all the lights left on with the shutters open so every man and his dog can see straight in to our house.

AgainPlease Sat 05-Nov-16 18:21:58

jen even worse, we do indeed have a dog! I'm fuming.

MsJamieFraser Sat 05-Nov-16 18:22:22

I'd say it was a kid who had loads of fun at his dads house, and they where focused on fun rather than house work.

I'd say it's normal

We would have been doing FUN tonight if ds2 had not come down with the horrid bug that hospitalised ds2 this week.

We had to cancel Halloween due to the above, so this weekend we where going to do scary stories and movies, fancy dress, pranks and unlimited fun... it's all been cancelled due to ds2 being poorly.

JenLindleyShitMom Sat 05-Nov-16 18:29:11

Putting away groceries and shoving your take away containers in the bin is not housework! Fgs, it really is not a tragedy for a parent to say "let's get rid of these" after the fun and before it's time to go home.

Wishforsnow Sat 05-Nov-16 18:32:04

The way you have listed it out makes it sound like so much more than it is. Nerf stuff left out and Chinese not binned. The lid left off? Really?

YouTheCat Sat 05-Nov-16 18:33:44

I fail to see why the OP should be cleaning up their mess.

I don't care if they were having 'so much fun'. The kid is 12 and perfectly capable of cleaning up his own mess and his father is also capable of putting shopping away.

I'd go ballistic. Fucking thoughtless arses.

FrancisCrawford Sat 05-Nov-16 18:36:03

It's normal mess.

It isn't normal to leave it lying around. It's lazy, slovenly and disrespectful of your DH to expect someone else to clear up your mess. Even a toddler can help with tidying up.

FrancisCrawford Sat 05-Nov-16 18:38:04

I missed that DSS is 12!

That is ridiculous. He should have cleared up his mess while DH dealt with the food debris.

I'd be hiding the nerf gun. If DSS can't look after his belongings, they get put away until he can.

SpunkyMummy Sat 05-Nov-16 18:51:49


The nerf gun?

Nope. She should give the DH wet rice for the next few weeks. (At least every time she's the one doing the cooking).

DSS should have cleaned up. Yes.

But DHnis the adult. He should have made DSS clean up.

gratefully Sat 05-Nov-16 18:53:55

Why have you cleaned up after them?

If I knew someone was going to trail around after me tidying my mess I wouldn't lift a finger either.

happypoobum Sat 05-Nov-16 18:54:56

I wouldn't have cleared it up - I would have gone out and left DH to come home and do it. Does he have form for being so thoughtless?

Gottagetmoving Sat 05-Nov-16 18:57:25

I'd say it was a kid who had loads of fun at his dads house, and they where focused on fun rather than house work.I'd say it's normal

No, it's not normal. You can have fun without being a slob!
Clearing up after yourself is not 'housework' ! What sort of example is he setting his son?
You don't have fun and leave your mess for someone else to clean up.
Might be normal in your world but it's certainly not ok!

JenLindleyShitMom Sat 05-Nov-16 19:13:14

When my DCs told me their stepmum had given off to them for leaving their room messy I gave off to them too. I don't tolerate it at home and I wouldn't expect anyone else's to tolerate it from my DC. DC's response was "but dad doesn't make us tidy" i'll bet he doesn't, he did fuck all when he lived with me, no surprise he is still a lazy bastard with his wife. But my DC know to pick up after themselves whether they've been told to or not. No excuse. They are 7 and 11.

RiverTam Sat 05-Nov-16 19:44:20

Christ, you're all so unforgiving. I guess none of you have ever realising you're running later and left in a hurry. Imagine if you did and your DH responded as some of you suggest, going ballistic or whatever.

YouTheCat Sat 05-Nov-16 19:48:36

I'd have the respect to spend 10 minutes having a quick tidy so my dp didn't have to walk in on such a mess.

Pineapplemilkshake Sat 05-Nov-16 19:55:19

It would be normal behaviour from my DP. My DS 9 would have more sense though and would tidy after himself, realising I hate mess. I appreciate not all kids think this way though, I'd maybe cut them some slack as they may have been in a rush and DH plans to clear up when he gets back?

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