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To be upset with NHS over DDs weight?

(445 Posts)
Fudgefudgefudge Fri 04-Nov-16 17:38:36

DD is 4 and is in reception. Recently she had her vision, hearing, weight etc measured at school and yesterday I received a letter from the NHS saying that they are referring her to Morelife. Having googled it I'm mortified, I had no idea my child was that overweight! I checked the NHS site which measures their BMI and using the measurements they provided it shows DD being obese and on the 99th percentile sad

Now I breastfed DD up until her 1st birthday and she was a big baby back then but over the years she's slimmed up if you know what I mean and to me she just doesn't look overweight. She has a healthy appetite and I am well aware of how to eat a healthy balanced diet etc but I do allow a treat for good behaviour. And DD is a very active, she would rather run than walk and I don't drive so she's used to walking places.

AIBU to be upset about this? What do I do? Ask the GP their opinion? It's made me doubt my abilities as a mother as I never even considered she could be obese.

Fanfeck Fri 04-Nov-16 17:40:27

Sorry to hear this OP. Apparently parents rarely recognise when their child is overweight though.

Floggingmolly Fri 04-Nov-16 17:40:35

If she's overweight, all the checks have done is drawn attention to it. Why on earth are you "upset with the NHS"??

Soubriquet Fri 04-Nov-16 17:40:43

I'm sure I've heard these are incredibly inaccurate

Solasum Fri 04-Nov-16 17:43:20

Try and look at her dispassionately. Can you see her ribs? Does she have a sticky out tummy? If you can't and she does, she is overweight.

Introvertedbuthappy Fri 04-Nov-16 17:43:32

Research has shown that parents are incredibly inaccurate at judging when a child is overweight or not.
It's good that you know this now as now you can make subtle changes. Perhaps make an appointment with your GP. Good luck.

Lucked Fri 04-Nov-16 17:43:34

Why are you upset at the NHS and not just upset?

GreatFuckability Fri 04-Nov-16 17:44:35

My dd is 'Overweight' according to the nhs bmi. Except she isn't at all. What she is, is muscular and fit and well developed for her age.
What is your dds weight/height? If she is tall for her age that will distort the result.

FarAwayHills Fri 04-Nov-16 17:44:59

Are their measurements accurate?

Fudgefudgefudge Fri 04-Nov-16 17:45:23

I'm upset because it's really not obvious that she's overweight! She just looks like a healthy child to me. And to be directed to this Morelife just makes me feel like crap, like I'm not able to look after my own child.

PerspicaciaTick Fri 04-Nov-16 17:47:44

DD was on the 90th centile for weight when she started school. I had a concerned letter flagging her weight as an issue. She was on the 98th centile for height. The letter didn't mention that.

defineme Fri 04-Nov-16 17:47:53

Have you put her height, weight, age into nhs bmi calculator?
Try to think positive, if this is correct then she is only young and you can adjust portion size/increase activity without her noticing, far harder to deal with when they are older.
I got a letter about dd at same age, but she was only a kilo into overweight and it came off without any adjustments as she lost the last of her baby fat over the next year.
Deep breath and chin up

Alfieisnoisy Fri 04-Nov-16 17:48:13

BMI measurements can be notoriously inaccurate for children however if your DD is on the 99th centimetres for weight then they are right to draw your attention to it,
In your position I would ask for a referral to a dietician ...I see one with DS who is also needed overweight being autistic and having a tendency to gorge. Dietitians can be brilliant and look at the whole weight and BMI thing well.
TBH if her weight was always on the 99th centipede then this could just be normal for her, however if she has jumped there from say the 50th then it's significant. TBH it is hard now for parents....we all have a skewed idea of what portion sizes should be, plates are much bigger than they used to be too. It would be very easy to inadvertently overfeed a child.

Glastonbury Fri 04-Nov-16 17:48:42

Can you see her ribs? I don't get why you are upset with the NHS. Take it as a positive to help your child.

NavyandWhite Fri 04-Nov-16 17:49:30

Does she look overweight?

Alfieisnoisy Fri 04-Nov-16 17:49:57

...and please don't feel like crap if it turns out that she is a bit overweight. So so difficult to get it right these days ...so much social pressure and advertising on children and adults, bigger plates, skewed ideas of what is a "normal" portion.

Sparlklesilverglitter Fri 04-Nov-16 17:50:55

I can understand you being upset OP but sometimes when you look at your child it's via parent eyes and you can't always see.

With childhood obesity being such a problem, I guess it's quite good they keep an eye on children from a young age.

As you say she's active that clearly isn't the problem, which is a good thing.

Maybe you could look at any improvements you could make to your meals? Extra added veg, leaner meat etc

You could keep a food diary for your DD for a week and then read back over it and see what you think?
Sometime people give things they think are healthy ( fruit juice etc) without realising th amount of sugar, fat that in it

GreatFuckability Fri 04-Nov-16 17:51:03

*99th centipede*grin

Arfarfanarf Fri 04-Nov-16 17:52:33

People have lost sight of what is a healthy weight. We're all getting bigger and people just dont see it.
It isnt an attack on you so try to not feel bad. It's an attempt to identify and address an issue before it becomes a problem. Which is a good thing.

sparechange Fri 04-Nov-16 17:52:40

What age clothes does she wear?

BackforGood Fri 04-Nov-16 17:52:58

I don't get why you are upset with the NHS either.
These checks are done precisely because parents rarely think their own dc is overweight. Now you know, you will be able to do something about it.

AyeAmarok Fri 04-Nov-16 17:53:40

Parents usually seem to have a blind spot when their child is overweight.

YABU to be annoyed at the NHS for pointing out a health issue that you were unable to see yourself, and for offering you support with how to rectify that.

ageingrunner Fri 04-Nov-16 17:55:12

Which centile is she for height op? Is she talk for her age?

harderandharder2breathe Fri 04-Nov-16 17:55:12

Yabu to be upset with the NHS

But yanbu to be upset. Be glad that you've been alerted to some thing tgst may be an issue now so you can fix it. It's true parents are notoriously bad at recognising if their own children are overweight. So go to the GP and ask them for their opinion. And then take it on board.

If she is overweight then better realise now while she's still little enough that you can control her food intake and exercise. The professionals aren't there to make you feel bad, they're there to work with you for the good of your child

Introvertedbuthappy Fri 04-Nov-16 17:55:37

This is a positive thing, it means you can do something about it.

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