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Ear piercing WWYD

(192 Posts)
Tryingtostayyoung Sat 05-Nov-16 16:41:57

Hi all. Not really an AIBU but a WWYD.
DD is 3, 4 in March. She has expressed multiple times over the last month or so that she would like her ears pierced as one of her Xmas presents. Now I will admit that I have done something in wrong by nodding along and saying ok without speaking to DH, this is because we ALWAYS said that we wouldn't get it done just because we think it's looks pretty but that when she starts saying she wants it (if she ever did) then she can. Admittedly I should have checked first.
Today we were having a conversation about Xmas presents for her and I said, "well one present is her ears pierced so we can buy her some earrings to unwrap" he then starts to explain that he didn't actually think we were doing it and that it turns out when she had said it to him about doing it at Xmas he had been saying we'll see.
So his reasoning is that 1.He doesn't actually think she understands what she is asking for and that she doesn't realise it will actually really hurt (she is quite a sensitive emotional child) and worries that as she is quite fickle she won't understand that it doesn't just go away when she gets bored of it. No.2 He in general doesn't like it on children so young but admits that if No.1 wasn't an issue for him then he wouldn't mind No.2 IYSWIM.

My issue is that I have now told her she can (I know I know) and she is going to be really upset. We've left it as we'll discuss it again early December but I know were going to be back here. WWYD?!

ItsJustNotRight Sat 05-Nov-16 16:44:01

3? Ffs!

DearMrDilkington Sat 05-Nov-16 16:45:43

I'd distract her off the idea for another year personally. She's still quite young and it's going to be a nightmare turning them everyday if she finds them painful. I also really worry with younger children about the piercing catching on something and ripping the ear lobe.

Peppapogstillonaloop Sat 05-Nov-16 16:46:22

She's 3. Now you tell her she can't and she Sucks that up and probably forgets all about it. wjy would you let a 3 year old decide to have her ears pierced ffs?!!

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer Sat 05-Nov-16 16:46:26

I wouldnt pierce the ears of a 3 year old

I am not sure how thats going to help you though smile as you are going to have loads of answers which probably wont help you decide

Chocoholicmonster Sat 05-Nov-16 16:49:07

I personally wouldn't get such a young childs ears pierced. They require cleaning & care afterwards for at least a couple weeks & it can be painful. Buy her some clip ons / stick ons & I'm sure she will soon forget all about it.

stitchglitched Sat 05-Nov-16 16:49:12

She's 3. You tell her she's too young and she can have them done when she is x age (x being whatever age you agree on). And buy her some clip ons for xmas.

Tryingtostayyoung Sat 05-Nov-16 16:50:59

I suppose I don't really see the harm in it. A lot of girls at her school/nursery have it done so doesn't really strike me as odd or wrong that she would ask for it tbh. It's not so much letting her decide but more that she told us she wanted to get it done which I actually think is better than people who get it done when they are tiny and have no say

Hulababy Sat 05-Nov-16 16:52:05

At 3y I think she is most likely young enough to forget all about it when offered an exciting toy instead.

I personally dislike ear piercing on very young children - I feel it shouldn't be done until a child is old enough to be able to care for and look after it all themselves, for a number of reasons. A 3y cannot do this.

Other things to factor in, other than the temporary pain of having them done:

* Chance of getting them caught when playing - at 3y she is likely to be playing rough and tumble, climbing, running, etc for a while yet so more chance, esp if she has loose longer hair as well.

* Chance of infection from touching them too much - a 3y won't be able to remember not to do so.

* When she gets to school she may not be allowed to wear them at all - some primaries ban them full stop.

* School sports - many schools say they must be removed for any PE/Sports activities (advised usually due to risk of point 1 above, and is good practise recommended in primary PE teaching) - can she remove them/put them in themselves - sometimes there are sports activities on non planned for days so needs to manage this or risk missing out. Some schools say can be in but covered - child must be able to put on plasters/tape on and off over earrings. Teaching staff are not usually allowed to help.

* Ideally it should be done with a needle, not a gun. Many peering places will not use a needle on such a small child.

Tryingtostayyoung Sat 05-Nov-16 16:55:04

Hulababy your post of making me think that lots of factors I think I didn't really think about especially the needle one. Genuine question, why is it that a needle is better? I've heard that before but never understood. I have multiple in my ears from when I was younger and had them all done with a gun

DearMrDilkington Sat 05-Nov-16 16:55:27

I've got a lot of ear piercings but ear lobe piercings have always been the most uncomfortable by miles for me. It's not the initial piercing it's the uncomfortable turning every day and the sleeping on them that's the worst.
I've also had a lobe piercing sink right into the lobe which was incredibly painful to get out again.

They aren't always as easy as people think.

daisiesinherfootsteps Sat 05-Nov-16 16:55:36

If you go ahead with this I can see her ending up with just one ear pierced as there is no way a 3 year old understands just how sore it will be and she will freak.

It is way, way too young. Forget snobbishness about how it looks, the hygiene/pain/aftercare is the really worry.

Clip ons and even let her paint her nails?

gunting Sat 05-Nov-16 16:55:46

I think it's a stupid idea. I had mine done a bit older than your DD but managed to catch the earring while brushing my hair one day. The earring came through my ear lobe and the back of the earring got lodged in my ear for 3 months and infected. I would wait until she's older and can take some care of it herself.

DropZoneOne Sat 05-Nov-16 16:56:03

Seriously, she's 3? Why would you put your child through that unnecessarily?

Course she's asking, she wants sparkles in her ears. Buy her clip ons.

Twolittlejobbys Sat 05-Nov-16 16:56:06

I had my dd ears pierced when she was two! She's now nearly 12 and loves her earrings (so much she's had a second ear piercing done just over a year ago) yes they hurt a little when done but I found them easy to clean and turn etc and she's never caught them on anything or had an infection! Personally I think if she's nearly 4 she's old enough to understand it may hurt which you will obviously explain to her first?

DearMrDilkington Sat 05-Nov-16 16:56:43

young guns aren't as hygienic as a needle. They also aren't as accurate and you always have the risk that they will shatter the ear if not done correctly.

It really looks like you haven't put any research in at all before saying yes.

StarOnTheTree Sat 05-Nov-16 16:59:53

She probably just wants to wear lovely earrings. Claire's has lots of nice clip ons so get her some of them for Xmas and then see if she's still bothered.

Tryingtostayyoung Sat 05-Nov-16 17:01:04

Twolittlejobbys I have explained to her it will hurt yes and she does seem to understand. If you had another little girl would you do it again so young or did you regret it?

I find it interesting how many people don't like it on here considering how many people get it done. I live in a very mixed area in and lots and lots of little girls her age and under have it done (the more designer rich people and the people that others would call "chavy")

Tryingtostayyoung Sat 05-Nov-16 17:03:17

DearMrDilkington yes I don't really know why. I'm normally very careful and donalot research about things and would never normally agree tomsomething like this without discussing with my DH. Normally aswell people say I'm too protective with certain things I will not allow DD to do I think it's just because it seems so normal around here that I sort of said yes without thinking what I said yes to.

DearMrDilkington Sat 05-Nov-16 17:08:38

Honestly I'd wait until she was 5-6 and still wanted it done. However if you insist on getting it done, go to a piercing shop with good reviews. do not go to claires to get it done.

maddiemookins16mum Sat 05-Nov-16 17:09:13

I'm surprised so many other 3 year olds have it done at your nursery op.

ThoraGruntwhistle Sat 05-Nov-16 17:11:42

I think the pain and aftercare are too much for such a young child TBH. Guns aren't sterilised properly and punching/forcing an earring through the skin isn't a great idea. Buy her clip ons so she can play at having earrings and revisit the idea when she's older.

Tryingtostayyoung Sat 05-Nov-16 17:12:18

maddiemookins16mum I can count atleast 7 girls with it and I think there's only around 13girls

Hoppinggreen Sat 05-Nov-16 17:13:29

" you think it looks pretty"???!!!!!!!
I'm sure your 3 year old is pretty even without unnecessary holes in her body.
Also, you are her parents and is your job to say no to things that are inappropriate and potentially dangerous

thinkfast Sat 05-Nov-16 17:16:00

Apart from anything else if you get them done so young the piercings may well end up in the wrong place. I had mine done at 11 and as I grew the piercings are no longer symmetrical or central...

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