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To Not Want the Ex Wife dictating the Atmosphere in my home all Wknd

(99 Posts)
gttob Fri 04-Nov-16 20:03:04

Just that really, although I guess this is more DH issue. He needs to manage his reaction better.

One text and the whole house is in chaos, shouting, dsd grizzling again the minute she arrives, other children retreating to bedrooms to hide from her and the general mood.
She seems to be able to dictate the mood in this house from miles away. And I've never even met the woman!!

The lady in the co op even asked what was the matter!

One text that's all it took. Am I really being unreasonable to want a nice weekend without this drama and upset from someone who is not even here!

Chipsahoy Fri 04-Nov-16 20:07:31

It's dh not her. He is responsible for the way he reacts and deals with it.

Manumission Fri 04-Nov-16 20:09:58

What on earth the did she say?

Yes, it's normally the emotional intelligence of the 'link adult' that determines how these things go TBH.

Crunchymum Fri 04-Nov-16 20:10:25

What an Earth was said to cause such a far reaching reaction from you all?

JenLindleyShitMom Fri 04-Nov-16 20:11:38

One text only affects the whole house/weekend if the person who receives it shares the message with everyone else. He chooses who he affects with it. Tell him to stop making her issues your problem.

gttob Fri 04-Nov-16 20:14:45

Nothing horrendous tbh. But after months of a pre teen grizzling at every opportunity and him coming in in a foul temper this evening, again, I'm afraid to say I've had enough.
My children are hiding, they are cleaning and I'm on the sofa with wine.

This year has been hard. Health, anxiety etc. Worked all day, ran round the supermarket to be met with a bad mood and grizzling.

I just want a nice weekend and this weekend won't be the one confused

gttob Fri 04-Nov-16 20:17:05

shockIt was about hair!! I have had enough of the constant nits though

Lunar1 Fri 04-Nov-16 20:17:51

This ha nothing to do with his ex and is completely down to how him not being able to handle his emotions. Completely understandable for a pre teen, completely unacceptable from a grown man. Why are you subjecting your children to him?

BratFarrarsPony Fri 04-Nov-16 20:18:57

It is not her it is him.
Also why do you keep using the word 'grizzling'? do you really not like her? Maybe she picks up on that.

SpaceToad Fri 04-Nov-16 20:20:03

Your children are cleaning shock. Um keep getting ew to send the texts?
Sorry really unhelpful I know.
Your DP need to moderate his reaction to the texts. The preteen. Well they'll grizzle no matter what you do!

pinkyredrose Fri 04-Nov-16 20:20:09

Why does your DH get in a mood when she texts and who's doing the shouting? You and your DH both seem to be allowing her a lot of power, you need to communicate with each other to find a way to deal with her calmly. Otherwise this will be your life for years.

pinkyredrose Fri 04-Nov-16 20:20:50

space grin

JenLindleyShitMom Fri 04-Nov-16 20:23:06

I can't help thinking you just need to be a bit fucking firmer about his behaviour. Stop taking his shite.

gttob Fri 04-Nov-16 20:26:38

smile jlsm - that's what i needed.

Guess who isn't coming this evening.

My children are in their rooms because they are fed up with the grizzling. Trust me they can be just as bad I know that!! But tonight it's not their turn 😐

VeryBitchyRestingFace Fri 04-Nov-16 20:26:41

Your ex-wife-in-law sends a text to your DH (?) about nits (?) and it causes:

- your husband to lose the plot
- your stepdaughter to "grizzle"
- your kids to hide and clean
- you to sit on the sofa and quoff wine


Can you quote the text or is that too identifying?

Arfarfanarf Fri 04-Nov-16 20:27:00

Unless the text was ive just killed your mother and stuck her head on a pike your husband is ridiculous.

He is in control of his reactions.

You wait until his weekend long strops are a result of something you've said to displease him.

gttob Fri 04-Nov-16 20:27:13

Coming??? I meant cooking!!

Hassled Fri 04-Nov-16 20:30:11

I'm agog. What the hell could the text possibly have said? I think you need to meet this woman with the magical texting powers pronto. I sort of wish I had magical texting powers.

Lunar1 Fri 04-Nov-16 20:30:25

What the hell is grizzling?

Jinglebellsandv0dka Fri 04-Nov-16 20:31:05

Oh god he needs to man up!

Why doesn't he just ignore all messages from her over the weekend OR you can read them first !

JessShouldHaveBeenAPiranha Fri 04-Nov-16 20:32:02

(Scribbles in diary)

November 4th. Evil Ex Day on Mumsnet.

JessShouldHaveBeenAPiranha Fri 04-Nov-16 20:33:17

What's an ex wife in law? (am tired)

SpunkyMummy Fri 04-Nov-16 20:34:39

It seems like DH is the problem, tbh.

Why can't he control his reaction?

ShebaShimmyShake Fri 04-Nov-16 20:35:38

I sense some unspoken context. I'm perceptive like that.

Why won't you just tell us what she said? Why all gather mystery?

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