To drink a whole bottle of wine...

[teenagejennyagutter]

...when I'm in sole charge of my 3.5yo?

I'm a single parent. The nights he is at his Dad's I work.

It started off as a glass, it has crept up to a bottle.

My mother was an alcoholic so I am wary of my relationship with alcohol in general.

After a bottle I would gauge myself as tipsy but still fairly in control.

I work as a barmaid so I'm used to judging people's contextual level of drunkenness.

[CremeEggThief]

Every night you're home alone? No. Too much. As an occasional thing, it's okay, IMO.

[Wolfiefan]

It's not about how drunk you feel.
You are drinking more than is considered safe. Regularly? This much in one go is considered binge drinking. Your alcohol intake is steadily increasing yet you aren't feeling drunk. (So your tolerance is increasing.)
It's a problem.

[wombattoo]

I sometimes drink a bottle of wine but I am not in charge of anyone. I think it is fine ocasionally but not every night. Enjoy

[teenagejennyagutter]

Not every night, maybe 1 night every 3 weeks?

[MsMarvel]

Ill maybe do that once a week at most, but not normally that often. Tonight for example I am watching dsd, she is in bed and I am drinking wine. Had half a bottle left and when thats gone I may have a gin...

But its not every night.

The act of drinking a bottle in itself isnt bad, but not a good sign if its a regular thing, say more than 3 times a week?

[DeathpunchDoris]

It's ok

[Wolfiefan]

It's still classed as a binge. It's unhealthy.
Do you not drink at all the other nights?

[MsMarvel]

X post. 1 night every 3 weeks is completely fine! Relax and enjoy your wine! 🍷

[bbcessex]

Hello hello

Is this every time or as a one off? Couple of glasses - ok, but Probably not great to have a whole bottle on your own if more than a rare event.

[CremeEggThief]

Well obviously 1 night every 3 weeks is much better than a few nights a week, but it's still a bit much, IMO. I drink a bottle of wine over 3 nights every other weekend on average.

[bbcessex]

My advice? Don't have a whole bottle by yourself. . Slippery slope.

[haveacupoftea]

I used to drink a whole bottle on a Sunday night i'm not an alcoholic - giving up drink for pregnancy was a breeze. You know in your heart when you're starting to lose control.

[teenagejennyagutter]

I have a fair mixture of nights home with DS where I don't drink at all, nights where friends come over and we'll share a bottle and nights where it's just me in my jammies and the telly and I'll have a bottle.

[longtermsinglemummy]

I do this every night. Sometimes more, sometimes a bit less.

I want to stop though.

[amammabear]

I have mixed feelings. I'm not against alcohol altogether, but I do think that if you're in sole charge of a child, it's not a good idea to drink more than just a little alcohol- say under the sink drive limit.

I'm sure that won't be popular, but I'm just being honest.

[teenagejennyagutter]

longtermsinglemummy what makes you want to stop?

[Tetrimino]

Of course it's absolutely fine. The perfect parent brigade will start the 'what if you have to drive' rhetoric, but as you already know it's demonstrably fine.

[Wolfiefan]

You know what the suggested limits are. You know if you are relying on alcohol to unwind or to aid socialising.
You know if you miss it when you can't drink.
You know if it's affecting relationships.
You know drinking too much or allowing your drinking to steadily increase is an issue.
I would aim for several alcohol free nights a week. No more than a glass or two a night. A blow out very occasionally won't hurt. A birthday or hen night. But weekly or monthly drinking about 9 plus units in one night. Bad news.

[ItsJustNotRight]

No, not in sole charge of a child, never, never,never. You would be way over the legal limit to drive and that also means way over the limit for trusting your judgement. I amazed PPs are so relaxed about this, maybe I have misunderstood your post. You're home alone with a 3.5 yr old and you've drunk a bottle of wine? That's correct? I can easily knock back a bottle or more but never in charge of children.

[longtermsinglemummy]

teenage Because I know it's not right. I don't feel healthy. I don't like myself.

[teenagejennyagutter]

I can't drive and live at most 20 minutes walk away from a sick kids with a&e so thankfully that's not a factor.

I do use it to unwind, but I also have a diagnosed stress disorder so I am guilty of erring on the side of relaxed mummy is better than sober mummy!

[teenagejennyagutter]

And then I get stressed about feeling guilty

[Wolfiefan]

Relying on alcohol is dependence. You need to find another way to unwind.
It's fine to enjoy a glass. But you are heading towards needing that bottle.

[ItsJustNotRight]

teenage I don't mean to sound judgemental but if you are thinking you are a better parent half cut than sober then you need to get that sorted, it isn't healthy thinking, it can't ever be true. I had a violent, alcoholic father and I wouldn't wish that on any child. You say your mum was alcoholic so you must be aware of the problems it brings. Do try and knock this on the head somehow so that you feel the better person without a drink and save the drinking for when you have company or your DC is elsewhere. I don't mean this to sound like a lecture but genuinely concerned for you.

[amammabear]

For me, it's not about being a perfect parent, or driving (but that gives an indication of how much you can have before it affects you severely, incidentally, if you were driving I'd say no drinking at all rather than just staying under the limit). For me, it's about how it impairs your senses and decision making abilities.

I also think that the fact your are feeling guilty about means you think that your should feel guilty about it, and whether or not a few people here say it's fine, you should hop with your gut feeling.